Boy without a clue Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 I really need someones advice. I want to break up with my girlfriend. I dont want to be with her. I want to break up with her because she has hurt me by cheating on me on her birthday. This was a while back, but i promised that i forgive her for that and we will start over and see what happens. I want to break up with her because i found out she hangs out with the guy that she cheated with. I just think that is disrespectful. I have let her know that but at first she accuses me of being overly sensitive and I have no right to tell her who she can and cant hang out with. In anycase, I dont want to deal with this bull anymore, but there is one thing that is stopping me. Well, two things. She is suicidal and clinically depressed. I havent told her that i want to break up, not yet.We spoke a few minutes ago and she was planning on killing herself. She didnt say when, but im worried outta my mind.If i break up with her, then she is going to go beserk and might just do something stupid. I dont need to feel anymore guilt and i dont want to feel as if her blood is on my hands. Any insight would be great.
d'Arthez Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 That is a very tough situation to be in. Hopefully your girlfriend is on medication, and in therapy, otherwise she is making things a lot harder on herself, and on you. The more support she has, the smaller the chance is that she might do something stupid, without other people noticing it in time. If she is not, I would strongly suggest that you suggest to her / her parents to consider therapy and medication. As for the way you should approach your gf it is hard to suggest a course which is free of hazards. Has she been emotionally manipulative before? Some people threaten with suicide to get attention, without really having the intention to commit suicide. This does not mean, that you should not take her threats seriously. Again, the best thing you can do is get her into therapy. If she is already in therapy, does she have beneficial conversations with the therapist, or is she just spending time there? You don't formally have an obligation to stay with her. But I know that the psychological obligation to her does exist. But you are not responsible for her happiness. She is. And of course, suffering from depression is no justification to treat someone poorly. Of course you don't want a bad breakup with her. How many people around her know that she is suicidal, and clinically depressive? If everyone knows it is a lot easier for those around her to help her cope with a break-up. If but few people know, then you might consider ways to gather support for her. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind in the course of the following, days, weeks and perhaps even months, on your relationship. But words once said cannot be easily taken back, so thread very carefully. But most of all, if everything is in place, and you decide to break up with her, keep calm conversations with her, about the reasons you give, and why you think this relationship can't work anymore. Remember, you are not responsible for her happiness, nor for the courses of actions she undertakes. She is. And don't let guilt or threats of suicide, cause you to stay. You did not make her depressive. And she did not choose to be depressive. You are a boyfriend, not a person's guardian angel. Good luck to you and your gf.
AndrewJ Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 Shizer Sounds tough mate, I would talk to her about her behaviour to make her realise what u are going through. Sounds like she needs support at this point tin time in her life. Thats a tough one
sanne Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 Cheating absolutely destroys a relationship. I'd say there is a .00001% chance of things working out, and that's only if your married. It's just unacceptable for this selfish bitch to not only cheat on you, but to still hangout with the guy she cheated on you with. Does she not have any care for your feelings whatsoever? Nobody has to put up with this kind of bs, and NO GIRL is worth this much trouble. There are better catches out there man, start fishing.
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