Groovy Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 O.K, my guy has had 18 beers the past 3 days. I just recently noticed how much he drinks each weekend. He is 6' 8" but still..... I care about him but sent him home because I was annoyed with it all. It seems excessive to me especially when he knows it's a concern of mine. He is 35 and entitled to drink just like I am able to decide what I need and want in my partner. I am wondering if I am being a control freak or if this is a number most men would consider excessive. I know, it matters on the person and what they want. But still, I'd like to hear some numbers of what people consider "the norm".
nightwish33147 Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 i think ur right u should lok out 4 him and also have him stop drinking it can fck him up in the future my stepfather drinks his 54 and he has arthourities*,high blood pressure , and have mood swings alot, and one night he can hurt u being drunk
BigB Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 well, it's good that your looking out for him. Be careful though that it doesn't cause a fight with him thinking your being controlling or something. Every weekend isn't good, he should lay off once in a while. for me, at a Friday or Saturday night party, I'll drink about 12-14 beers a night if I'm not driving or working the next day.
orta Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 A six-pack a day, for three days in a row, is something I would consider excessive. I occasionally will down an entire bottle of wine, or an entire six-pack, but this is something I usually do once a month if at all. It's fun sometimes.
Author Groovy Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 He is 6' 8" so it's not as much as if I were to do it and it's just on the weekends! Most weekends it's 3 or 4 beers and when he goes out for lunch at work 1 or 2 beers. I get drunk in front of him, but I drink like once a month! I got into a terrible argument about it all on my birthday unfortunately The issue is still there but we talked about it. I guess I didn't bring it up in an appropriate way and he needs to understand where I am coming from (especially in a family with drug and alcohol problems). Time will tell if we are right or wrong for each other. I am going slow and taking my sweet time! WTF is it with men and beer? Or is it just all these damn Tampa Bay guys!
scarlyjones Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy He is 6' 8" so it's not as much as if I were to do it and it's just on the weekends! Most weekends it's 3 or 4 beers and when he goes out for lunch at work 1 or 2 beers. I get drunk in front of him, but I drink like once a month! I got into a terrible argument about it all on my birthday unfortunately The issue is still there but we talked about it. I guess I didn't bring it up in an appropriate way and he needs to understand where I am coming from (especially in a family with drug and alcohol problems). Time will tell if we are right or wrong for each other. I am going slow and taking my sweet time! WTF is it with men and beer? Or is it just all these damn Tampa Bay guys! The common misconception of alcoholism is that alcoholics drink everyday. Im one. Im recovered over a year now. Alcoholics can BE alcoholics even if they drink once a month. Its HOW MUCH they drink when they drink. And its also how they act when they drink. If he is unable to stop at just a few once he gets going, then Id say he has a problem. I dont mean to sound crass,....but....lmao.....I just find it funny to hear someone ask if 18 beers in two or three days is excessive or not. Yes,...it is.
scarlyjones Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones The common misconception of alcoholism is that alcoholics drink everyday. Im one. Im recovered over a year now. Alcoholics can BE alcoholics even if they drink once a month. Its HOW MUCH they drink when they drink. And its also how they act when they drink. If he is unable to stop at just a few once he gets going, then Id say he has a problem. I dont mean to sound crass,....but....lmao.....I just find it funny to hear someone ask if 18 beers in two or three days is excessive or not. Yes,...it is. I just noticed that you posted that he drinks during workdays? While at lunch? What kind of job permits that? Uh,....Id say this guy has a drinking problem FOR SURE. If he has to drink one or two AT LUNCH during work hours,....he has a problem. That is not normal. Basically, by doing the math you have layed out here for us,...he is drinking atleast 28 beers a week. ....................Seriously,.....wheres the question??
BigB Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones I just find it funny to hear someone ask if 18 beers in two or three days is excessive or not. Yes,...it is. I disagree, I think it all depends on the person, how often they drink, and can they go without it if needed. When you a large guy (as I am, and as this guy is) It takes more beers to get a buzz than your average person. I have to drink a 6 pack in about an hours time to get a buzz, to get drunk, I need more than 12. I don't drink very often though. I used to, but I stopped as a means to loose weight. I can name plenty of times where I went camping, or swimming at the river with friends and drank more than 24 beers in 1 day(I can do that without getting sick or anything because I'm 6' 290lbs), I don't find that excessive unless it's a regular thing. For me that's a couple times a year. I guess everyone has a different idea of excessive, I know a girl who get's loopy drink off 2 glasses of wine, so for her, 4 beers would probably be excessive.
scarlyjones Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Why do you NEED a buzz every weekend? Plus,...did you read where this guy is drinking one or two on his lunch breaks at work??
BigB Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones Why do you NEED a buzz every weekend? Plus,...did you read where this guy is drinking one or two on his lunch breaks at work?? I don't think anyone needs a buzz every weekend, I stick to about once a month, or less. And yes, I think this guy is drinking to much. Drinking during the work day is a bad sign, and can get you fired, depending on where you work. I used to work in a wine shop and we were allowed to drink at work, just not be drunk at work , needless to say most of the people who worked there were alcoholics. I sometimes will have a beer with lunch on a work day, but only on Fridays, only 1 beer, and only on a special occasion (ie: a co-workers birthday toast) I was just saying that IMO 18 beers over 2-3 days shouldn't automatically be deemed excessive in every case. It depends on the person, situation, etc.
Author Groovy Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 I agree with BigB. Obviously I am concerned or I wouldn't post. I attended AA for a long time 10 years ago to sort things out in my life and my families, so I know about alcoholism. It's a hard thing to define. My boyfriend doesn't get drunk. He is 6' 8" as I stated and weighs about as much as BigB, 275. My boyfriend is also a teacher so get's out of school at 1:00 for the summers and goes out with the teachers after and sometimes returns to grade papers or make lesson plans after the kids are gone. He doesn't drink AT work. I think the past few days have been excessive. I shared this and like BigB said he felt "controlled" by me counting and pointing a finger at him. But now that we've talked more he understands it's just a concern. Not something I have accepted or rejected but need to look at in time to come.
Humbledog Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 He is an educator w/summers somewhat off!!! Time to stretch, relax, open horizons a little!! That's all you had to say as his profession requires dedication and responsibility!!! But it's O.k. TO PLAY....... everyone has to relax sometime!! You are his woman, and it's also O.K. for you to sometimes put us guys back on track as we sometimes forget when enough is enough especially whe we get around our Buddies!!!
BigB Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Just a suggestion, maybe schedule some more activities for the two of you on the weekends that don't include drinking, it might get him to drink a little less without him even noticing.
BigB Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy I think the past few days have been excessive. I shared this and like BigB said he felt "controlled" by me counting and pointing a finger at him. But now that we've talked more he understands it's just a concern. Not something I have accepted or rejected but need to look at in time to come. IMO a few days of excessive drinking is fine, as long as it's not a regular thing. We all have times when we party it up for a few days, birthdays, 4th of July, etc. As long as it's not every weekend, everyday, affecting health, job, safety, etc. I don't see a problem. A camping trip I took a couple years ago comes to mind, Me and 4 of my boys went camping for 10 days. It was the big summer vacation for all of us. Our "2weeks". We wanted to live it up hard and fast. So we hit Reno for 2 days, gambled, ate, and drank ourselves silly all night. Then we went camping for then next 8 days. I was probably drunk everyday for the whole 10 days. Do I see a problem with that? no. I was safe, no one was driving, no one was drinking themselves sick, and it was a one time thing.
moimeme Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 I cannot for the life of me see why getting drunk is considered entertainment. There are so many more interesting things to do.
Humbledog Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme I cannot for the life of me see why getting drunk is considered entertainment. There are so many more interesting things to do. I see alcohol as a sensory enhancement as in wine with food and the enjoyment of the relaxing sensation it can provide in a group enjoying conversation by a fire.... I agree that there are so many other pleasures in life but It's just another of the many that are availiable to us to experience in a positive manner!!! Not that I have not hugged a toilet.........
scarlyjones Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 This guy is a teacher. Would any of YOU like to know if your childs teacher was going out at lunch and having two or three beers and then returning to TEACH your kids for the remainder of the day? You say that he doesnt drink all the time just for a few days then not for a while. You also said the last three days hes been hittin it pretty hard. THAT IS CALLED A BENDER. Binge drinking. That is what alcoholics are known for. Binge drinking. And just so you know,......an alkies normal "binge" is THREE DAYS.
Author Groovy Posted June 20, 2005 Author Posted June 20, 2005 I made this post out of a concern not a decision he is an alky, which is pretty far blown out of the picture I have drawn here. FYI, if you read my post he is not teaching kids after he goes out. You believe a person can be an alky without getting intoxicated? So everyone who has a glass of wine at dinner needs AA among all these other drinkers out there who use alcohol for various reasons? I don't see that. And in order to define something as a binge I'd say you need to be drunk. If I enjoy 2 1/2 beers in the day on a weekend away am I a binge drinker? Because due to my body weight and his it would be the same.
Humbledog Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones This guy is a teacher. Would any of YOU like to know if your childs teacher was going out at lunch and having two or three beers and then returning to TEACH your kids for the remainder of the day? You say that he doesnt drink all the time just for a few days then not for a while. You also said the last three days hes been hittin it pretty hard. THAT IS CALLED A BENDER. Binge drinking. That is what alcoholics are known for. Binge drinking. And just so you know,......an alkies normal "binge" is THREE DAYS. Here you go again!!!!!! I am supporting educators for a reason as I have been associated w/ the system forever and have rarely ran into individuals that have not entered this profession without thought and dedication knowing they are influencing young minds. Having a Private life after your year is done is acceptable and truly does not end but any type of conscience exposure that is unbecoming of your rolemodel position is out of line, this is a clear line that is understood w/ educators. Scarly,YOU ARE REALLY RUNNING RAMPANT IN YOUR LACK OF UNDERSTANDING.... As usual... Slow down Scarly.... Listen..... A teacher is a public servant and in a position that is not easily granted. Scarly He get's 3 months off..... That started 2 weeks ago!!!! Vacation + testosterone + 18 BEERS ONCE IN A WHILE... Lighten the F@$K up!!!.... Sell your no tolerance elsewhere!!!
Humbledog Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 By the way Scarly, you have mixed up posts ... it was not him that has beers at lunch as that would be absurd as an educator!!! Slow doooowwwwnnn!!
Humbledog Posted June 20, 2005 Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy He is 6' 8" so it's not as much as if I were to do it and it's just on the weekends! Most weekends it's 3 or 4 beers and when he goes out for lunch at work 1 or 2 beers. I get drunk in front of him, but I drink like once a month! I got into a terrible argument about it all on my birthday unfortunately The issue is still there but we talked about it. I guess I didn't bring it up in an appropriate way and he needs to understand where I am coming from (especially in a family with drug and alcohol problems). Time will tell if we are right or wrong for each other. I am going slow and taking my sweet time! WTF is it with men and beer? Or is it just all these damn Tampa Bay guys! now I See the confusion, she said the weekends "just on the weekends". Teachers are off on weekends.... that was what I read.....
scarlyjones Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy He is 6' 8" so it's not as much as if I were to do it and it's just on the weekends! Most weekends it's 3 or 4 beers and when he goes out for lunch at work 1 or 2 beers. I get drunk in front of him, but I drink like once a month! I got into a terrible argument about it all on my birthday unfortunately The issue is still there but we talked about it. I guess I didn't bring it up in an appropriate way and he needs to understand where I am coming from (especially in a family with drug and alcohol problems). Time will tell if we are right or wrong for each other. I am going slow and taking my sweet time! WTF is it with men and beer? Or is it just all these damn Tampa Bay guys! This is what I meant....
Author Groovy Posted June 22, 2005 Author Posted June 22, 2005 I'd still say the viewpoint is a little unyielding based on the fact I mentioned he does not teach kids after 1 PM, but sometimes goes back to clean the classroom or may work on lesson plans at home (and 2 beers at lunch doesn't affect cognition, so if he's not around kids why does it harm anything)? I guess I got my own answers after hearing you define something that seemed pretty overboard. I guess we are all entitled to our viewpoints though......
scarlyjones Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy I'd still say the viewpoint is a little unyielding based on the fact I mentioned he does not teach kids after 1 PM, but sometimes goes back to clean the classroom or may work on lesson plans at home (and 2 beers at lunch doesn't affect cognition, so if he's not around kids why does it harm anything)? I guess I got my own answers after hearing you define something that seemed pretty overboard. I guess we are all entitled to our viewpoints though...... You ARE aware that he has YOU making his excuses for him now, dont you? Honestly,..........what would immediately go through your mind if you heard that someone had 2 or 3 beers EVERYDAY while working? But here you are saying this is normal because this is your husband or boyfriend.
Humbledog Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Christ Groovy!!! Scarly reminds me of one of those Alien movies where ya think it's dead, than in jumps out of the damn closet!!!!!!!!
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