32yofemale Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 My boyfriend left a few weeks ago. We were together for a year. There was a lot of fighting. He wants to see me all the time. He says he wants to be friends, and is adamant about staying single. We text pretty much everyday. He compliments me. He came over last week to bring me something. Then he asked if I want to watch a movie. I miss him a lot, so I said yes. He wanted to snuggle. That led him to trying to kiss and have sex with me. I refused. I told him it will hurt me more and I can't. On Saturday he invited me bike riding but I couldn't go. We went bike riding today. We stopped to rest and sit on a bench and he was holding my hand. After bike riding we went out to eat. While we were there, he said he still feels like we're together and wants to be with me, but insists on being single for the summer. He asked me to come furniture shopping with him tomorrow. He also invited me to an event with his coworkers next week. After dinner tonight, we went to his mom's house and sat with her for a bit. When I went to leave, he walked me out and tried to kiss me. I refused. He tells me he loves me all the time. Yet he still insists on being single and dating around. Tonight when I got home, I broke down crying. I texted him saying it hurts so much when I see him. He said he loves me so much, but won't ask to see me anymore if it hurts me. He's also been talking to and hanging out with his ex before me since we broke up. He went out to dinner with her and his mom yesterday. I'm so damn confused. What is he doing? Why does he want? I am hurting so much bc I'd love for us to get back together. A little background. I'm 32. He's 37. Neither of us have ever been married.
Tmtsquad Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Seems like his trying to get into your pants, you should let him know that nothing is going to happen between use two don't give up easy know your worth don't message for a day or two if he gets worried girl he loves you
LD1990 Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 He's trying to get all the benefits of a relationship with you while still remaining free to have sex with other women. And it's your fault, because you're letting him. You're going on bike rides with the guy that dumped you so he could hook up with his ex and whoever else he wants over the summer. Screw that, are you cool with being downgraded from his girlfriend to one of his playthings? The fact that he takes both you and another girl to hang out with his mother within a 24 hour period is just weird. I'm stunned that a mother would be cool with that. Respect and value yourself enough to go NC here. He says he wants to be with you, but he's adamant about staying single despite how much it hurts you. Doesn't that tell you all you need to know about how little he really cares?
Emilia Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 OP, you need to go no contact. You know that. Your ex isn't emotionally mature enough to do that, he is trying to move on bit by bit, not cutting the cord causing you pain in the process.
PegNosePete Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 What is he doing? Why does he want? It's very simple (for an outsider to see). He wants to have sex with you but he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He wants to have sex with you whilst dating other people. He wants to carry on having sex with you but he doesn't want any of the responsibility or feelings. All these things he is doing with you... bike riding, furniture shopping, talking about his "feelings" etc... is all designed to make you get closer to him, so that he can have sex with you, but without getting into an actual relationship. You need to cut him off. A normal "friendship" clearly isn't possible here. All he wants is to get in your pants and then go off and date other women afterwards.
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