Revolver Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Been single my whole life and it looks like it will continue that way
carhill Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 Given that it's almost accepted that if you're single you're going to be or should be dating how many people have actually thrown in the towel, either permanently or for the time being, and are not actively dating in any form? Yeah, it's pretty customary for people to seek out intimate partners and throwing in the towel on that can be viewed as outlier, though it does go on. I went through periods of it in life, generally lasting a few years. I'm one of those people and I just find he whole concept of dating weird. Living your life and maybe going on the odd date with someone you happen to bump into one night seem fine to me but so many people seem to be on this endless carousel of dating. That seems bizarre and very desperate to me.I think 'purposeful' was a word I assigned to it, with that meaning it wasn't free-form association or happenstance or going with the flow, more like targeted focus, similar to other particular goals in life and a bit different, perhaps more than a bit, from growing friendships, the most common relationship type, more organically. I always felt rushed. It would be interesting to know how many of you guys think the same way or are in a similar position.I last dated a bit over six years ago, after my exW and I split up and while we were divorcing. I lost interest and it felt forced so left and haven't returned. Whenever I get an inkling of desire, I remind myself of a lifetime of experience and to see things with clearer eyes. Some folks go on hope and good on them but at my age, I deal in reality and it's pretty much been a negative experience and I want my remaining time on the planet to proceed in a more positive manner so make other choices than overt and forced seeking of strangers which is the only way such associations have and will ever happen for myself. Hope was more prevalent as a younger man; now it is replaced by acceptance. Good luck in your pursuits.
ThaWholigan Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I don't date at all right now. I'm busy sorting my life out first
Larryville Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 with each passing day I do feel that dating really is seriously an utter complete waste of time, money and mental energy. Will clarify, dating with the objective of building a relationship... Was given another reason this morning why my original statement was correct again. Not earth shattering just mentally stripped of any more "give a damn." Thank goodness starting a LONG driving trip so I will have to practice my IRL skills so many here talk about But as of today all dating accounts deleted and officially NOT dating for the foreseeable future.
spiderowl Posted May 8, 2016 Posted May 8, 2016 I've tried online dating, got chatting to many, and yet have hardly met any. I have to feel a real connection and that is rare. When it does happen, it tends to be with men younger than me who are open-minded and have not become bitter and tired. Unfortunately, then I feel I would be taking too big a risk meeting someone who is likely to then move on to someone younger, so I don't take up those opportunities either. It's actually becoming quite hurtful, having opportunities with nice guys and not taking them. They can't understand it because they see it as an interesting experience, whereas I don't want to get hurt. I am now going to give up on even chatting to guys. It's too painful to be reminded that I'm alone and there won't be anyone suitable for me. I can't hack it any more.
Otter2569 Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) This is a great thread! I have actually had several long term relationships from free OLD but that was a while back. Something has seriously changed with the way people act on line. Today it feels so fake and like a huge waste of time: until recently I had never been canceled on or had so many women flake out...now its the norm. Its really a matter of adjusting your expectations...unfortunately. I have really slowed things down lately. Some weeks I was out with 4 different woman. Thats a huge time commitment and a waste of $ especially when you dont get anything out of it. Most are one date wonders. Better to spend the time doing things I enjoy. I'll probably always have an online account open but I'm not going to obsess over it or let it rule my life! Where have all the real women gone?! Edited May 9, 2016 by Otter2569 1
misspond Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 I've been on a few dates in the last five years, maybe two a year? and all but one from from OLD. I didn't really click with any of them until I met someone last summer and we were seeing one another regularly but then I discovered that after 5 months I actually didn't want to be in a relationship (or at least not in a relationship with the person I was in one with). At 49 years of age with two children to take care of I don't have a lot of time and energy for dating and I've decided to just not pursue it.
carnelian Posted May 9, 2016 Posted May 9, 2016 (edited) I stopped dating 5-6 years ago and I am older than you guys. I have dated more girls than I can remember and found very little in common with them or nothing at all. It was frustrating and mainly a waste of time. I didn't even enjoy many of the dates. Nowadays I am not attracted to women my age and am too old for the ones I am attracted to. I have found them very picky about the men they will date or take seriously--and very judgmental as well. I will not tolerate judgmental women who are more interested in my social status, money, and materialistic things. Honestly, I would be happier today if I had not met most of the girls I have known. I have always been single and this will not change. I think that things will get worse not better. Dating becomes even more difficult the older you are. Edited May 9, 2016 by carnelian adding more
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Damn. That's sad. Well I can happen to guys very easily since it happens to guys more than women
TunaCat Posted May 10, 2016 Posted May 10, 2016 Me. I haven't had a date since my ex dumped me over a year ago. I tried to get back in the dating game last fall, but I had no luck. Honest to god, no luck at ALL.
ChocolateRain Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 last time i had a RLDATE was two years ago ... handsome guy as smooth as they come . Dated for a 2 month then came to find out he has a wife in Canada and has just been married for 5 month ... whooHoo way to go ...ME lol so i said let's just kiss and say good bye ... did the OLD thing and people always say '' you need to date '' Real Guys '' hhhhh the thing is those people who are behind the screens are real people and i have seen and heard it all now ... and thats exactly whats so scary ... people lie on dating sites and lie even more in RL ...i dont see the difference ..so , i stopped this dating thing ! if it was meant to be for me than it will happen i am not looking anymore ... either i will be found or lost forever hhh ...i dont lose sleep over it anymore
Toodaloo Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 I stopped dating. I just got fed up of the never ending roller coaster. I was fed up with meeting men who were not at all suitable or were bitter, disliked themselves or were hiding something (sometimes a wife...). It was all so wearing on the nerves, finances and emotions... I knew I was about to be dumped with the last guy so I didn't bother contacting him but booked myself in for dance lessons instead on the night we were supposed to meet (which I am still thoroughly enjoying and have met loads of new people doing by the way!). Imagine his shock when he text to dump me and I said no worries, that I had already guessed and was going out dancing instead but take care and good luck... There I was having a wonderful time, happy just to be on my own and free to do what I wanted and not stress about it all... But I forgot to take down my profile and the chap I am now dating sent me a message on OLD... It was a good message. I figured what the heck. If I don't like him it doesn't matter. If he is another that is flakey etc then it doesn't matter... He is great. I am glad he said hello. Will it last? Who knows? But at least I still have a full life to look forward to if he does disappear. Life shouldn't be just about dating. If it doesn't last with this guy I think I shall remain on my "break" from dating. Its more fun to go out and meet people and do fun things. I am happier doing that.
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