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Dating a guy who won't stop smoking?


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Posted

Yeah, life is indeed a crapshoot and none of us knows when our number is up. That accepted, it's widely recognized that nicotine is a very addictive substance, especially for those with addictive personalities (this guy unknown in that realm) and other stuff in the delivery system can cause health issues and be generally uncomfortable to downright unhealthy (for some) to be around.

 

I grew up in it with two parents who were 2 pack a day smokers. The one who chose to quit at 47 lived to nearly 90 and was healthy most of that time. The other smoked until the day he died at 69. I share some of the OP's concerns about compatible lifestyles since I'm a lifelong non-smoker. I'm not rabid anti-smoking but probably couldn't live with a smoker as a partner and have always dated non-smokers and married one. I think it's healthy to be clear and unwavering on such aspects. Either it's OK or it's not. When younger, I might have been OK, being more benefit of the doubt. Being older and more cynical, nah, I'd rather be alone. OP has her own boundaries, not to mention boundaries on other relationship-oriented behaviors.

Posted
Yeah, life is indeed a crapshoot and none of us knows when our number is up. That accepted, it's widely recognized that nicotine is a very addictive substance, especially for those with addictive personalities (this guy unknown in that realm) and other stuff in the delivery system can cause health issues and be generally uncomfortable to downright unhealthy (for some) to be around.

 

I grew up in it with two parents who were 2 pack a day smokers. The one who chose to quit at 47 lived to nearly 90 and was healthy most of that time. The other smoked until the day he died at 69. I share some of the OP's concerns about compatible lifestyles since I'm a lifelong non-smoker. I'm not rabid anti-smoking but probably couldn't live with a smoker as a partner and have always dated non-smokers and married one. I think it's healthy to be clear and unwavering on such aspects. Either it's OK or it's not. When younger, I might have been OK, being more benefit of the doubt. Being older and more cynical, nah, I'd rather be alone. OP has her own boundaries, not to mention boundaries on other relationship-oriented behaviors.

 

And hence why she should date other people and more compatible to her lifestyle. Good point Carhill.

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