bwin Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 I recently got dumped 2 months ago, the worst thing it was just after we went on a trip to celebrate our anniversary. She is the love of my life and I thought we would end up getting married. We were together for 2 years. When we broke up she told me that we should work on ourselves and that she wanted to stay in each others' lives. We ended up talking for 6 hours and I objected to being friends as I told her I didn't want to be strung along. She proceeded to reach out about unrelated topics the following days but I kept my responses short. I proceed to go NC and started hitting the gym and meeting new people (going to the gym and seeing progress is the best therapy). I also started drinking daily which is completely the wrong way to go but I am fighting the urges. I spoke to a mutual friend who told me after his gf (now wife) broke up with him, he fought for their relationship and got married in the end. I had another mutual friend tell me it's ok for me to reach out to her. My approach was that I would only respond to her reaching out and never contact her first. Fast forward, it was my birthday recently and our and she wished me. I decided to respond jovially and we ended up meeting for lunch. She asked if I was dating and she said she wasn't even though she had been asked out (testing me?). The lunch went really well and I could see the signs that she was attracted, touching her hair, close body contact etc.. (I had lost weight and was much happier than I was before breaking up - I always seemed like I had the world on my shoulders). Before dropping her off I communicated I wanted to stay out of the friend zone by saying that I will always see her more than a friend and that I will always love her. She gave me a hug and left. We were meant to have dinner on Friday at mine as I had suggested it during our lunch. For the first time since the break up I reached out to her to confirm. She said it should be fine but would let me know. Fast forward to the present, she said she couldn't make dinner as she just found out about an event her friend wants her to go to. In the end we rescheduled to meeting each other on Monday but she suggested we also invite another friend but was thankfully unavailable (group meets will definitely put me in friend zone). I just want some opinions from the gurus out there, am I making a mistake by pursuing her? Should I only entertain her when she reaches out to me? Her cancelling dinner indicates to me that her interest is really low. On one hand my friend ended up getting his girl back and marrying her but on the other hand I don't want to end up in friend zone as I'd rather go NC, heal and move on. My heart is too fragile to go through rejection from the same person again
LostOnes05 Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 She cancels dinner and goes to something she was JUST invited to instead??! Then she suggested a group deal??...nah, don't entertain this foolishness. You're going nowhere fast. Her cancellation for something that "suddenly came up" was definitely an indication. Go no contact and make your life a bit easier.
Author bwin Posted April 21, 2016 Author Posted April 21, 2016 Yeah, i think I already knew the answer when I posted this. If she was interested in any reconciliation she would do anything to spend time with me alone (like when we first met).
Kelsy Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Yep, just keep yourself busy and dont give her any power. It hurts but thats the best thing you can do yourself. Of course she wants you to want her. Please täke your power back, its more attractive and you will feel better later on. Stay busy, have fun. Dont show her your real feelings and give the feeling she can loose you forever.
privategal Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 I recently got dumped 2 months ago, the worst thing it was just after we went on a trip to celebrate our anniversary. She is the love of my life and I thought we would end up getting married. We were together for 2 years. When we broke up she told me that we should work on ourselves and that she wanted to stay in each others' lives. We ended up talking for 6 hours and I objected to being friends as I told her I didn't want to be strung along. She proceeded to reach out about unrelated topics the following days but I kept my responses short. I proceed to go NC and started hitting the gym and meeting new people (going to the gym and seeing progress is the best therapy). I also started drinking daily which is completely the wrong way to go but I am fighting the urges. I spoke to a mutual friend who told me after his gf (now wife) broke up with him, he fought for their relationship and got married in the end. I had another mutual friend tell me it's ok for me to reach out to her. My approach was that I would only respond to her reaching out and never contact her first. Fast forward, it was my birthday recently and our and she wished me. I decided to respond jovially and we ended up meeting for lunch. She asked if I was dating and she said she wasn't even though she had been asked out (testing me?). The lunch went really well and I could see the signs that she was attracted, touching her hair, close body contact etc.. (I had lost weight and was much happier than I was before breaking up - I always seemed like I had the world on my shoulders). Before dropping her off I communicated I wanted to stay out of the friend zone by saying that I will always see her more than a friend and that I will always love her. She gave me a hug and left. We were meant to have dinner on Friday at mine as I had suggested it during our lunch. For the first time since the break up I reached out to her to confirm. She said it should be fine but would let me know. Fast forward to the present, she said she couldn't make dinner as she just found out about an event her friend wants her to go to. In the end we rescheduled to meeting each other on Monday but she suggested we also invite another friend but was thankfully unavailable (group meets will definitely put me in friend zone). I just want some opinions from the gurus out there, am I making a mistake by pursuing her? Should I only entertain her when she reaches out to me? Her cancelling dinner indicates to me that her interest is really low. On one hand my friend ended up getting his girl back and marrying her but on the other hand I don't want to end up in friend zone as I'd rather go NC, heal and move on. My heart is too fragile to go through rejection from the same person again Zero hardcore nc UNTIL SHE says clearly "I want you back" until then....NO.
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