Author tayriley Posted April 28, 2016 Author Posted April 28, 2016 Hmmm......weird that he asked (what I assumed is) one of your friends for your number instead of you directly. Not only did he/she give it to him but when he texted you, you responded back positively without knowing that he has your number without your prior knowledge. When he asked you to come to dinner on a Thursday, did he do so with the intention of "dating" you or is this the part where he was "hanging out" with you? Next, how old is he? Thanks for the in depth play-by-play. I don't know his exact age but he is likely 28-32 because he went to school with someone I know. Here's how he got my number- He asked an acquaintance of mine/friend of his if she was okay with him contacting me. She texted me to tell me he is interested in me. I told her, ok, give him my info. That's how he got it. So no, it wasn't out of the blue when he texted. I was expecting a call or text from him already. I'm not sure what his intentions are. Going into it, I was sure it was romantic or sexual, but given the lack of physical contact and how fast he ended the hang out/date after we ate, I am confused. Some commenters said he is just in it for sex...but he literally didnt touch me. Some commenters said he is lazy...this is possible, but my question is, how many (young) guys these days do the 'official date' thing? or is it pretty normal to hang out casually to see if you are compatible? Some commenters said he just isn't that interested in me...but he asked me out again. At this point, I'm leaning toward him being a bit socially awkward/nervous or intimidated by me. It's very possible that if I didn't go in to hug him, he would've hugged me anyway. It all happened pretty fast. As for your dating issue- you should ask more girls out. I know that for me, I become attracted to someone when I get to know them. It is extremely rare for me to be into a guy based on looks alone. In fact, looks almost don't register with me unless they are just hollywood smoking hot. I know it's different for guys (looks matter more, at least initially), but still- over and over I see someone say 'this is my (preferred physical) type', and then fall for someone that is nothing like their 'type.'
Saracena Posted April 28, 2016 Posted April 28, 2016 Anyway, he texted me to ask me to lunch, but I didnt respond (we started talking about something else and then the texting died out). Well, if you didn't respond, he may well believe you're not interested in seeing HIM. I'm not surprised you've not heard back from him. 1
Author tayriley Posted April 29, 2016 Author Posted April 29, 2016 Well, if you didn't respond, he may well believe you're not interested in seeing HIM. I'm not surprised you've not heard back from him. Yes, I realize that. I posted on this forum because I was questioning whether I should see him again or let it go. I wanted to listen to other peoples' opinions before I made a decision.
TheBathWater Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 hmm, i dislike that a lot. seems really manipulative. It is; I agree. But this one guy I know in particular who does it, none or very few of the many women in his life feel that way. There is a lot of truth to when guys say that women often respond best to what they say they don't want and are repelled the most by the things they say they do want.
Popsicle Posted April 29, 2016 Posted April 29, 2016 Let me premise by saying that I'm 30 years old and I've never properly done 'dating' before. In the past, my boyfriends have all come from guys that were part of a group of friends I hung out with. So it really would begin with some drinking with friends, then making out, then hooking up, then maybe relationship. Recently, a guy I met at a party showed interest in me and asked an acquaintance for my number. He texted me right away to 'hang out.' (his words, not mine) We ended up going to a dinner on a Thursday at a restaurant he chose. It was an order-at-the-counter place, and he already had his wallet out to pay, so I didn't suggest splitting the bill. We talked, ate and stayed at the restaurant for about an hour and a half. After that, he asked if I was ready to leave. I said ok, and we parted ways. The entire time, he never tried to touch me (like on the arm or leg), and he didn't even go in for a hug at the end of the date. I was the one that hugged him. We were parked in opposite directions, and he didn't walk me to my car either. (That would've given us private time for a possible kiss.) Right before we left each other, he asked if I might want to 'hang out' again sometime and that he would text me. (It's been less than 2 days- he hasn't yet) As my past relationships have all been friendships that blossomed into sexual relationships, this 'hang out' session really threw me. Does he keep saying 'hang out' to make it a 'not-a-date'? Why? If he is romantically/sexually interested, why not be up front with it? The no-touching, no-hugging, no-kissing thing makes me think he isn't sexually interested in me at all. Tbh, I am physically attracted enough to him that even if the date was bad, I would've still seriously considered sleeping with him. So my question is (especially to the guys out there)- do you ever NOT touch/hug/kiss a girl on the first date even though you are interested in them? Do you go out of your way to call it 'hang out' instead of 'date'? Why? I just dont know what dating etiquette is these days among 30 year olds...could someone please shine some light on it? Do you exclusively text to ask someone out for the first time or do some guys out there still make a phone call to ask a girl out? How long between dates? Do you end a weekday date early because of work the next day or if attracted, do you try to sleep with them regardless? He also didn't offer to pick me up for this date or even ask what part of town I live in (I asked him- he answered and never bothered asking back.) I keep coming back to the 'sex and the city' line 'he's just not that into you.' according to a girl on that show, if the guy isn't showing sexual interest at the end of a date, then he's just not into you. Is this true? (and yes, there is an obvious exception if they are asexual, which i do not believe him to be.) Yes, he's interested and yes it was a date. He's probably shy but he'll figure things out soon. Just go with it.
Lansing Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 So you don't end up going out with him again? Seemed like he was sptestimg the waters to me. I do that sometimes when I am not sure whether the girl is interested and socially I will see her out and about or if friends with one of my friends. Personally I don't like to be too bold in those kind of situations
Author tayriley Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 So you don't end up going out with him again? Seemed like he was sptestimg the waters to me. I do that sometimes when I am not sure whether the girl is interested and socially I will see her out and about or if friends with one of my friends. Personally I don't like to be too bold in those kind of situations Yea, I haven't spoken to him in a week. We only share one friend (and she is really only an acquaintance to me) so there's not a high chance of running into him. It's too bad. If he were more bold, I'd totally be into him. But because he was so lukewarm, it left me lukewarm.
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