AgainstAllOdds1 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'll preface this by saying I in no way am an orbiter nor do I ever want to be an orbiter (if you don't know the term: Urban Dictionary: orbiter). But I've noticed some odd things in my social circle. Girl 1: This was someone I used to have a crush on about a year ago. I asked her out, didn't get a response and moved on. Because I live in a small town, I still see her occasionally. She doesn't want much to do with me, and I'm ok with that. What's odd is that the guys who creep on every girl, have asked this girl out and were rejected - she's now friends with them! I'm a normal guy, but it seemed she wanted to get rid of me ASAP while the creeps hang around. Girl 2: This one doesn't involve me. My friend was head over heels in love with a girl who didn't want to date him in the slightest. He hits on her daily, drunk texts her, does all the dumb stuff. They once had an argument that nearly brought out the cops. Anyway, despite all of this, she still invites him out as an orbiter. The point I'm making in this thread is that girls don't choose their dates, they choose their orbiters too. Again, I would never want to be an orbiter, but think it's odd some girls cut me off immediately while preferring to keep the creeps around.
Jabron1 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 It does seem that you're jealous of orbiters, mate. I'm not sure what your issue is. And, to answer the question, yeah women choose their orbiters - obviously. 2
Author AgainstAllOdds1 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 It does seem that you're jealous of orbiters, mate. I'm not sure what your issue is. Jealous? No. A little confused? Yes. Although I have a calm demeanor and don't get drawn into drama, it seems that when girls break things off with me, it comes with a permanent grudge because...well, who knows. Meanwhile, some guys I know can be rather dumb and they're not cut off from the girls' social circle. I don't want to be these guys, but feeling like I'm always walking on eggshells isn't what I want either.
suzyhodge Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 This lady doesn't. try not to make generalizations.
Jabron1 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Jealous? No. A little confused? Yes. Although I have a calm demeanor and don't get drawn into drama, it seems that when girls break things off with me, it comes with a permanent grudge because...well, who knows. Meanwhile, some guys I know can be rather dumb and they're not cut off from the girls' social circle. I don't want to be these guys, but feeling like I'm always walking on eggshells isn't what I want either. Who cares? These guys are the dregs. Not worth worrying about. Why are you walking on eggshells? I'm so confused 1
Versacehottie Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Makes much more sense to get yourself out of the orbiter category altogether than figure out this riddle.... put your effort there 2
iphone_user1 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 OK, so what do you become if you get to have sex with the girl?
SwordofFlame Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 OK, so what do you become if you get to have sex with the girl? Friend with benefits?
preraph Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'll preface this by saying I in no way am an orbiter nor do I ever want to be an orbiter (if you don't know the term: Urban Dictionary: orbiter). But I've noticed some odd things in my social circle. Girl 1: This was someone I used to have a crush on about a year ago. I asked her out, didn't get a response and moved on. Because I live in a small town, I still see her occasionally. She doesn't want much to do with me, and I'm ok with that. What's odd is that the guys who creep on every girl, have asked this girl out and were rejected - she's now friends with them! I'm a normal guy, but it seemed she wanted to get rid of me ASAP while the creeps hang around. Girl 2: This one doesn't involve me. My friend was head over heels in love with a girl who didn't want to date him in the slightest. He hits on her daily, drunk texts her, does all the dumb stuff. They once had an argument that nearly brought out the cops. Anyway, despite all of this, she still invites him out as an orbiter. The point I'm making in this thread is that girls don't choose their dates, they choose their orbiters too. Again, I would never want to be an orbiter, but think it's odd some girls cut me off immediately while preferring to keep the creeps around. Sometimes girls are under the false assumption that guys can be mature enough, pull themselves together like and be man enough to be in command of their emotions to remain friends once rejected, just as most women are perfectly content to be only friends with the guy. It's not them picking. It's them giving men more credit than they're due for thinking with their brains and not their -- you know.
carhill Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Depends on the guy; if the guy is interested in a relationship, sex can leave him an unsatisfied relationship orbiter. I've seen this with MW's who will have sex with people but remain married so are legally unavailable for a complete and exclusive relationship. In general, in all things romantic or sexual, to the extent the ladies are pursued they get to choose. Men choose who they pursue and how they interpret the responses to their pursuit. Where one man might orbit, another moves on. It depends on the individuals. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 The guys that stick around -- the orbiters as you call them -- think that this is a war of attrition. By hovering about & being her friend, they think they can get out of the friend zone & that eventually she will date them. Some may also think that they can pick up her friends based on the fact that they are there. There is some validity to this method. Decisions are made by those who show up. Some girls need to see the guy put in the time & work to chase them before they will consider a date. Some just use these guys to stroke their egos. Since you have chosen to opt out why are you bothered by the behavior of people you claim not to care about? Are these orbiters somehow effecting you? 3
Emilia Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 It sounds to me that you are describing the disadvantages of living in a small town 2
Gloria25 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Well, I'm not like most women.... I don't chose "orbiters" and if a guy starts "orbiting" me, I end it ASAP. Yes, some women somehow wanna keep guys swarming around them. They darn well know the guy is interested, yet, wanna keep him around cuz they like the ego boost, like attention, and feel secure in having a "pet" to pick from if one day she is bored and wants something to date. Why did she not pick you? Maybe cuz she figured out that she can't play you and/or keep you dangling on a string while she gets her little ego boosts. Maybe she can't use you to show off (her minions training behind her). IMO, be glad that she hasn't chosen you to be an orbiter. I mean, who wants to be there following around someone who is using you like that? When I think of orbiters, I see some girl walking down the hallway in a high school and guys are like, "Can I hold your books?" "Can I do your homework?"...while she is eyeing the high school jock. Pathetic place to be in - as an orbiter. 4
jen1447 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Some just use these guys to stroke their egos. Most just use them to wash their cars. 1
SammySammy Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Well, I'm not like most women.... I don't chose "orbiters" and if a guy starts "orbiting" me, I end it ASAP. Yes, some women somehow wanna keep guys swarming around them. They darn well know the guy is interested, yet, wanna keep him around cuz they like the ego boost, like attention, and feel secure in having a "pet" to pick from if one day she is bored and wants something to date. Why did she not pick you? Maybe cuz she figured out that she can't play you and/or keep you dangling on a string while she gets her little ego boosts. Maybe she can't use you to show off (her minions training behind her). IMO, be glad that she hasn't chosen you to be an orbiter. I mean, who wants to be there following around someone who is using you like that? When I think of orbiters, I see some girl walking down the hallway in a high school and guys are like, "Can I hold your books?" "Can I do your homework?"...while she is eyeing the high school jock. Pathetic place to be in - as an orbiter. That's exactly what an orbiter is. Pathetically hanging around hoping that she'll like him one day. When his only real purpose is to provide an ego boost and carry books. Orbiters choose too though. They don't have to put themselves in that position. And can easily remove themselves from her orbit ... if they choose to. 5
elaine567 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Again, I would never want to be an orbiter, but think it's odd some girls cut me off immediately while preferring to keep the creeps around. ^^^This is what is eating the OP. You are the "nice guy", who is basically rejected totally, whilst other not so nice guys get to hang around the girl. My guess is they do not see you as a "nice guy", people like hanging about with fun people, I guess once rejected by the girl, you give off a rejected, dejected vibe or are bitter or angry or some other attitude that is not seen as attractive and fun to these women. The "rotters" and creeps do not tend to care, so are just their normal "party" selves, despite all. 3
thecrucible Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I don't think most women think "hey this guy is an orbiter". They probably just think the guy is their friend. I mean if I'm friendly, I'll still invite him to events, I'm not just going to ostracise him because of some unrequited feeling on his part. 3
Author AgainstAllOdds1 Posted April 21, 2016 Author Posted April 21, 2016 ^^^This is what is eating the OP. You are the "nice guy", who is basically rejected totally, whilst other not so nice guys get to hang around the girl. My guess is they do not see you as a "nice guy", people like hanging about with fun people, I guess once rejected by the girl, you give off a rejected, dejected vibe or are bitter or angry or some other attitude that is not seen as attractive and fun to these women. The "rotters" and creeps do not tend to care, so are just their normal "party" selves, despite all. You're right about what's eating at me, but what I bolded here is incorrect. I don't act dejected, I take the high road, say ok, and move on. Actually, these days, I don't even receive a rejection. The girl simply falls off the face of the earth and doesn't respond. I'll ask once or maybe twice at most, I don't overdo it. In the second example I listed in the OP, my friend was rejected by the girl he liked and they got into a screaming match. Yet, they're still on good terms.
love1336x Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 eh girls are strange creatures... muahahahahah. I mean why do you say this dude is a creep? To her he might be some clingy dude who is kissing her butt. Some women know when they can have a man kissing her feet, and she doesn't have to give anything but a pretty smile. Maybe this is why she didn't choose to be around you. She knows you're a nice dude, not really fair to mess with somebody like that. o.o My girlfriend best friend been orbiter for almost TWO years, and this girl has a boyfriend! He has told her maybe once he has feelings for her. He has given her a promotion (he's the boss), he pays for her food, buys her stuff, and the kicker... HE BUYS THE BOYFRIEND STUFF TOOO!!! So next time you see this girl think how you are not some pity fool in her hands.
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