Tmtsquad Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Hi I'm new to this forum and I hope to get kind replies I broke up with my girlfriend 1 week ago because she was flirting with other guys we dated close to 4 years and I couldn't stand it anymore because I asked her many times to stop but she didn't, I told her I wanted to break up and I did we didn't have no contact for 1 week that whole week I was going out to clubs drinking alcohol everyday trying to forget her but didn't seem to help anways I called her today she said she was out having a drink and told me me to come so I did. When I got there she was abit shy like she hasn't seen me in years... Anways I told her that she ruined us and what she did was so bad and it hurt me she got teary and walked off then later told me why I had mention all this and embarrass her next to her friends and her friend told me when she walked off that she's in the wrong and not me. I was tipsy so I was hugging and kissing her and I asked if she wanted to get back together and that I forgive her for what she did, she told me not to rush things? And I was talking to her girlfriend and by accident another dudes name popped up his name was Abdalla and I asked her who that was she said it's a girl and her name is Adele she tried to lie to me but I found out it that hard way that it's a dude she's talking to. I can't stop thinking about her but it's really hurting me what should I do?
Rachel39 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Reading your post it sounds like you should cut contact with her and focus on yourself. Breakups are so hard and for me have been one of the most painful life experiences. You both sound, young I maybe wrong but your ex maybe not ready to have a serious relationship at the moment. I'm sorry I can't be if much help as I'm struggling a lol myself at the moment
ExpatInItaly Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 First, lay off the booze. It's not helping and it won't make your problems go away. Second, stay broken up with her. Why did you decide to tell her that you forgive her? That sends the message you're okay with her behaviour. You know she talks to other men and wasn't willing to change that to salvage the relationship. That should tell you all you need to know about her level of respect for you. Third, go No Contact. That means no social media contact either. Right now, I doubt she is taking you seriously because you are still in each other's lives. Go radio silent. Not as a means to get her back, but to help you move on. Fourth, be patient with yourself. One week is nothing, in the grand scheme of things. It will take much longer to heal from a 4-year relationship. You're not going to suddenly forget about her or feel 100% normal again for a little while. But this is why No Contact is so important. You need to truly detach from her. Every time you start to feel sad, remember how you felt when you found out she was lying and chatting with other men. She isn't The One.
Author Tmtsquad Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Hi I'm new to this forum I hope to get some good advices Firstly, I'm 23 years old and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was 18 she is the same age as me by the way, we barely had arguments even if we did it would last max 1 hour and we would cuddle with each other and talk it out. Secondly, I work and study a law degree at the same time, so I have loads of stress already but I didn't show my girlfriend any signs of me being sad most of my money went on our rent, and the wrest of my money I'll take her out spend hundreds to see her smile but she never really appreciated anything. On her birthday I bought her a Louis Vuitton bag and she's like "you're cheap" I was in total shock I said I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy and she nodded me off. Lastly, she's been talking to another folk and he was not even intellectual/good looking but she said just as mate so I didn't mind last night I finished an hour early I was driving home and in mind I bought her favourite cheesecake I opened the door and I saw clothes everywhere I thought she was washing then I realised she was moaning and I heard a man noise I didn't interrupt or nothing I was sitting outside the room on the couch waiting in tears she got out naked and saw me she started crying she told me nothing happened I told her that I'm breaking up with her and I'm picking up all my stuff next week I left and told her to take care I slept over a mates I woke up next morning and she called me over 20 times and like 30 sorry messages I didn't respond to anything I really like this girl but I had enough what do I do?
ALL OR NOTHING Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Hi I'm new to this forum I hope to get some good advices Firstly, I'm 23 years old and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was 18 she is the same age as me by the way, we barely had arguments even if we did it would last max 1 hour and we would cuddle with each other and talk it out. Secondly, I work and study a law degree at the same time, so I have loads of stress already but I didn't show my girlfriend any signs of me being sad most of my money went on our rent, and the wrest of my money I'll take her out spend hundreds to see her smile but she never really appreciated anything. On her birthday I bought her a Louis Vuitton bag and she's like "you're cheap" I was in total shock I said I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy and she nodded me off. Lastly, she's been talking to another folk and he was not even intellectual/good looking but she said just as mate so I didn't mind last night I finished an hour early I was driving home and in mind I bought her favourite cheesecake I opened the door and I saw clothes everywhere I thought she was washing then I realised she was moaning and I heard a man noise I didn't interrupt or nothing I was sitting outside the room on the couch waiting in tears she got out naked and saw me she started crying she told me nothing happened I told her that I'm breaking up with her and I'm picking up all my stuff next week I left and told her to take care I slept over a mates I woke up next morning and she called me over 20 times and like 30 sorry messages I didn't respond to anything I really like this girl but I had enough what do I do? Never ever ever ever ever speak to her again! Be thankful you found out what sort of person she was before you had children. 1
Rachel39 Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 That's must of been so heartbreaking for you. I agree never ever speak to her again! Cut all contact with her..... This is who she is no excuses! 1
Marco Valerio Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 What a Fu##ing shameless sl#t!!!! Do no ever talk to her again, she has no respect for you neither she has valued you. I could say, that somehow you're lucky this happen to you now, and not in a few years time with children or with a shared mortgage. 1
keiji Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Oh man, that's terrible. I know how it feels. What's been said by other members: don't ever, EVER, speak to her again. Don't let her reach out. Let her live with what she did and the pain she's caused to you. If she has a drop of decency left in her system, she'll regret it all her life, or for a long, long while at least. Keep posting. You'll need to vent. It won't be easy, but "you dodged a bullet" is an understatement in this case. It was a blessing to discover the truth. Hugs, man! 1
ALL OR NOTHING Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Hi I'm new to this forum I hope to get some good advices Firstly, I'm 23 years old and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was 18 she is the same age as me by the way, we barely had arguments even if we did it would last max 1 hour and we would cuddle with each other and talk it out. Secondly, I work and study a law degree at the same time, so I have loads of stress already but I didn't show my girlfriend any signs of me being sad most of my money went on our rent, and the wrest of my money I'll take her out spend hundreds to see her smile but she never really appreciated anything. On her birthday I bought her a Louis Vuitton bag and she's like "you're cheap" I was in total shock I said I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy and she nodded me off. Lastly, she's been talking to another folk and he was not even intellectual/good looking but she said just as mate so I didn't mind last night I finished an hour early I was driving home and in mind I bought her favourite cheesecake I opened the door and I saw clothes everywhere I thought she was washing then I realised she was moaning and I heard a man noise I didn't interrupt or nothing I was sitting outside the room on the couch waiting in tears she got out naked and saw me she started crying she told me nothing happened I told her that I'm breaking up with her and I'm picking up all my stuff next week I left and told her to take care I slept over a mates I woke up next morning and she called me over 20 times and like 30 sorry messages I didn't respond to anything I really like this girl but I had enough what do I do? Always remember love is like a deck of cards , It starts of with hearts and diamonds and it ends up with a club and a spade. 1
Author Tmtsquad Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Never ever ever ever ever speak to her again! Be thankful you found out what sort of person she was before you had children. Thanks for the advice indeed I will be a silent radio whilst she listens to drake and cries every night cheers.
ALL OR NOTHING Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks for the advice indeed I will be a silent radio whilst she listens to drake and cries every night cheers. Your situation is seriously brutal man the only victory now is that you escaped from this heartless person sooner rather than later and you can now sit back and watch her beg and cry for months as she drowns in her own sorrow.
Author Tmtsquad Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks for all the advices I really appreciate it! and on another note she just texted me and said if I leave her she will kill her self from guilt im definitely worried if she tries to attempt anything like that or is she just using that to persuade me to get back with her?
keiji Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks for all the advices I really appreciate it! and on another note she just texted me and said if I leave her she will kill her self from guilt im definitely worried if she tries to attempt anything like that or is she just using that to persuade me to get back with her? Don't fall in that trap, mate. When I caught my ex-wife cheating on me, she performed one of those emotional blackmail-suicides where they make sure they're not going to die at all. Let her digest her sense of guilt. You have enough on your plate right now and in the months to come, I'm afraid.
A11A Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks for all the advices I really appreciate it! and on another note she just texted me and said if I leave her she will kill her self from guilt im definitely worried if she tries to attempt anything like that or is she just using that to persuade me to get back with her? Her happiness is not your responsibility anymore, only your happiness is your repsonsibility. if you are worried that she is seriously a danger to herself you can always call the police or something and they can take care of it. For her to use such a tactic to get you to take her back is absolutely disgusting.
Rachel39 Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 She wasn't feeling suicidal when she was having sex with another guy. You seriously have enough to deal with and probably right now it's not hit you properly. Then having to deal with the threats from her.... She knows she has lost you, how do you ever come back from that... You need to think of yourself first and how your going to get through this
ALL OR NOTHING Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks for all the advices I really appreciate it! and on another note she just texted me and said if I leave her she will kill her self from guilt im definitely worried if she tries to attempt anything like that or is she just using that to persuade me to get back with her? The likely hood of her actually feeling suicidal is probably quite high for your sake and only yours maybe you should take this into account when deciding what to do. I would tell her that the relationship is over completely however tell her to contact you in month , don't say why just tell her to contact you. In a month those feelings may of subsided and if needed do it again every month till she recovers enough , although she is a total ass and she has ripped out your heart in life we all make mistakes and there ain't no coming back from death. The pain she probably feels right now is pretty dangerous and you as the decent man may have to show her one last time what type of person she's lost by saving her life. No doubt still walk away just do enough so you actually can rather than be haunted by her actions for the rest of yours.
Author Tmtsquad Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 I just purchased her a ticket to Queensland for a week so she can get over this suicidal talk and I told her to not contact me during the time she's there and when she comes back I put $3000 in her account and she said that would help her first thing tomorrow morning I'm changing my number changing my emails etc etc. and I booked an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow night to have a chat I won't be on any meds that's for sure but I've been just drinking vodka all day.
CarrieT Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Huh? She cheats on you and you buy her a vacation and give her $3,000? Grow a pair, man. Stop giving her things and wash your hands of her!
keiji Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 I just purchased her a ticket to Queensland for a week so she can get over this suicidal talk and I told her to not contact me during the time she's there and when she comes back I put $3000 in her account and she said that would help her first thing tomorrow morning I'm changing my number changing my emails etc etc. and I booked an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow night to have a chat I won't be on any meds that's for sure but I've been just drinking vodka all day. It's honorable that you're such a good-natured person, but you're sending the message that she did no wrong or wasn't mean enough to you. Now it's done, but you shouldn't be her safety net anymore. Cut her out of your life. Seriously. She's blackmailing you and transferring you the guilt that should be eating her inside. BTW, when someone wants to kill themselves, they don't announce it. They do it. Get the hell out of there.
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