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How to break the ice and get a conversation going?


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Posted

Hey all,

 

So i went to a restaurant with my mom this evening for her birthday and we had a great time. A young lady there, a waitress brought us our food and that was that. As soon as i saw here i thought to myself..''damn, that's a nice lady.'' While we were eating i noticed that she glanced at me a few times while she was just waiting for customers. And when i paid for the food and we left, she said ''goodbye'' in a certain way. Of course it could all be in my head and that it's nothing, but i have a feeling the interest was mutual. Let's just call it that.

 

It's a fantastic place and definitely not too pricey, so i am gonna go there more often for a full meal or a quick bite. Let's say i see her again next time....what is a good way to break the ice? I am absolutely ****ing terrible at small talk, i don't like it, but then who does? I just never really know what to say. My intention is to basically ask her out for a drink, but i can't just do that out of the blue. Chances are she won't even recognize me next time, so i have to say something, do something that no other regular customer would do. I just need some advice, never hurts to get some advice.

 

A friend of mine who is absolutely not shy in any way and VERY good with women, he would just say she's a damn fine lady and he'd like to get to know her better. But i definitely believe that it's important how you say things, and some things should just not be said if you know you're going to fail.

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Posted

 

Basically i should ask her how a certain type of food is that they serve? :)

Posted
Basically i should ask her how a certain type of food is that they serve? :)

 

Yeah, or you could go there for 3 weeks and order the same meal every day LOL

  • Author
Posted
Yeah, or you could go there for 3 weeks and order the same meal every day LOL

 

Hahaha i like that. That made me laugh. :)

 

As simple as the idea is, the first one, it's not even that bad. Next time i could ask her her opinion on what meal is really good, who knows..maybe get some small talk going if that happens and i could leave a tip with note with my number and perhaps with ''i'd love to buy you a drink sometime.'' on it at my table before i leave, and notifiy her of it.

 

Because i've been talking to some friends and they said you should never ask someone out when they are working, i'll make them uncomfortable and they also need to stay professional.

Posted

i think your friend has good advice a direct and honest approach..as far as small talk goes.....asking how her day is going......finding a common interest...cracking a few jokes..dont get stuck on small talk though...just be open.....being interested and appearing interested in what she has to say is a good idea.....direct eye contact helps too...deb

Posted
Hahaha i like that. That made me laugh. :)

 

As simple as the idea is, the first one, it's not even that bad. Next time i could ask her her opinion on what meal is really good, who knows..maybe get some small talk going if that happens and i could leave a tip with note with my number and perhaps with ''i'd love to buy you a drink sometime.'' on it at my table before i leave, and notifiy her of it.

 

Because i've been talking to some friends and they said you should never ask someone out when they are working, i'll make them uncomfortable and they also need to stay professional.

 

Hi Moonwalker

 

I worked as a waiter once in a fine restaurant.

 

You are putting on "a mask" when you serve all the guests and that's why you don't want to directly ask a waitress out.

 

Subtlety is great ex. giving her a paper like an invitation.

 

This article might help you as I resonated with what the waitress had to tell:

How to Score with a Waitress - Waiter Rant

 

wildfiremichael

  • Author
Posted
i think your friend has good advice a direct and honest approach..as far as small talk goes.....asking how her day is going......finding a common interest...cracking a few jokes..dont get stuck on small talk though...just be open.....being interested and appearing interested in what she has to say is a good idea.....direct eye contact helps too...deb

 

Sometimes the smallest of things are the best. I don't know why i never can come up with those things myself. Asking someone how their day is going is always a nice gesture, i could crack a nice smile too while i ask it her. So yeah, asking how her day has been going and then ask what food is really good, and why etc.

 

Hi Moonwalker

 

I worked as a waiter once in a fine restaurant.

 

You are putting on "a mask" when you serve all the guests and that's why you don't want to directly ask a waitress out.

 

Subtlety is great ex. giving her a paper like an invitation.

 

This article might help you as I resonated with what the waitress had to tell:

How to Score with a Waitress - Waiter Rant

 

wildfiremichael

 

Much appreciated. With paper like an invitation you mean slipping a note in her hand where i ask if i can buy her a drink sometime with my phonenumber on it?

 

I don't have the time right now, but i will definitely read that article tomorrow.

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Posted

So i read the article, a good article. But one thing, about giving a tip. Give 20% she says. Let's say i eat there again for like 15 euros, does this woman mean i give 20% of 15 euros as a tip? So basically a 3 euro tip?

 

It's interesting the different advice i get from people. Some (these were all waiters,waitresses) said to me it's a general rule that you handle it in a subtle way, so you don't directly ask her out or for her number. While others say it's fine to be honest, tell her what you think and just ask her out. I could definitely tell her it was nice to see her again and that i would love to buy her a drink sometime after i have given her the money and tip for the food. But i could also put a note or napkin with invitation and my number on it in her hand.

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