Do we stand a chance?

[AuburnGreen]

My boyfriend of three and a half years (I guess I should start getting used to saying "ex," but it hurts too much right now) dumped me on Friday night. I use the term "dumped" because that's exactly how it feels... like I've been kicked out of a moving vehicle at 100mph and left for dead on a highway in the middle of nowhere... He asked me to leave our apartment (a nice loft we've lived in together for two years of our relationship) and now I've been completely uprooted and am now sleeping on a too-small couch at my mother's house living out of trash bags and reduced to taking showers and doing laundry at a friend's house since my mother has neither a working shower or washing machine. I feel abandoned, pathetic, and hopeless at this point...

 

We've had our ups and downs, like most relationships, but even on our worst days I never thought we'd never get past it or that we weren't meant to be. Our fights usually centered around him not meeting my needs, passion and attentiveness wise as he'd go through boughts of low sex drive or get obsessive with a video game to where I felt neglected, or me being too pressuring/controlling/naggy about his actions/choices.

 

It's feels uncomfortable yet theraputic to put this out there so I guess I should be honest with myself and you all and say that a lot of the problems we had would repetitively crop up due to his reoccuring bad habits like excessive drinking and random drug use every now and again.

 

My boyfriend enjoys drinking beer and so up until the end of last year he would only have two or three beers once or twice a week, usually after work on the weekends when his job (he works in a restaurant in back of house) had it's longer days. This never bothered me much because when he would only drink those few he would only be tipsy for awhile and then either go to sleep or the effect would wear off and he'd be fine. He's was never an aggressive drinker either and was usually especially affectionate towards me when tipsy. However, before he got his restaurant job in August he was working at a gas station right before summer and that's about when things started to turn. He failed out of school, lost his job, and then wrecked his car a week after that. That hit him pretty hard because his family was very proud that he was in college, he didn't have a means to support himself (or as he often put it... supporting "us") and he had to instead use the money he got from car insurance to pay his bills and his half of the rent for the summer until he could find a job. He managed to find a job within walking distance of our apartment which was a huge blessing but losing school hit him pretty hard because he felt like he had left his family and me down.

 

 

When he started working at the restaurant, that's when the bulk of our issues started to surface. The restaurant has a bar and it's employees are all heavy drinkers. Some of which even have DUI's (or two..) There are also a lot who are doing a number of different drugs. My boyfriend suffered a pain pill addiction and has smoked weed in his past. He's always been very open and honest with me about his past habits and so he was also very honest and open with me about the going on's of the establishment and he told me all about the things his coworkers were doing. He started to become really close with his coworkers and from there a lot of drama ensued. He started drinking more, enticed by his friends to constantly go out to the bar after work (he was getting off work at 2AM every night and not coming home until 3 or 4 in the morning... if that on some days) I started to become upset that he was drinking so much and would ask him to come home to spend time with me instead. We started fighting about it and thus he started sneaking off to the bar with his friends. Since the bar is within walking distance of our city apartment, I of course would walk over to the bar after a number of failed phone calls and unanswered texts and find him sitting there with two or three beers lined up infront of him. There were other times when I wouldn't go to the bar looking for him and he'd lie and say they closed late but I could smell the alcohol on his breath and could tell by the way he was acting that it was a lie so when I found him at the bar, I was more upset that he was lying and being dishonest.

 

I was open and willing to compromise and told him that I didn't care if he hung out with his friends and drank a few beers every once inawhile, I only cared if it was every single night or if he lied about it. He said he felt like he couldn't tell me or I'd "make" him stay home. I told him that if I were going to trust him, he'd have to trust me and just be open with me.

 

This worked for awhile and things got better for a bit. His drinking slowed down though he was still hanging out with his co-worker friends but instead of sneaking off to the bar, he was inviting me to come along or he would tell me he was going and only having one beer and then coming home. Then January happened.

 

January on his birthday he went to his work and drank at their bar and got so smashed that his coworker had to carry him home. The bartender, being his friend, didn't cut him off. He couldn't even stand up. I knew immediately that something else was going on. I went to the bathroom and came back to find him gone. I immediately went to his coworker friends and asked where he had went, they all refused to help me and said they had no idea. Turns out, he was actually in the kitchen with them stumbling around and being stupid. I coaxed him outside and noticed one of his pupils were MASSIVE and the other was normal sized. Something was very wrong. Knowing all of his coworkers do a number of drugs, I started trying to ask him what he had taken. He got mad and raged out, punching a wall and started yelling. None of his coworkers/friends would help me. He went back to the bar and I followed him, pleading for him to come home. He yelled at me, causing a scene and I yelled back out of fear and anger. At that point the bartender told me that I had five minutes to leave or he'd call the cops. I told him I needed to get my boyfriend home and he said "he doesn't want to leave!" I was so angry that NO ONE cared about his safety that I snapped and cussed out the bartender saying that someone had obviously drugged him. Finally I managed to get my boyfriend home and I had to all but baracade the door to get him to stay. I had to force him to lay down with me and I somehow got him asleep. Once asleep, I turned him over on his side and watched him all night to make sure he didn't suffocate on his own vomit. When I was holding him in his sleep, I felt something in his pockets. I reached in and pulled out not only a bag of weed but a ball of alluminum foil containing a thick, waxy like dark substance that had huge bites taken out of it. I was livid. The people he worked with not only let him over-drink but they gave him drugs too. He wasn't coherent enough to conscent! I was LIVID. Our city is riddled with cops and had he walked around downtown like he was, unable to even stand straight, they would have taken him immediately and he would have went to jail for a long time!

 

The next day when he was sober and puking his guts out, I took care of him. I washed his face, made sure he kept hydrated, and gave him medicine and told him of what he did the night before. He didn't want to hear it. He said "I don't want to know, stop talking about it." It wasn't fair to me. That night was the most terrifying night of my life and I had to be the only one to remember it? He needed to know what it was like so that he would never trust those people again! When I showed him the drugs they put in his pocket he was terrified and ashamed. He knew that could have been a lot of trouble and possibly the end of his life. He thankfully was off work for the next four days and in those four days, he didn't speak to any of his coworkers. He ignored their calls, their knocks on the door, all of it. And when he went to work the next week he kept his head down and didn't spend time with any of them.

 

He kept his focus on work after that and worked hard, moving up the ladder in his job. He stopped drinking as well and things were amazing. We were close, happy, and enjoying our time together and I trusted him more than ever. I felt like everything was going to be okay.

 

But of course, as time went on.. he forgave his coworkers and started hanging out with them again. Each time he spent time with them after work and started sneaking off to the bar again it would send me in a panic because I didn't know how they were going to bring him home. Was he going to be smashed like he was on his birthday? Is he doing drugs? I had the worst anxiety...

 

From there things would be up and down. When he wasn't drinking we were great and having fun. When he was drinking, we would fight because of my anxiety causing me to become controlling/fearful. I started telling him he needed to come home and that he shouldn't go to the bars or be drinking. I told him I was tired of him coming home every single night smelling like alcohol... etc. It got to the point where I asked him before he went to work if he was drinking that night and when he got off work I'd ask him if he drank. I could smell it on him, so I knew the truth, but he would tell me no until I badgered him enough to confess.

 

The week before he broke up with me he had drank a few beers every single night. I spoke up on it, saying he needed to cut back and I'd ask him before and after work about it too. The night he dumped me I had gotten all dressed up for him to get off work, in hopes that we'd spend some quality time together and that me being dressed up would encourage him to stay home and not go to the bar. When I met up with him, however, he had a friend who standing there and mentioned that he was going to join the other coworkers at the bar. My boyfriend, of course, asked if I wanted to go to which I replied I didn't really feel like it because I wanted to go home and hang out. He pleaded, saying it would be fun and that we could grab a few drinks but I stated we didn't really have the extra money to waste right now with bills coming up. I then asked if he was ready to go and he gave me a stern "no, I'm not actually..." but his friend spared me and said he was going to go ahead and leave. My boyfriend then followed me to the apartment where once inside all hell proceeded to break loose.

 

He said he was going to go to the bar anyway. I managed to keep unexpectedly cool and calmly stated that he had drank every single night so far and asked if we could just spend this one night together without him drinking. He then said that he's a grown man and can make his own decisions and that I can't control him. I tried to reason with him by once again stating my usual of "I don't care that you hang out with your friends and have a few beers every now and again, it only bothers me when you do it every single night." From that point, I'm not sure what happened but he ended up walking out and going to sit in his car for awhile. When he returned he sat on the couch and didn't look or speak to me. I asked him if this is how the rest of the night was going to go and he said "no, this is how the rest of the relationship is going to go."

 

 

Then... it happened.

 

He said "I'm done." I said "what do you mean?!" And he said "I'm breaking up with you." My face must have looked like it shattered into a thousand pieces because he immediately started crying saying he was sorry. I cried, begged, pleaded that it wasn't so. We've over come so much worse than this. I couldn't understand it. I didn't WANT to understand it. Then he looked down at the ground and said he isn't in love with me and hasn't been for a very long time. It didn't make any sense! Less than two days ago, we had the best sex of our lives and he's telling me during it that he wants me and loves me and that I'm so beautiful and he's so in love with me... what? I asked him if there was someone else and if he had cheated on me. He said no to both and said that he'd never been with anyone else and has never cheated on me.

 

He then drops down on to the ground at this point and proceeds to bawl his eyes out and starts pleading out loud asking God to forgive him and bless me because I deserve so much better than this and that I'm a good person with a good heart. It crushed me seeing him that way. I tried to reach out to him, hold him, console him and he ran to the other side of the room and said for me not to touch him. My heart imploded at that point and I was sent into a panic attack on the floor, oozing and crying all over the place.

 

He asked me to leave and go to my mother's house. In the midst of my pleas and cries I told him that morning I had just pecked him on the cheek goodbye and that it killed me to think that was the last time I was ever going to touch, feel, or kiss him... that I had taken it for granted. I asked him if I could kiss him goodbye and he balled up his fist and through clinched teeth and tears said no he couldn't and didn't want me to kiss him.. I begged and cried again and he finally agreed to let me kiss him on the cheek, so I did and when I did he dropped to the floor in the fetal position crying and screamed "Why did I let you do that! Why did I let you do that!!!" I ran out of the apartment...

 

I came home with just a small bag and my purse. I had ran out so fast I left all of my things at the apartment so I had to go back the next day to get them.. but mostly hoping he had come to his senses and realized he'd made a mistake. He immediately looked at me and asked me "what the f--k are you doing back here." I knew he was still mad... I ended up crying and pleading again and sobbing all over the place again and in distress begged him to kiss and hug me goodbye. He complied and when he hugged me he clung onto me tightly sobbing into my shoulder apologizing over and over again. I said I loved him and that I was sorry too and he rubbed my back and smelled my hair. I pulled back and he kissed me, passionately before I left once again.

 

I decided that I was going to give him his space and try to not contact him for a few days but like an idiot, I went into panic mode and I showed up again the next day. Only this day he was supposed to be at work so I thought I would get enough of my longing out of my system by being in our house among our things, smelling the sheets where we laid.. etc. Well, considering his work is within walking distance to the apartment... he happened to walk in on me. He was cold at first but then started to make small talk with me. He was on a 5 minute break from work and he had come to the apartment to get his wallet. I asked him if he was okay and he said no that he was hurting. He then opened the fridge and chugged a beer. That's when I noticed the entire trash can was full of beer cans and beer bottles. He then went to leave to go back to work and when he opened the door he leaned in like he was going to kiss me goodbye but caught himself at the last minute and said he would see me later.

 

In the time that it took for me gather my stuff he came back a second time and started to drink ANOTHER beer. I reached out and asked to finish it, he gave it to me and I drank it... I don't even like beer, and I don't really like drinking but it was hurting me to see him drown his emotions with alcohol so I took it as if I was taking away some of his pain. He told me that when he wakes up he drinks, when he's at work he drinks, and when he comes home he drinks. He then left and went back to work.

 

As I was gathering the last of my things I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that i looked like an absolute wreck. I decided I didn't want that to be his last memory of me so I took a shower and got dolled up and waited for him to get off work. When he got off work he immediately went and took a shower, then came out and sat on the couch. That's when I made my appearance and sat down next to him. We made small talk. He told me how pretty I looked that night, about how his work went, our mutual interest in video games, etc. before I approached the subject once again about our break up. I tearfully told him how sorry I was and how much I missed him and that I needed to know how he really felt because it was unfair for me to sit at home obsessing over our relationship and his feelings instead of trying to focus on either working on my issues so that we can try again or moving on. He said "I can't tell you how I really feel or you'll never leave." Which means......?! He then said that I should know he loves me and that he cares for me and that he always will love and care for me but that our relationship had gotten terrible and that he didn't want it to continue that way. I told him I agreed but that I would prefer a break instead of a break up because breaking up seems so permanent and it's the permanency that scares me. I asked if he thought we would get back together and he said he wasn't thinking about us and that he couldn't think about it because it hurt too much but that he didn't know what the future held and that if we're meant to be then we're meant to be and that we'll end up back together.

 

It hurt to hear him talk about those things because he's drowning his sorrows in alcohol which is what caused the bulk of our issues in the first place. It all filters into one another so I feel scared and angry that while I'm uprooted and tossed out and emotionally wraught with grief to where I HAVE to think about myself, our relationship, and my faults and what I need to do to better myself... he's at home in our apartment surrounded by his things in their place close to his "friends" and spending all his time drinking and hanging out with them instead of really considering us, me, and our relationship.

 

I left a little less dramatically that night and he hugged me and rubbed my back asking me to promise him I'd calm down before driving and that he wanted me to eat and be safe. He forced me to take left over food with me and he asked that I text him to let him know I made it home okay. He also kissed me on the cheek a couple of times too. I texted him that night when I got home letting him know I kept my promise and I made it safe and sound. He didn't respond so I sent another text saying I should have known better but I just wanted to keep my word and that I appreciated him being so kind to me tonight. He texted back and said good night and sleep well. I said I didn't know if and when I'd see him again but it was a sweet last memory. He texted he just wanted to make sure I was doing as good as I can be considering the situation. I said that I'm going to learn to be happy without him so that I can maybe one day be happy with him and that I'm praying for him and for us and that I love and miss him and that I'll always be here for him. He texted back and said, "I know. Thank you. I'm here too. Goodnight :)" I don't respond.

 

Two hours later, he sends me another text with a photo of something we both enjoy and starts to talk to me about it. I ended the conversation saying he should get some sleep and said goodnight again.

 

The next day I had to work close by our apartment and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't go near it. I made it all the way to my mother's drive way before panicking and driving all the damn way straight back to our apartment's door. I walk in and he has one of his coworker friends over and he's drinking a beer and they're playing video games. I calmly come up with the excuse that I needed to get a few more of my things and change our fish's water in his aquarium. As I'm doing this he's asking me to check out the game they're playing and his friend asks me how I'm doing. I tell him as good as I can be and then look at my (now ex) boyfriend and ask him if he would excuse himself to come upstairs and talk to me for a minute.

 

Upstairs I lose myself and cry about how he's just forgetting about me. Hanging out with friends, drinking, playing video games.. in OUR apartment and having a good ole time. He gets aggravated and says that yeah he's doing all these things but that he's hurting and trying to ignore the pain and ignore thinking. His mom has called me and texted me asking where he is because he's ignoring her phone calls to which I had to tell her he broke up with me. I tell him he needs to call her and that she knows and he says he can't talk to her because he doesn't want to hurt. I become incoherent as I sob and say it's not fair for him to ignore the pain while I feel every inch of it and tell him it feels like I've been turned inside out and that ever cell in my body has been torn to shreds. He tells me I can come downstairs and hang out with him in his friend or stay upstairs if I need to then walks back downstairs. From there i hear him say "great, he left..." and I walk downstairs to find that his friend left and left a note saying he wanted to give us some privacy. So we continue to talk... I sit in the floor and cry and he tells me I can't keep doing this to myself and I can't keep showing up because it doesn't give him time to miss me that when I'm away he thinks of the good times but when I'm there it makes him focus on the negative. He said he loves me and cares for me and that I was unlike any other girl he dated and that he's not going to forget about me because it's not that easy.. he's living in a house of MY things so all he does is come home and think about me. He calms me down and I sit on the couch with him and he talks to me some more. We talk about the possibility of getting back together and he says that he doesn't know but that anything is possible but only if he could see that there was a 100% change. He then tells me that he wanted to show me something and he pulls up his video game and shows me this beautiful snowy landscape. I look at it and smile and tell him it's beautiful and I can see that he's looking at me and smiling. I then tell him that I've been trying to focus my time watching the youtube videos that he always watches when he falls asleep because I miss him and it makes me feel like I'm home. At that point he leans his face down and reaches out to me like he's going to fondle me but jerks back and closes his eyes, balling up his fist saying no.. no he can't do it. Then he opens his eyes and looks at me, biting his lip and well... I'm ashamed to say it but we ended up having sex.

It hurt me to have sex with him but I was so desperate for his touch, his kiss, to feel him caressing and loving me that I gave in. He stopped mid-way and said "We're still breaking up. This doesn't change anything." Which caused my eyes to sting. Thankfully the lights were dim so he couldn't see my tear fill eyes.

 

After that, I left a lot more calmly having just had passionate sex and a few more answers about where we stand. He hugged me goodbye, rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair and then he kissed me on the cheek a few times. I jokingly said he had just kissed me during sex it didn't make a difference now so then he kissed me goodbye three different times. I told him I missed him and that I love him and he said once again, I know. I gave him a look and he said "You know I love and miss you too." to which I said, "why can't you say it back then? It doesn't change anything for you to tell me that's how you feel but withhold saying it back to me when I say it to you." So I said I love you again and that time he said "I love you too." He said "I'll see you later, okay?" I told him "I'm not going anywhere, please text me when you're ready." And he softly smiled and said he would. Then I walked out the door, looking back one last time and he was watching me leave, smiled again and gently waved saying once last time "I'll see you later." I said "Promise?" and he smiled again and shook his head yes...

 

Today is my first FULL day of NC and it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Especially after last night all I want to do is run to the apartment and be with him and in our home, my home.. I miss him. I miss everything. I miss us. No one understood me like he did. He wasn't just my boyfriend but my best friend. No one had all the same quirks and interests as me like he did and being without him feels so isolating and scary. I went from living with the love of my life and seeing him every day and now I don't know when I'll get to see and talk to him again. He was the first person I wanted to tell about anything and now I don't have that anymore. It hurts, more than anything I've ever exprienced in this world. It feels like death without dying.

 

Is this forever? Everything hurtful and permanent that he's said has been contradicted by his actions. I've talked with my friends, family, and his own family about it and they all say that he's in a dark place right now and feels like a failure thus he feels like he can't be good enough for me so he's trying to force me to leave so that he doesn't hurt me anymore.

 

The thing is, I knew a better him so I know what kind of person he's capable of being. There are several times he's told me he's wanted to quit drinking, get back into school, get a different job, etc. and I've had his back on anything he's ever aspired to have in his life 1000000% and I've always went out of my way to encourage him to pursue any of his dreams. I graduated college and I now run my own business and my friends, family, and his family say that he sees my success and compares it to his failures and thinks that he's holding me back. Truth is, he isn't! He wasn't always in this rutt, it's just been very recently. That's why it's so hard for me. I was his girlfriend and I wanted to spend my life with him. You care for and lift up the ones you love and you stick by them in times of trouble, especially when you see them struggling. If he had always been this way or I saw that there was no hope for our relationship, I would have been the fastest out the door! But I can't let go of this deep feeling I have in my soul that this is not the end of us and that he just needs his space and that this is all happening for a reason and it's because he has to hit his ultimate rock bottom or he'll never be able to rise above the limitations he's set for himself. Even though he dumped me and my heart is shattered, I still think the world of him and believe he's able to achieve so much more than what he is now.

 

Am I pathetic? What do you all think... do you think we stand a chance? Do you think we'll be able to start again?

 

I wrote this entire thing as a means to get everything out and stay home so that I didn't run off to the apartment. You'll probably see a lot more of me in the NC thread from now on.

 

I'm sad that we had to meet like this, but I'm grateful for any support I can give/get.

 

Tear soaked hugs. <3

 

-AG

[mightycpa]

AG, this will likely be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, but it is important to do so.

 

Print out this page that you wrote, and get two highlighters - a pink one, and a green one, for example. For every negative thing that you wrote, highlight it in pink, and for every redeeming quality of his, highlight it in green. If he has exhibited behaviors that are at odds with those great qualities of his in green, paint them pink. Then step back, look at the map you've drawn and see if this is the life you want to go back to.

 

You are experiencing the disappointment of a love not living up to expectations. He may yet come out of it just fine, and turn himself around, but you'd do well to let him make his mistakes with somebody else. He's going to make them, a lot of them, and there's nothing you can do to stop him.

 

He's right about one thing - you're too nice a person to be put through this. Time to walk through the fire and get cleansed of this as soon as you can.

[AuburnGreen]

AG, this will likely be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, but it is important to do so.

 

Print out this page that you wrote, and get two highlighters - a pink one, and a green one, for example. For every negative thing that you wrote, highlight it in pink, and for every redeeming quality of his, highlight it in green. If he has exhibited behaviors that are at odds with those great qualities of his in green, paint them pink. Then step back, look at the map you've drawn and see if this is the life you want to go back to.

 

You are experiencing the disappointment of a love not living up to expectations. He may yet come out of it just fine, and turn himself around, but you'd do well to let him make his mistakes with somebody else. He's going to make them, a lot of them, and there's nothing you can do to stop him.

 

He's right about one thing - you're too nice a person to be put through this. Time to walk through the fire and get cleansed of this as soon as you can.

 

 

I guess I should be fair and say that wouldn't really be an accurate representation because I tried to make this as short as possible by only describing what caused us to break up. So of course, it's a majority about his drinking problem. I keep a journal and kept one during most of our relationship so I'm grateful to have a raw, honest way to reflect back on our relationship. When we had our last real fight about his drinking, about a month prior to our final break up fight, I had made pros and cons list to reflect. The pros far out-weighed the cons. Real pros that were important and fundamental to our relationship are why I stayed and why I'm fighting to stay now. I didn't use things like "He looks good" to keep me in my place, though there were many of those little things that I loved about him on that list (his eyes, the way he smiled, the sound of his laugh, the way he kissed me, the smell of his hair...). I focused on the numerous qualities that you can build a lifetime with-- like how supportive he was. He ALWAYS supported my hopes and dreams, he's responsible with his money and is financially stable, he's a hard worker, intelligent, he shared the same religious views that I did, he wanted to get married and have kids...etc. He failed out of school for oversleeping because his gas station job kept him until after midnight and he had 7AM classes the next day. I never held that against him because it didn't mean he wasn't smart or that he couldn't make something of himself. I always believed he'd get back into school--I still do. I just think with all worst case scenarios considered that he's lost himself in a dark place right now and he doesn't want to drag me down with him. It just hurts to watch him isolate himself and in turn, isolate me--the person who thinks the world of him despite all his mistakes. I guess the important question is, do the few cons he has eradicated the tens of hundreds of things I can write that are redeeming? If I were to answer that question now it might seem manipulated by my emotions due to the break up but I've answered that question before the break up and it's been a unwavering "yes" each time. Otherwise, I wouldn't have broken up with him instead.

 

It's going to be the hardest, most painful experience to force myself to give up on him after all this time of believing in him...

[AuburnGreen]

Otherwise, I wouldn't have broken up with him instead.

 

*I would have broken up with him instead.

[elaine567]

When it all came down to the wire, you or the drink, he chose the drink.

[d0nnivain]

You are not pathetic. You are heartbroken. This is the immediate aftermath of the break up. It's tough. Be glad your mom can at least put a roof over your head.

 

 

Your BF is an alcoholic. Life with him was getting worse & worse. Odds are he's going to die sooner rather than later based on his reckless behavior.

 

 

You can't worry about that but I urge you to go to an Al-Anon meeting. It's a group for people who love alcoholics. Welcome to Al-Anon Family Groups They will help you understand that the end of this relationship is the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

 

Take some time to reassess your situation. Find a new place to live. Maybe move somewhere with mom so she has a working shower. Get hers fixed for her as a thank you for letting you stay.

 

 

Lick your wounds for a few weeks but then move forward in your life.

 

 

Things with him will never be the same. You can't get back together with him until he has at least a full YEAR of sobriety under his belt but since he has no plans to quit, there is nothing for you to go back to. As somebody else pointed out when faced with a choice-- you or booze -- he picked booze.

[sowhynot]

I had to deal with an alcoholic at work a few years back.

 

He had NO hesitation in choosing the bottle over his family - wife and two children - and his career.

 

You may not realise it now but you have honestly dodged a big, big, bullet.

 

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time and you will work your way through this - it will get better.

[spartygirl95]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like its been a really difficult time for you. Its never easy when a relationship ends, especially when they are also your best friend! Its important you take care of yourself. Take it a day at a time, spend time with friends. If things continue to be difficult or gets worse, definitely talk to someone about it.

 

Has your ex-boyfriend considered attending AA? You need support too. Al-Anon, Welcome to Al-Anon Family Groups can offer you support and suggestions. Here's an article that you may find helpful, article .