alphamale Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Should I say yes, given it was last minute? if you like him you should say yes
RecentChange Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 I am pretty busy, usually leave for work at 6:30 am, and often do not get home until 9:30 at night. Anytime I told someone I was "busy" (usually along with a very tardy response to a text or email) - it's because I wasn't that into them, and was playing with other options. Someone didn't pan out? Kinda bored? I would hit up the guy I was usually "too busy" for. Someone I like? And want to persue? I might be too busy to respond due to a conference call etc - but never ever too busy to let days pass before responding.
Author egalew Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 FYI.. I posted yesterday about the guy who took four days to answer my e-mails because he was soooo busy. He then asked me out for Sunday. I got some great responses to my post, so thanks to those who responded. I decided to honest with him, so sent him the below e-mail. Interestingly, he got back in less than 2 minutes. No joke. Though he was a little defensive about why he was busy. Oh, well. At least I got it off my chest. E-mail Pardon me if I’m misinterpreting this. But, in all honestly, an e-mail four days later with a Sunday invite doesn’t feel right. As someone who has done my fair share of online dating, it tells me the person is preoccupied or simply doesn’t have time for me. All the best, 1
GR4 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Good for you. Before I gave up with this whole dating nonsense I had got to the point where I would call girls out on their ****ty behaviour. If more people did the same then maybe things would start to change and it wouldn't be considered the normal thing to just ignore people which is what we sadly have now.
katiegrl Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 FYI.. I posted yesterday about the guy who took four days to answer my e-mails because he was soooo busy. He then asked me out for Sunday. I got some great responses to my post, so thanks to those who responded. I decided to honest with him, so sent him the below e-mail. Interestingly, he got back in less than 2 minutes. No joke. Though he was a little defensive about why he was busy. Oh, well. At least I got it off my chest. E-mail Pardon me if I’m misinterpreting this. But, in all honestly, an e-mail four days later with a Sunday invite doesn’t feel right. As someone who has done my fair share of online dating, it tells me the person is preoccupied or simply doesn’t have time for me. All the best, What did his response say?
Author egalew Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 GR - I agree. People are banking on you not having the nerve and will be too polite to be called out on their bad behavior. So, when you do, it's shocking. He had a laundry list of reasons of why he was sooo busy: brother in law in town, started consulted job, etc..... But, as someone pointed out yesterday, we're all busy. And how long does it take to shoot off an e-mail.
Author egalew Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 Blue - His response: "I am sorry you feel that way. After I got back, my brother in law was down for the weekend. Then I had a job interview I had to prepare for. Then started my consulting job. Yes, I was preoccuppied with some pretty important stuff."
GemmaUK Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Four days with someone new is no biggie to me. In fact I wish it were the norm. It used to be. I don't know his life yet and he doesn't know mine. 1
Bluboy Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Blue - His response: "I am sorry you feel that way. After I got back, my brother in law was down for the weekend. Then I had a job interview I had to prepare for. Then started my consulting job. Yes, I was preoccuppied with some pretty important stuff." Moving on seem to me the right decision. No contact for 4 days only to ask for a date on the first contact doesn't go well with me.
Author egalew Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 Gemm - It wouldn't have been our first date. It would have been our third.
lilmissjava Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Time wasters You scripted that email very well. Shows you he doesn't value your time at all. Sunday date translates to Friday and Saturday dates are more important. Onward and upward!
Author egalew Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 Thanks, Lil. He is a time waster and I just thought his behavior was an indication of what was ahead. Past experience told me I'd be better to jump sooner versus later. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 egalew Even at date 3 you were not a priority for him over family, work & presumably sleep, nor should you have expected to be. Because you are annoyed by his behavior, you had every right to tell him your position on the subject. His position is he did nothing wrong & was trying. Ergo, you two are incompatible. End of discussion. Do you feel better now that you said your piece? 1
Author egalew Posted April 22, 2016 Author Posted April 22, 2016 Donn- Yes. I felt better. That said, it's not I feel I have to be a high priority. Of course, family, etc. is more important than some woman that he's dated three times. But I felt he was doing a half-ass job at dating. It was like, "Yawn.....let me send an e-mail." As yesterday's post reflected, most agreed 4 days to send a simple e-mail is rather lane. And, as I find, what you put into life. It wasn't a good sign to come. That said, I am trying to be very honest and upfront with people. I think ghosting is crowardly. So, hopefully, he knows better next time around with someone.
smudge21 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 I don't think there's ever a sure fire "win" in regards dating. If someone contacts too much, it can push the other away. If it's too little, it can send the message they're not interested. Girls shouldn't contact first. Guys should make all the early moves. Yet some people actually prefer it if the girl makes the moves. It's a minefield and all you can really ever do is be true to yourself. If something doesn't feel right, and you have to question it in the early days, then that's a red flag that things may not be heading in a good direction. Early days should be fun and easy going, not confusing and annoying. I know full well how I act when I'm into someone, and I can easily recognize when someone isn't into me. If one fishy refuses to bite, go drop your hook in another part of the river.
GemmaUK Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Gemm - It wouldn't have been our first date. It would have been our third. Date 3 is waaaay new!!! Lol! You're kidding surely?!
Cinnamonstix Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 I think you did the right thing by turning down the date. If you're looking for "the one", you want someone that is into you enough by date three to not let four days go by without responding to you. Guys know early on if someone has really grabbed their interest. I would not be interested in spending time with someone that feels lukewarm about me.
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