likeahawk Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 We broke up 3 weeks ago today and I went into no contact immediately. 3 days ago I decided to break no contact to send her a simple email, just apologising for our last argument as I wanted to explain my side and say sorry as well. I didn't ask for another chance or tell her I love her. I ended by wishing her luck etc. I have not received a response. She receives a lot emails a day and I have never emailed her before so she might not have been expecting it. I am now worried she may not have seen the email. It's important to me that she reads my apology. Will I look desperate texting her just to go hey, I emailed you an apology and just wanted to make sure you got it? I want to reconcile but I am playing things cool by keeping no contact and not asking to get back together since she broke things off. It's bothering me a lot the possibility that she may not have seen my apology.
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Trust me - if she gets a lot of emails, and she is used to looking at her inbox - she WILL have seen it - and read it. You are not wondering whether she got it. You are desperately hoping for a reply. You broke No Contact - but she's maintaining it. You really need to read the NC Guide (in my signature) all the way through. Twice. And stick to it - especially the bits about deleting all possible ways, means and avenues of being able to contact her, and vice-versa. 1
BC1980 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 What is your main motive for sending the apology? Probably to stay in her good graces, so she might want you back in the future. Yes, you will look pestering and desperate by sending her a text to ask her to read the apology. Sending the apology was bad enough. What did you do that was so bad that she needed an apology? I'm guessing not much.
bathtub-row Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 If she got it, then great. If she didn't, then maybe it's the universe looking out for you. In the great scheme of things, your email probably won't change anything. If the two of you get back together, the email won't make that much of a difference one way or another. You're just trying to back-peddle and show that you're a good guy. She already knows you and you really don't need to say all that. Give her some space for two or three months and then contact her. If she's going to miss you, you need to let her do just that. The best thing to do is assume that she got the email and carry on. The what ifs will make you nuts because there's nothing you can do about it. If you want to know if your emails are being seen, get an email tracker like HubSpot. That way, you have a pretty good idea if someone has at least seen your email or not.
d0nnivain Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 If she is an EX, she probably hasn't read your apology but even if she has, she no longer cares about you, your feelings, or your apology. For her so much as acknowledging that she received it would be a breach of NC. Whether she read it or not, it doesn't change the fact that you are broken up. Deep down, you really sent it because you were secretly hoping she'd read it & fall back in love with you. That plan did not work. Plan B must be you working to heal from the relationship because reconciliation is not in the cards. Sorry.
basil67 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 By explaining your side of things in the email, it's highly likely that she would have viewed this as you trying to further cement your position in the argument. It's a move that will see your email be deleted. An apology is very much watered down when it's given with explanations as to why you did what you did. 2
privategal Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 We broke up 3 weeks ago today and I went into no contact immediately. 3 days ago I decided to break no contact to send her a simple email, just apologising for our last argument as I wanted to explain my side and say sorry as well. I didn't ask for another chance or tell her I love her. I ended by wishing her luck etc. I have not received a response. She receives a lot emails a day and I have never emailed her before so she might not have been expecting it. I am now worried she may not have seen the email. It's important to me that she reads my apology. Will I look desperate texting her just to go hey, I emailed you an apology and just wanted to make sure you got it? I want to reconcile but I am playing things cool by keeping no contact and not asking to get back together since she broke things off. It's bothering me a lot the possibility that she may not have seen my apology. I got an apology like yours. I didnt buy thr sincerity truthfully but even if I did I wsnted to let it be closure and not write back. I ended up writing back (in the interest of maturity and being the bigger person "I accept your apology) Then I wished for no more contact. Trust me if she is in touch with her email....she got it. She doesnt know what to say or has nothing to say. Texting or more contact looks desperate and pushes them away more. Ball is in her court . let it be.
todreaminblue Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 sending emails is a sure fire way to never know for sure........i dont know if you should send another.i have to ask before the fight did you email each other often......and if so did she reply or get them then......you should follow your heart with this..i think it is always best to say sorry in person...and let that sorry come from the heart and seen in the eyes.....but thats my opinion..in future you might consider saying sorry in person... if you do see her again maybe you should try my suggestion....deb
Author likeahawk Posted May 2, 2016 Author Posted May 2, 2016 So we had a big argument and she dumped me. I went no contact for three weeks. I then decided to write her an apology email, just a few lines long, explaining my side of the argument and expressing regret etc. Nothing emotional or asking for her back. A week later she sent me a text thanking me for email and telling me that she misses me. This started a text conversation that lasted a few days as we were taking our time replying. She told me she hasn't moved on and was keen to clarify if I have moved on. She was still extremely angry about how things ended. Over the course of our texts she gradually calmed down and accepted my apologies. Told me she really misses me etc. At the end she said it's best we don't stay in contact. I said fine and gave her a short goodbye. To my surprise 5 minutes later she text me saying she'll always love me for the things I did for her and I made her happy. And she has blocked things out but talking to me now it's making her deal with emotions she tried to hide. I gave her a short polite reply, thinking she still doesn't want to talk. She sent me another emotional text which I replied to this morning. And then she texted afterwards saying we should be friends who still speak, but not too much. That was all her idea not mine. I would like to reconcile with her. Ordinarily I would go no contact as that seems to be the golden rule as it helps you move on and as a bonus your ex may come back. But it seems like she really did block me out when in no contact and only processed things when I talked to her over text lately? I replied to her friendship request with sure, just message me whenever and told her to have a nice day and she replied back with you too and a smiley face. How often should I contact her? Should I let her contact me? I messed the relationship up. I know staying friends medium/long term is a bad idea, but in the short term could it help us to reconcile?
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 No staying friends won't help you reconcile. It will only delay your healing process. She doesn't want to reconcile. The one who says No always controls. She was polite. She chose to remember the good things. That does not mean that she wants to continue to date the guy she had the fight with who made her very angry. You should not try to contact her; she blocked you because she does not want to hear from you. Take her at her word. 1
LD1990 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 She got exactly what she wanted out of the text conversation. She got the ego boost of knowing you're still interested in her and haven't moved on (don't buy that BS she's feeding you about her not moving on either, people often lie about that), and she now gets to use you as her emotional support/back up plan. Guys often get the idea that being friends with a girl is the golden ticket to being with her. It almost never works. NC is the way to go here if you want to heal from this breakup. Odds are you aren't going to get her back and trying would be a waste of time, but if you really want to try, you'll have a much better shot if you don't pretend to be her friend and instead give her the cold shoulder until she's more receptive to your advances.
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