TheBathWater Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 (edited) I broke up with my ex two months ago after I found out that after only two months together she was setting up a date with a customer from her workplace. I had suspected for a few days something was going on and asked her if there was someone else. She denied it. I decided to break up with her anyway because of other issues in the relationship. During our breakup conversation I asked to see her phone (I figured I had nothing to lose at this point) and sure enough, the very first text I saw was with the new guy she was planning to meet. I had also caught her in a car with another guy a few days prior but didn't make a big deal out of it, and she swore it was innocent though others questioned this. She works at a cafe just 100 steps from my apartment. I was buying something from my local convenience store tonight when the cashier commented he saw my ex today at her workplace. Stupidly, I asked how she is and if she ever mentions me. He said she doesn't say anything to him, but that he heard from one of her coworkers that I'm "a psycho lunatic who was checking her phone." I was absolutely crushed, though not surprised to hear she wasn't telling everyone the whole story, including how she humiliated me on Valentine's Day, gave me a yeast infection, cheated on her last boyfriend too, had poor communication skills, weak boundaries, manipulated me to tell her I love her and then never saying it back again, etc... What am I supposed to do about this? I don't want to contact her or confront her coworker; I don't feel it's necessary and it won't change anything. I know what happened, and that's what matters. But to know I'm being talked about this way in my own neighborhood is absolutely devastating. It feels like just another punch to the gut on top of everything else I went through with this woman. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Edited April 21, 2016 by TunaInTheBrine
Author TheBathWater Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 Man, there is so much feedback and advice here I don't know what to do with it! lol.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Probably the only thing that will fix it is time and distance. Liars fool a lot of people for a little bit. Some people are always fooled. Others are practically never fooled by them. At least you are free of her and some time down the road you will be open to a relationship with respect.
ManyDissapoint Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 It hurts because she was someone you held in high estimation. That estimation was inflated due to your love for her, I'll wager. She's re-writing the past to put herself in a favorable light here. It's not fair but the truth is that anyone who knows her well enough will already suspect her version of events is not what she's making it out to be. I know this pain and I sometimes wonder about the 'stories' that my ex told her friends and family 5000 miles away and it bothers me that she could be demonizing me. Move on and those who know you will believe you and trust you. Realize that she's a silly little girl very simply lying to get what she wants. Consider her as the child she is.
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