Author Dis Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Hey Dis.... not understanding your one month rule. I mean let's say you only have three dates in that one month period, are you still gonna feel comfortable enough after only three dates to have sex? Or how about let's say you have eight dates in a two week period? And you have gotten close and feel super comfortable but you're gonna withhold because it hasn't been one month yet? I say have sex when you are comfortable and have developed a level of trust such that you are confident he cares and isn't going anywhere. It is always a risk though... and some men prefer to wait until after sex to decide whether or not they wish to make a particular woman his girlfriend. But I certainly don't think it's a bad thing that he asked.... after five dates prior to sex. How do you feel about him? Do you feel comfortable enough with him to call him your boyfriend? I'm really glad he asked me to be his gf because I was starting to like him to the point where I didnt even want to consider seeing other people. After the second date I stopped using my OLD accounts. I cant really describe this feeling I have when I'm with him but its very comfy. Then it can be sexy, then it can be fun. So yes, I'm comfortable with him and I'm ready to be exclusive, I wasnt going to see another guy anyway because I like him that much 1
Author Dis Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 There is no such thing as "normal" timing when wanting to commit. When it feels right, then it's right. I thought this is what the majority of people want.....true commitment, or at least some conformation that is the direction it's going to. The boards are full of threads of people whining about not being ask or wondering if it will happen or are they just FWB/being used for sex, blah blah blah. Don't question it. If you are happy, then be happy about it. You are one of the lucky ones. Most people who come here, their outcome is not very good you know. Thanks for that. I started over analyzing things when I got out of my last relationship but that only because I did not analyze the last one at all. Ddidnt even think. Just jumped in and it ended badly. I think its smart to analyze but like you said, its not good to over analyze. But in all seriousness, I'm so psyched. I really like him and I'm so happy I found a good guy. Its so funny because when I describe him as a "good guy" it seems like such a general description, people would only get what I mean if they met him. He's so gentle and ok this is gonna sound awfulllllll haha but...his heart is very pure, very untainted. Sounds so dumb I know lol! But I've never been with someone like that. He doesnt seem like he has a mean bone in his body. Thanks for reminding me to not over think it and enjoy it! 1
Cinnamonstix Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 He's so gentle and ok this is gonna sound awfulllllll haha but...his heart is very pure, very untainted. Sounds so dumb I know lol! But I've never been with someone like that. He doesnt seem like he has a mean bone in his body. I totally get it. My bf is the same, but he still has an edge. It's lovely to be with someone like that. I'm happy for you. 2
Author Dis Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 I totally get it. My bf is the same, but he still has an edge. It's lovely to be with someone like that. I'm happy for you. Yes!!! Exactly! He's really sweet yet he's still masculine! Perfect combo! I call it "broccoli dipped in chocolate" Sweet and rough lol He is a corrections officer so I could totally picture him jacking someone up if he had to, that thought turns me on haha. I have to have that masculinity in a guy, having a guy thats sweet too....ahhhh bliss 3
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Yes!!! Exactly! He's really sweet yet he's still masculine! Perfect combo! I call it "broccoli dipped in chocolate" Sweet and rough lol He is a corrections officer so I could totally picture him jacking someone up if he had to, that thought turns me on haha. I have to have that masculinity in a guy, having a guy thats sweet too....ahhhh bliss Oh man you are in DEEP girl! I am happy for you too! 2
Author Dis Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 It must have been the ziti. Haha! It works everytime lol
Author Dis Posted April 19, 2016 Author Posted April 19, 2016 Oh man you are in DEEP girl! I am happy for you too! As long as my head travels with my heart I'm good to go Thanks katiegrl!!
Author Dis Posted April 20, 2016 Author Posted April 20, 2016 Please bear with me as I have just had 3 finals over the past 3 days, my mind is exhausted. I had a date/netflix and chill with my now bf tonight. We had a great time through the whole night. The end seemed off though. Not a very warm goodbye. He didnt ask me to text him when I got home, although hes done that once before and everything was fine. It was just very less warm goodbye than usual. God I'm so f**** tired. He was too at the end of the night. School has wiped me out. Now I'm replaying this over and over in my head. Its not even that I'm super attached to him, my mind is just going nuts. When we said goodbye he said I'll see you tomorrow because he asked me to go with him to the casino to hang out for the night. But the goodbye just seemed off. He gave me one little kiss instead of a brief makeout session. I have been having a really hard time coping with finals. My last final was tonight and it seems, now that its over, I have finally hit a wall. I deleted my OLD accounts tonight for him, I wanted to and he was appreciative of that. I did it right in front of him. Not because he wanted me to but because it just worked out that way. I honestly feel out of my mind probably because the past 3 weeks of school have been so incredibly stressful. Am I overthinking this????
Deirdra Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 It's difficult to even ascertain what "this" is; so yes, I would say you're overthinking it. Get some sleep. 6
Cinnamonstix Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 (edited) Oh gotta love the fragile beginnings of new relationships! You might be over-thinking this. It might be the start of a decline in your relationship (he got you and now he's not as interested) OR it could just be an off night where you are both tired. As you're stressed, it will affect the energy you put out and what he gives back in turn. Since this is the first time this has happened, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it's the latter. If this becomes the new dynamic (a consistent pattern), then there might be something to it. I would say avoid hanging out with him when either of you is overly tired or stressed until you have accumulated more experiences together and gotten to know each other better. You're still forming impressions of each other so any off days carry a lot of weight. Edit: I missed the part where you said it was great throughout the night. If it was just the ending, you're definitely over-thinking it! But if the hot make out sessions come to a halt, then that would be a shame. Edited April 20, 2016 by Cinnamonstix 1
Author Dis Posted April 20, 2016 Author Posted April 20, 2016 Oh gotta love the fragile beginnings of new relationships! You might be over-thinking this. It might be the start of a decline in your relationship (he got you and now he's not as interested) OR it could just be an off night where you are both tired. As you're stressed, it will affect the energy you put out and what he gives back in turn. Since this is the first time this has happened, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it's the latter. If this becomes the new dynamic (a consistent pattern), then there might be something to it. I would say avoid hanging out with him when either of you is overly tired or stressed until you have accumulated more experiences together and gotten to know each other better. You're still forming impressions of each other so any off days carry a lot of weight. Yup fragile beginnings, not that fun. I was not stressed in the least around him. I was cheerful and upbeat, so was he. It wasnt until the end of the night when he got tired so the whole night was awesome for us both until the "cool" ending. I'm not even sure he noticed it. Then on my drive home I started getting really stressed. It was like the weight of finals came crashing down on me. I have a feeling I am overthinking this. I'm just so f***** up from school I dont know up from down or left from right.
Author Dis Posted April 20, 2016 Author Posted April 20, 2016 Oh gotta love the fragile beginnings of new relationships! You might be over-thinking this. It might be the start of a decline in your relationship (he got you and now he's not as interested) OR it could just be an off night where you are both tired. As you're stressed, it will affect the energy you put out and what he gives back in turn. Since this is the first time this has happened, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it's the latter. If this becomes the new dynamic (a consistent pattern), then there might be something to it. I would say avoid hanging out with him when either of you is overly tired or stressed until you have accumulated more experiences together and gotten to know each other better. You're still forming impressions of each other so any off days carry a lot of weight. Edit: I missed the part where you said it was great throughout the night. If it was just the ending, you're definitely over-thinking it! But if the hot make out sessions come to a halt, then that would be a shame. hahaha and ya the make out session was AWESOME tonight!
Author Dis Posted April 20, 2016 Author Posted April 20, 2016 Ok I was overthinking it. The reason why he was acting off was because after he offered to take me to the casino he realized he didnt have the money to go. So he asked me to hang out with him at home tonight instead. Everything is good. 1
kendahke Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 Please bear with me as I have just had 3 finals over the past 3 days, my mind is exhausted. I had a date/netflix and chill with my now bf tonight. We had a great time through the whole night. The end seemed off though. Not a very warm goodbye. He didnt ask me to text him when I got home, although hes done that once before and everything was fine. It was just very less warm goodbye than usual. God I'm so f**** tired. He was too at the end of the night. School has wiped me out. Now I'm replaying this over and over in my head. Its not even that I'm super attached to him, my mind is just going nuts. When we said goodbye he said I'll see you tomorrow because he asked me to go with him to the casino to hang out for the night. But the goodbye just seemed off. He gave me one little kiss instead of a brief makeout session. I have been having a really hard time coping with finals. My last final was tonight and it seems, now that its over, I have finally hit a wall. I deleted my OLD accounts tonight for him, I wanted to and he was appreciative of that. I did it right in front of him. Not because he wanted me to but because it just worked out that way. I honestly feel out of my mind probably because the past 3 weeks of school have been so incredibly stressful. Am I overthinking this???? Draw a warm bath, drink some soothing tea and get some sleep. Do that first. 2
Author Dis Posted April 21, 2016 Author Posted April 21, 2016 My now bf had his phone open and was showing me something on it, after his phone went to what I assume to be his texts and I saw the name "Victoria" I want to know how to appropriatly react to this as I cant make an assumtion from that alone. Maybe it was a cousin, a coworker, or he couldnt be talking to another girl behind my back. So should I ask him about this? I want to also mention that I have come to be able to spot bad guys when I see them, I can honestly say he is a good guy, he has a good heart. He's not the player type whatsoever. If anything I'm alittle out of his league. He's not the sauve overly handsome smooth talker type of guy I'm used to. He also has a very busy work schedule and spends most of his free time with me, always leaving his nights free for me as he knows I'm busy during the day. He texts me everyday. Always intiates contact first. After being with dishonest players in the past, this guy is a breath of fresh air. I feel safe with him. However when I saw the name "Victoria" in his texts I automaticly assumed the worst. I have been lied to over and over by my previous ex, pretty sure he cheated on me. I really do not want to carry my previous relationship baggage into this relationship so..... How do I handle this? What I am supposed to think about this?
Popsicle Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Just say, "Who is Victoria?" in a non-confrontational way. You will find out then if she is a friend, relative, coworker, etc. 1
Author Dis Posted April 21, 2016 Author Posted April 21, 2016 Just say, "Who is Victoria?" in a non-confrontational way. You will find out then if she is a friend, relative, coworker, etc. Great idea. I would have done that when I saw it but my mind automaticly freaked out so I didnt day anything. I'm not seeing him for another day or two so how do I bring it up now. Over text/ Wait until in person? Is this probably a really bad thing??? ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE THERE WAS A LAST NAME AT THE END OF "VICTORIA" BUT I'M NOT 100% SURE
Author Dis Posted April 21, 2016 Author Posted April 21, 2016 ***He has also talked about how trust is very important to him, how he has been lied to in the past. I told him I have too. He said if he's with me he trusts me 100%***
Popsicle Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Great idea. I would have done that when I saw it but my mind automaticly freaked out so I didnt day anything. I'm not seeing him for another day or two so how do I bring it up now. Over text/ Wait until in person? Is this probably a really bad thing??? ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE THERE WAS A LAST NAME AT THE END OF "VICTORIA" BUT I'M NOT 100% SURE Do it in person. BE CALM THOUGH. LOL 2
selinaluv Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Try not to jump to conclusions to quickly, though I know it is hard. I have a few male coworkers in my phone. We text on occasion and it is strictly work related. That could be the case here.
basil67 Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Asking him at the time wouldn't have been weird, but bringing it up later would just make you look really insecure and odd. Let it go. 4
Popsicle Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Trust is earned and it doesn't take a lot of work to answer one question.
Haydn Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 Why say anything? I have friends who are girls and their numbers are in my phone. As does my better half, have friends who are blokes. What if he knows others girls? You`ll ask who they are as well? Forget it. 8
Popsicle Posted April 21, 2016 Posted April 21, 2016 What's wrong with asking? How would she know otherwise? Is it smart to assume? It's a simple question, imo. If I was asked "Who is Steve?", I would say, "That's my brother". Simple.
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