SoulSurfer94 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 This girl and I have a mutual friend who she works with, we got texting and we were in constant contact for a week straight. She was telling me how she's looking for someone just like me, always flirting and saying how attractive she thinks I am. So we set up a date, she was talking about how she can't wait and she's really looking forward to it (this would also be our first time meeting, we had to find each other on facebook). The date went well we just went out for a drink (she was happy to keep it simple, actually the drink was her idea), afterwards she texts me saying thanks for the drink and how she had such a lovely time and that she would love to seem me again, I said I'll think of something for a our second date to which she replied 'Yeah that would be lovely!'. I tried chatting to her the next day via text and got very slow responses, the next day I only had one response. I've just asked her that if she's still interested I've thought of an idea for the second date (want to take her to the zoo) and I'd love to see her again. No response. Usually she would text me within seconds to minutes, but now it seems like hours. If she wasn't interested in seeing me again why would she say yes to a second date? It's so confusing, I don't see how all the interest she showed can go out the window, especially as she said she would love a second date! Thoughts?
Dis Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm sorry hun but this type of thing happens all the time. People change their minds. I'm not saying thats what happened here....she may still respond to you but I'd prepare for the worst. And if she did change her mind about you, it may not have been something you did so dont beat yourself up. People ghost/fade allllll the time. Pls dont text her anymore unless you get a response from her. Youve done all the leg work in terms of intiating contact and asking her on a second date. Botton line is...if shes interested she WILL contact you. If shes not she wont. The ball is in her court. In the meantime its best to have 0 expectations that way you wont be disapointed if she doesnt contact you again. And if she doesnt...your better off. Dont dwell on it. Theres someone out there for everyone. Whatever happens will work out for the best 1
Author SoulSurfer94 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 Thanks I'm definitely not going to contact her unless I get a response. Thing is, I want a reply even if it's a no! I'd rather be told that she's changed her mind rather than just waiting because you can't REALLY forget about it because there's always the possibility that they could respond. It's driving me crazy.
Dis Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Thanks I'm definitely not going to contact her unless I get a response. Thing is, I want a reply even if it's a no! I'd rather be told that she's changed her mind rather than just waiting because you can't REALLY forget about it because there's always the possibility that they could respond. It's driving me crazy. Oh hun I totally get it. I would rather be told instead of ghosted too. But plsss do prepare yourself for her not responding. Try to let it go. I know its so frustrating but remember that you deserve someone who WANTS you! Not someone thats going to ghost you. Also remember that you WILL find that right person. It just takes time. Take care of yourself hun 2
Toodaloo Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Such a common thing. I think it mostly happens when there is nothing "wrong" with the other person but that little extra "something" is missing and you can't quite put your finger on it... Because what do you say? Its easy when the other person is a complete idiot or you really don't fancy them etc. Not so easy when every box is ticked but you just don't have that sparkle with them. The other person is great and fun, good looking and everything you have been searching for but its just not happening... Chin up chook and take it as a compliment that you are a great guy just not the guy for her. There will be others. 1
Erik30 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 It's possible that she lost interest after that first date. Maybe she realized she isn't that attracted to you after meeting you in real life. Her "fantasy" about the guy she was texting with, didn't match up with reality. It happens. Meeting is kind off a fresh start for a lot of people, the texting before that sometimes doesn't really count anymore. I agree with the other poster, don't do anything. Her loss if she doesn't text you anymore.
road Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Ghosting is the way some people chose to say not to see you.
Author SoulSurfer94 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks all for the posts, turns out she texted me back but said she's having trouble receiving texts right now. So I sent her a Facebook message (she sent me a Facebook message last time her phone broke) I asked her about the second date, it was delivered and seen but still no response. At least I know I'm definitely being ignored, bit confused as to why she replied via text in the first place though if she didn't want to talk to me. I thought at age 22 people would have stopped playing silly childish games.
smudge21 Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 I thought at age 22 people would have stopped playing silly childish games. Nope. And don't be surprised if you experience similar from much older people. Age has nothing to do with it - some people just do not know how to communicate... and thanks to social media, it's only getting worse.
Author SoulSurfer94 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 I think you are absolutely right, it's so easy to just erase someone because of social media.
OnlyHonesty Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Thanks I'm definitely not going to contact her unless I get a response. Thing is, I want a reply even if it's a no! I'd rather be told that she's changed her mind rather than just waiting because you can't REALLY forget about it because there's always the possibility that they could respond. It's driving me crazy. Why would you contact her? She's given you slow responses or no responses at all, she's not interested and even if she contacts you, she has already shown how unreliable she is. So I ask again, why would you contact her? I think this is the mistake a lot of people make. Contacting her again will simply give you an opportunity to waste more energy and set yourself up to be ignored further. In this day and age of flaky egotistical individuals, one must learn to cut all ties if required to. 1
Larryville Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 This happens so often it is not even funny. The thing I will admit while it has been done to me a few times, I have done it as well. Thing is people know pretty quickly whether it is something long term almost immediately. It not a good or bad thing, just is. People get too emotional and take it way too personally. We can’t or usually don’t or won’t put ourselves in the others persons shoes. The other issue is many of us over value ourselves and we think, “I dare they ghost me, I’m awesome!”
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