traveler_n Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 After 7 months, I got that call last night that I was hoping for when we had first broken up. He called me crying saying he made a mistake by letting me go and that he just broke up with his current girlfriend (he supposedly ended things). He said that he really realized that I was there for him. He said the reason he ended things with me was because he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend his life with me because it's a huge commitment and he had questioned his love for me. When we broke up it was so hard on me. It took me months to get over and I lost 10 pounds. He said he wants to try again. I asked him why he would want to try again if he wasn't sure if he loved me previously. I told him that I really moved on with my life in that area but we could be friends. He actually wants to hang out today. Should I even hang out with him?
Eyebrows Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 It's possible he's rebounding. It's possible that he has genuinely realised what he had. If he does, then he should have to earn it by showing you he really cares and not just talking about it. Do you want him as a friend? When someone's hurt you, that's always going to be at the back of your mind. Friendship should be on an equal footing and when one party has hurt the other so much, that equal footing is hard to find.
LostOnes05 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 Nope, I think he is in an emotional state and going back to what is familiar. Don't be the fallback's fallback. Be busy today and see how serious he is when he comes down from his emotional rollercoaster. If you just want to be friends, Id give it more time to make sure you don't fall back into the same scenario. 1
CarrieT Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 If he *just* broke up with her, then do not see him. He is too emotionally fragile and you are too hopeful. The best thing you could do is to tell him to remain single for a year and then call you.
candie13 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 Give it time. Plenty of time. He ended things with another woman after leaving you - he is a mess, obviously. You do not want to expose yourself to this emotional hurricane. First: protect yourself. Give yourself time and ask him to take time. He needs time to digest his recent RS and break up. He seems to run away from the pain by jumping immediately in a RS with someone new, only to realize it's not helping him - and hurting the people he's getting in RS with. He jumped into a RS with a new girl after leaving you. He leaves her and wants to jump back into a RS with you. No. He needs to face the pain, like an adult, and clean up his own sh*t and stop using people as emotional safety nets. There is no way out of the pain, but through it. The more he stalls it, the more painful it gets. Stay near him and he'll bring you back to the personal hell you had escaped some time back. Don't be scared to be patient, girl. If he is the man for you, you guys will end up together. Give it time to make sense of what happened. Getting back together won't annul the hurt of his leaving you. You need to understand how he works. You need to understand precisely why he broke up with you. What are his fears. Did he get over them. How he reacts under pressure. How he reacts in front of pressure. Especially if you consider staying with him long term. You don't want a mindf*cker. Take time to understand and get to know how he works.
Neffer Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Be careful - it sounds like he is wanting an emotional bandaid. Take care of yourself/protect your feelings first. He wants to avoid feeling the bad stuff that comes with a breakup = bandaid. Probably avoiding him is for the best for you. He gets to take care of his own feelings.
sowhynot Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 (edited) Should I even hang out with him? I wouldn't He dumped you and made you feel like cr@p for 7 months, now it's payback time. And there's a high possibility that if he knows he can crawl back to you after flipping you for another, he'll do exactly the same thing sometime in the future. Don't be a doormat, go find someone nicer and better. Edited April 24, 2016 by sowhynot
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