How do I handle this?

[tart6245]

I've finally determined that I need to end things with my girlfriend of 2 years. After a long and dramatic relationship, I am drained, frustrated, tired and feeling trapped. Fights happen daily and I no longer am able to be myself, and I don't see it improving. Moreover, the move my girlfriend made to my home city hasn't gone well. She's not made friends, hates her job and is relying on me for everything.

 

I hate where we are. I feel guilty for her moving here, although I did tell her not to do it if she didn't think it was best for her. But I see no other way out. My problems are documented on this site if anyone cares to read.

 

I currently have been staying with her at the apartment we share. I have clothes, my computer and my tv there. And some food and other items. We both work during the day. I'm afraid that if I break the news to her she'll try to destroy some of my things.

 

Should I go during the work day and pack my things and try to be there when she gets back? I don't know what to do. I hate myself for this and I hate hurting her but I just can't be what she wants me to be. It's making me miserable

[CarrieT]

Go get your stuff first

[mightycpa]

Yeah, if you actually think she'll lash out and mess your stuff up, get it out of there first, and have no mercy when you tell her.

 

The more you hurt her, the less likely she'll bug you after. Who cares if she thinks you're an *******, as long as she thinks it somewhere away from you?

[tart6245]

I guess so. I just feel awful she moved here and things just aren't working out. But she knew the risks going in, I suppose, and I told her to think long and hard before moving and she came. I love her very much, I do, but she just wants things I can't give her right now and I feel like we're at two completely different areas in our lives. I've lost myself and I don't think I can get it back with her. She just wants a generic "boyfriend" that'll just do everything for her and never need anything for himself