freebird31 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Question: Why would an ex reach out and say sorry to you after years of not speaking, after they just recently had a break up with their new GF? Any thoughts?
Author freebird31 Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 My first thought was that maybe he got a taste of what a broken heart felt like, felt really guilty, and reached out to me to apologize.
ManyDissapoint Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Some people are not able to empathize with the pain they cause in others until someone creates that same sort of pain in them. At which point they have a 'what have I done' moment and feel guilt. That's what I think happened here. It's a small consolation breadcrumb I suppose.
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 I've had this happen to me, and in my case, it was a pre-emptive attempt to re-trace old ground and see 'what are the chances of getting back with her, because I miss sex....' Be cautious if he contacts you again. You could be a rebound familiar face.... I mean, better the devil you know, right? 1
Author freebird31 Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 ^ I also thought that maybe it was a rebound kind of thing.
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Good. All the more cause to be cautious too. Don't get caught up in that. If both your and my instincts are right (and we could always be wrong, ok?) he's looking for the "sympathy-f**k".... 1
Author freebird31 Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 Good. All the more cause to be cautious too. Don't get caught up in that. If both your and my instincts are right (and we could always be wrong, ok?) he's looking for the "sympathy-f**k".... I didnt think of it as a sympathy f**k..i dont think he would go as far to reach out to me and actually think he would have a chance at that. Who knows though. If he does reach out again, I want to ignore it. I wanted to share what was actually said. But I didnt want to risk my identity just in case
Author freebird31 Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 ^ but yeah defintely think there was a possibility he may want to have gotten back together...or thought about it, but for the wrong reasons of course. Me just being a rebound for him. As you mentioned
mightycpa Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 I would think that the answer would be right there in the actual apology. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Its called karma Er.....no, it isn't. You can call it 'come-uppance', just deserts, payback or rough justice. But it's not Karma, because actually, Karma isn't any of those things....
confuseddddgirl Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 obviously he realized that she wasn't you and now he's coming back. typical. dont fall for it !
Author freebird31 Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 obviously he realized that she wasn't you and now he's coming back. typical. dont fall for it ! I'd like to believe this was true for my ego's sake, but my instincts don't say this is why he reached out. Although its not ruled out completely.
BC1980 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 Something prompted him apologizing after this many years. As you suggested, it might be that he got a taste of what heartbreak feels like. What did the actual apology say?
Author freebird31 Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 Have you responded to him or ignored? I responded to him telling him I appreciate the apology. Something short that didnt warrant a response back. But he replied again. I didnt respond to that last message. But he ended the last message with: " didnt think you were going to respond thanks for accepting it. hope youre doing well in school!" i was like....okay? My friend suggested that if i dont want to hear from him anymore ever again, to just let him know so
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 No, just don't respond any more. So he's apologised, right? That seemed to be his objective. You acknowledged his apology, right? That seemed an appropriate end to the matter. Then....? He texts again. For no reason really.... except to see if he can push the door open a little wider. He's thinking "Oh good, she replied! Maybe we can get back on a friendly footing now...." Don't be surprised if he tries again and/or persists. The important thing now is to understand that anything from him, from now on, is him 'putting out feelers'. Do not, under any circumstance, reply or send him anything. Leave it be. Go back to NC, stay NC and no matter how determined he is, ignore him. TOTALLY. You need to block him completely, though. That would be better.....
Author freebird31 Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 No, just don't respond any more. So he's apologised, right? That seemed to be his objective. You acknowledged his apology, right? That seemed an appropriate end to the matter. Then....? He texts again. For no reason really.... except to see if he can push the door open a little wider. He's thinking "Oh good, she replied! Maybe we can get back on a friendly footing now...." Don't be surprised if he tries again and/or persists. The important thing now is to understand that anything from him, from now on, is him 'putting out feelers'. Do not, under any circumstance, reply or send him anything. Leave it be. Go back to NC, stay NC and no matter how determined he is, ignore him. TOTALLY. You need to block him completely, though. That would be better..... Yeah defintely. Im over this guy and this situation. It has been so many years now, and....its still going on? lol Is this guy for real? I will most defintely ignore any attempts at contact in the future.
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