MallysWorld Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 My fiancé says she wants to take a break but her actions are misleading/confusing I love her and want to be together but idk what she wants To anymore. Like she still wants me to sleep in the bed she still gives me kisses still tells me about her day but says things like I feel like we are different than before and may be growing apart which is confusing me... I show her how much I love her and give her my time (which I don't have much of) and we also have a child together... We have been together for 8.5years and it's hard to be in this situation but it's confusing seeing if I should not keep trying or should I . She gives the impression that she wants to still be together at times then others she doesn't. We have broken up before and she left the house and stayed with a family member for a couple months but this time she is wanting to stay or just haven't left yet she recently told me she feels like I deserve to have somebody that loves just as hard as I do and she can't put her all into it because she feels like she's not in love with me right now.... We have been through this in the past and everything got back on track but this one seems to hit just a bit harder.... I feel like it's just a "I need space type thing" but I want to know what you all think I should do should I give up on her or should I keep trying and give her the space I think she wants? 1
Satu Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 I think you might benefit from couple's counselling if you haven't already tried it. Even if you have, I would try it again. It sounds like there's still something there that you could build on. Take care.
mightycpa Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 It sounds like the opening volley in a long, slow war for independence. I'd probably ask her to leave, and tell her that for the sake of stability, the child should stay in the home with you, assuming you can deal with that. Only you really know this woman well enough to know what to do. I just wonder how many times you can put up with that.
SammySammy Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 What is the source of the problem(s) in the relationship? Can you all address that? 1
Author MallysWorld Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 I don't want to put her out because my end goal is to make her happy and fall back in love with me again plus I don't want her to feel like I just gave up on her... I really want my family intact and happy together I really need to know since to me I feel like there is still love there and a great friendship how do I get her back?
Author MallysWorld Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 What is the source of the problem(s) in the relationship? Can you all address that? Her reasons are she's not the same girl she feels I feel in love with and she feels like I give 100% but she can't give that because she's not in love anymore .... She says she's still loves but just not in love with me anymore
mightycpa Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Find the answer, either write it down or bottle it, make a bazillion dollars and live happily ever after. Nobody knows the answer to your question, not even her.
Michaelroyale Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Hi there this must be very difficult for you and emotionally draining..I was in a similar situation and totally didn't read the signs of what was going on in an emotional level...her attraction for you seems to be like a roller coaster she may well love you but not in love with you....It could be your behaviour over time that's causing problems so at the moment I would stop with all the chasing and telling her you love her don't be needy or weak show her you are a strong man and be confident give her space...there's something that definitely needs looking at in your relationship perhaps marriage councillor's could help.be careful what you do now work on yourself become a better person and just support her as best as you can..let her come back to you... Best of luck....
GorillaTheater Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Nobody knows the answer to your question, not even her. I can hazard a guess ... She says she's still loves but just not in love with me anymore Often, though not invariably, this means she's screwing some other dude, or seriously considering screwing some other dude. I hope I'm wrong, but it may be worth checking out.
Satu Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 I don't want to put her out because *my end goal is to make her happy and fall back in love with me again plus I don't want her to feel like I just gave up on her... I really want my family intact and happy together I really need to know since to me I feel like there is still love there and a great friendship how do I get her back? *That is completely, absolutely, definitely, impossible. You can't make her feel what you want her to feel. You can't make her want what you want her to want. You can't make her think what you want her to think. Its impossible. Can't be done. If that really is your 'end goal,' you'll fail. However, if she has some willingness in herself, to repair the relationship, some progress might be possible. Try not to let your need to be loved fill you with desperation. Does she have any willingness? 1
Author MallysWorld Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 *That is completely, absolutely, definitely, impossible. You can't make her feel what you want her to feel. You can't make her want what you want her to want. You can't make her think what you want her to think. Its impossible. Can't be done. If that really is your 'end goal,' you'll fail. However, if she has some willingness in herself, to repair the relationship, some progress might be possible. Try not to let your need to be loved fill you with desperation. Does she have any willingness? I'm seems that way because she still asks me to watch movies and cuddle she still asks me to sleep in the bed with her we still talk over text we still have laughs and talk about experiences of the day at work she still appreciated the gifts I give her..... And she still hasn't made any arrangements to leave or when I have volunteered to stay at a friends she doesn't want me too 1
Satu Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 I'm seems that way because she still asks me to watch movies and cuddle she still asks me to sleep in the bed with her we still talk over text we still have laughs and talk about experiences of the day at work she still appreciated the gifts I give her..... And she still hasn't made any arrangements to leave or when I have volunteered to stay at a friends she doesn't want me too Then all is not lost. Do not drown her in affection and romantic gestures. Be warm, but don't crowd her. Don't be around her all the time. Spend time on yourself. Find your own internal harmony. Take care.
Author MallysWorld Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Then all is not lost. Do not drown her in affection and romantic gestures. Be warm, but don't crowd her. Don't be around her all the time. Spend time on yourself. Find your own internal harmony. Take care. Thank you I think that's what I wanted to hear because I know it will be all worth it in the end and we will both realize we wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't special
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