chrisftw Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 I'm looking for introspection on this, because the better I can understand these emotions the faster I can get past them. Long story short, ex cheated on her fiance with me, then on me with her fiance and we've been pretty limited contact/no contact for 2 years since. the ex would send breadcrumb text's out over the 2 years but i always responded coldly, then finally the messages stopped. i noticed recently there was an uptick and I knew exactly what was going on. She was looking to swing to another branch yet again. asking things like if she wasn't with so and so would I want to try again etc... after dismissing that she had told me a few weeks later that she had met a guy who was very much like me in personality. she called him a "mini me" I always thought it was strange that she found a guy just like me. but now she's cheating on her fiance again but with this new guy. Now for me it's not so much that I don't have her but now I'm feeling that maybe it was MY FAULT that she cheated and left. Because clearly she "likes" my personality. Also I had resigned myself to believe that she was indeed in love with her ex and that was that. but now I'm coming to find her going back to him CLEARLY had nothing to do with love and she's with another guy. I think my core issue is the fact that she's with another guy LIKE me but not me. perhaps I'm torn between wanting and not wanting I'm confused at why this is effecting me so much. I've not spoken to her for almost 3 weeks and i find myself more consumed with why I'm feeling this way than not talking to her.
Toodaloo Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 Nah. She just likes chasing new tail and likes attention. Next time she sends a message respond as thus... "Look, while I harbour you no ill will would you please just f*** off and leave me alone. This constant need for attention and validation from me is really getting on my nerves now. Its been X years since we broke up. Just move on and get on with life. I have. All the best." It is not your fault she cheated. Did you pull her knickers down and put the other guys penis into her? So no its not your fault and yes clearly she has a habit of doing it not just to you but to others as well. You would be far better off blocking and deleting as per the no contact rules. Its affecting you because she is manipulating you and you are allowing her to play these games. Cut the damned cord. She will be fine. You will then have a chance to move on and forget about her.
GorillaTheater Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 The question you need to be asking yourself is why you would possibly want a woman who's as loyal as a pit viper. What you need to be doing instead is congratulating yourself on dodging a bullet. That, and stopping communications with her all together. 1
Author chrisftw Posted April 20, 2016 Author Posted April 20, 2016 Nah. She just likes chasing new tail and likes attention. Next time she sends a message respond as thus... "Look, while I harbour you no ill will would you please just f*** off and leave me alone. This constant need for attention and validation from me is really getting on my nerves now. Its been X years since we broke up. Just move on and get on with life. I have. All the best." It is not your fault she cheated. Did you pull her knickers down and put the other guys penis into her? So no its not your fault and yes clearly she has a habit of doing it not just to you but to others as well. You would be far better off blocking and deleting as per the no contact rules. Its affecting you because she is manipulating you and you are allowing her to play these games. Cut the damned cord. She will be fine. You will then have a chance to move on and forget about her. Its hard to think that she's manipulating me by not even being around me. If that's the case i really have to commend her for slowly chipping down the wall of put up against her. last txt i sent to her. I said black and white "you're dangerous because you know exactly what to say. you make people believe they're in a book, you bang like a pornstar and then when you have the guy you rip away all affection and start testing the waters of how far you can go and how willing the guy is to let you do it. If someone challenges you, you find it a turn on but at the same time look for easier prey. Good luck with your new boy toy." all she could say to that was "i'm not trying to sleep around" and i didn't respond. and you're right every single boyfriend she's had she's cheated on. her longest relationship has been 4 years but in that time she's cheated numerous times. She typically meets new guys in the guy's she's with social circle. So she uses the men she dates to meet new friends and through that network develops an emotional attachment to her next guy. it doesn't happen instantly she sets the ground work for "potentials" months, even years in advance. And she always maintains a flirty vibe with her potentials so they don't friendzone her and it rest dangerously on the "is she or isn't she" zone. I firmly believe it could be my sudden lack of options that has drawn me back towards her, even if superficially.
Zahara Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 I think my core issue is the fact that she's with another guy LIKE me but not me. I think your core issue is your lack of self-respect. 1
Satu Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 People who behave like this have absolutely no idea what love is.
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