cupcakesnpudding Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm sure I'm not the only person who has posted about this before but I thought I might get other people's advice and thoughts. So I've been in a relationship for about 4 months now with my current boyfriend. We dated for a few months before that and then made it "official". Anyway, he's pretty great he makes me laugh and I can just be myself around him, etc etc. Point is even though he is not perfect and has his flaws I really like him and want to be with him. But ever since we've been dating I also can't help but to think about someone else and it's driving me crazy! I feel terrible about it too. The guy I've been thinking about was a former coworker that I worked with for about 6 months. At first we weren't super friendly toward each other but eventually we started chatting and about 2 months or so before I quit he started flirting with me. He would grin and wave at me from across the room, would compliment me and say how I was one of the smartest persons that worked there and that the more he got to know me the more interesting I was to him, called me an angel and other endearing names etc etc. I never really flirted back too hard since I was already sort of seeing my current BF (we were just dating not really "officially" together) but I still developed a bit of a crush on him. When he found out I was in a relationship he said something like "so what does that mean I can't be your boyfriend now?" I told him we could still hang out as friends. Anyway, it's been a few months since I left that job and we haven't hung out so nothing's really happened but we've messaged each other a few times since I left so I still can't really get him out of my mind. I'm very happy with my current boyfriend though and I can't imagine breaking up with him but at the same time I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I was dating this other guy... Anyway, I guess the easiest solution would be to just stop messaging him completely and then eventually I'll get over this irrational crush. Any thoughts or suggestions?
SoThatHappened Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 This isn't fair to your current BF. I'd cut ties with the old coworker and keep seeing the guy that makes you happy (your current guy).
dumbass2 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Tell your ex co-worker that you are sorry, but you wont be able to stay in contact because it isn't fair to your boyfriend and tell him to please not contact you again. He should understand that and if he doesn't and gets upset or continues to try and contact you, then that should tell you something about him and not in a good way. Concentrate on your current boyfriend. It sounds like you two get along great. Give it your all and see where it goes. If you don't, you might regret it later on. 1
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 This co-worker will not be your last crush, there will be others you work with or meet that will sweep you off your feet. All it takes is just simply stop thinking about him and he will become less important to you. Go NC.
Blanco Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Crushes are fine and, really, to be expected, even when in exclusive relationships. What you're doing now by still messaging this guy, however, is laying the groundwork for an emotional affair.
Versacehottie Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm sure I'm not the only person who has posted about this before but I thought I might get other people's advice and thoughts. So I've been in a relationship for about 4 months now with my current boyfriend. We dated for a few months before that and then made it "official". Anyway, he's pretty great he makes me laugh and I can just be myself around him, etc etc. Point is even though he is not perfect and has his flaws I really like him and want to be with him. But ever since we've been dating I also can't help but to think about someone else and it's driving me crazy! I feel terrible about it too. The guy I've been thinking about was a former coworker that I worked with for about 6 months. At first we weren't super friendly toward each other but eventually we started chatting and about 2 months or so before I quit he started flirting with me. He would grin and wave at me from across the room, would compliment me and say how I was one of the smartest persons that worked there and that the more he got to know me the more interesting I was to him, called me an angel and other endearing names etc etc. I never really flirted back too hard since I was already sort of seeing my current BF (we were just dating not really "officially" together) but I still developed a bit of a crush on him. When he found out I was in a relationship he said something like "so what does that mean I can't be your boyfriend now?" I told him we could still hang out as friends. Anyway, it's been a few months since I left that job and we haven't hung out so nothing's really happened but we've messaged each other a few times since I left so I still can't really get him out of my mind. I'm very happy with my current boyfriend though and I can't imagine breaking up with him but at the same time I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I was dating this other guy... Anyway, I guess the easiest solution would be to just stop messaging him completely and then eventually I'll get over this irrational crush. Any thoughts or suggestions? Bolded is both the reason and the solution. You don't really "know" what it would be like if this other guy was your bf. It's essentially a fantasy. What you have with your bf is real and good and a "known" thing. It's kinda normal (i think) to mourn the loss of exploring other opportunities. In a way, I bet your are more connected to THAT than actually this guy. I think you need to stop messaging him because it just fuels the excitement. Look at it like this, if for some reason you break up with your boyfriend in the future, you can explore this guy or other guys at that time. But don't mess up a good thing. They are rare enough! Hold yourself to a higher standard. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 You have GIGs. You do need to make choices: Either cut ties with the crush & focus on your relationship. Or break up with your BF & pursue the crush. 1
Recommended Posts