cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I went on three dates with this guy, all went really well. He took me out for dinner (wouldn't let me pay) and even brought me dinner. He kept making future plans with me and then he ghosted me ?!?? Why the hell would someone spend so much money on someone they are just going to ghost ? I am butt Hutt because I thought this guy was geniwine
RedPurpleOrange Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Probably because if he chose to break it off, you wouldn't have lost out. Keeping his options open but paying his way so as not to feel too bad/guilty. Probably.
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 Probably because if he chose to break it off, you wouldn't have lost out. Keeping his options open but paying his way so as not to feel too bad/guilty. Probably. Could you clarify this a bit more ?
RedPurpleOrange Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Well...he probably didn't want to commit too hard and wanted to keep his options open. But probably had an element of decency to him...so by paying for all your dates, even though he effectively ghosted you...at least he didn't fleece you of your cash. So, even though inside he knows he was a bit of a cad, he doesn't have the guilt of knowing that he TOTALLY took you for a ride. At least he paid his way and you didn't lose out financially.
Zahara Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Maybe his wife or girlfriend found out about his secret nights out with you.
katiegrl Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Or maybe he liked you at first but after spending more time, something turned him off. Nothing against you, he just wasn't feeling it after three dates. Very very common .... it was very nice of him to take you out and pay for the dates though. By the way, have you contacted him at all? 1
basil67 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Paying for a date does not imply that a guy is necessarily serious about you. Perhaps he just believes that men should pay. Oh well, onwards and upwards 4
katiegrl Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) I went on three dates with this guy, all went really well. He took me out for dinner (wouldn't let me pay) and even brought me dinner. He kept making future plans with me and then he ghosted me ?!?? Why the hell would someone spend so much money on someone they are just going to ghost ? I am butt Hutt because I thought this guy was geniwine I am wondering, after only three dates would you prefer he contact you to tell you he just wasn't feeling it? Would that make you feel better? I don't get some people, they go out on a few dates and then expect the other person to be committed for life or something.... lest they think he is not genuine.... or a creep or worse. OP that is why we date. Usually it is around two or three before we determine if there is or isn't much there to move forward. Did you have sex with him and then he ghosted? Is that why you don't think he's genuine? Can you clarify? Edited April 18, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 I am wondering, after only three dates would you prefer he contact you to tell you he just wasn't feeling it? Would that make you feel better? I don't get some people, they go out on a few dates and then expect the other person to be committed for life or something.... lest they think he is not genuine.... or a creep or worse. OP that is why we date. Usually it is around two or three before we determine there isn't much there to move forward. Did you have sex with him and then he ghosted? Is that why you don't think he's genuine? Can you clarify? Yes it would make me feel better to tell me he's not interested anymore. I meant to say also in the first message he brought me flowers and dinner. Why waste all the money just to ghost. And no I didn't sleep with him
katiegrl Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) Yes it would make me feel better to tell me he's not interested anymore. I meant to say also in the first message he brought me flowers and dinner. Why waste all the money just to ghost. And no I didn't sleep with him It wasn't a waste, he wanted to do it, I am sure he liked you so it was his pleasure to do those things. But as I said, as wonderful as you are, after three dates maybe he just wasn't feeling it. Or maybe he is waiting for you to take some initiative. After three dates, why don't you contact him and initiate something? If he is not interested anymore, he will tell you. Or maybe he will say yes! Or do you expect him to do all the work? It doesn't work that way anymore. Men need and expect some reciprocation. Edited April 18, 2016 by katiegrl 3
dumbass2 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 My guess is that he all ready has a girlfriend or wife or an ex he is not over and she pissed him off so he went out on her or, he was dating you and someone else at the same time and just chose the other girl. Probably didn't want to get into the questions and all that "why" stuff after only 3 dates. Have you tried to contact him and he is just ignoring you? If you have already tried a few times to contact him, then leave it alone. He may contact you again. You just never know what's going on in someones life. There rarely is a good reason for ignoring someone unless that person is in a coma in the hospital. 1
ltjg45 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Yes it would make me feel better to tell me he's not interested anymore. I meant to say also in the first message he brought me flowers and dinner. Why waste all the money just to ghost. And no I didn't sleep with him It's easy for you to say what is being bolded but I am sure the guy you was dating didn't feel that way. I wouldn't be surprised if he did this in the past only to get a rude response back from the woman he just dumped. So now he rather just ghost than let you know directly that he is breaking up with you. If what I said is true, I don't blame him. If I had his experience, I would have done the same and I refuse to apologize for it. After all, it only been 3 dates. He doesn't know you completely like that, especially your bad sides. Also, he is not committed to you in anyway. There's no need for him to "break up" with you when you aren't even BF/GF.
SwordofFlame Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Another possible reason is he wanted sex after three dates and if he didn't get it, he was moving on.
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 My guess is that he all ready has a girlfriend or wife or an ex he is not over and she pissed him off so he went out on her or, he was dating you and someone else at the same time and just chose the other girl. Probably didn't want to get into the questions and all that "why" stuff after only 3 dates. Have you tried to contact him and he is just ignoring you? If you have already tried a few times to contact him, then leave it alone. He may contact you again. You just never know what's going on in someones life. There rarely is a good reason for ignoring someone unless that person is in a coma in the hospital. I did try contacting him and we made plans to hang out Tuesday and he was saying how he can't wait to see me and is counting down the days. Then I asked how he's doing and he just stopped replying
dumbass2 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I did try contacting him and we made plans to hang out Tuesday and he was saying how he can't wait to see me and is counting down the days. Then I asked how he's doing and he just stopped replying When did you ask him how he's doing?
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 When did you ask him how he's doing? Last night
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 It wasn't a waste, he wanted to do it, I am sure he liked you so it was his pleasure to do those things. But as I said, as wonderful as you are, after three dates maybe he just wasn't feeling it. Or maybe he is waiting for you to take some initiative. After three dates, why don't you contact him and initiate something? If he is not interested anymore, he will tell you. Or maybe he will say yes! Or do you expect him to do all the work? It doesn't work that way anymore. Men need and expect some reciprocation. I asked him to hang out again and we made plans for Tuesday and then he dissappeared
dumbass2 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 so it's been about 24 hours since you text him. When is the last time he communicated with you and what did he say?
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 so it's been about 24 hours since you text him. When is the last time he communicated with you and what did he say? Yesterday afternoon saying he was really excited for our next hangout n how was my night
dumbass2 Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 So you said the plans for Tuesday were set. So you know where you are going and what time? Is he picking you up or meeting you?
Popsicle Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I don't think he ghosted. I think you're just being paranoid. 1
katiegrl Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Yesterday afternoon saying he was really excited for our next hangout n how was my night What makes you think he ghosted? What am I missing?
hugsandkisses Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm dumbstruck as to how good guys are at faking being genuine. Why would they make future plans with the ladies and then ghost and have no decency to be honest and tell them the truth. This has happened to me before and til this day it makes me question every guy that I see potential in. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
katiegrl Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 I'm dumbstruck as to how good guys are at faking being genuine. Why would they make future plans with the ladies and then ghost and have no decency to be honest and tell them the truth. This has happened to me before and til this day it makes me question every guy that I see potential in. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Less than 24 hours ago he told her he was excited for their next date which is tomorrow! I am hard-pressed trying to wrap my head around how this could be considered ghosting. 1
hugsandkisses Posted April 18, 2016 Posted April 18, 2016 Less than 24 hours ago he told her he was excited for their next date which is tomorrow! I am hard-pressed trying to wrap my head around how this could be considered ghosting. Oh, then I definitely missed out on this piece of info. If he has said that, then it seems like everything is on track.
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