Friend moving out of state and afraid wont see her again

[jashash]

I am so upset, this friend from church is leaving and applying for a religious ministry school out of state in the fall and then right after that is moving out of state to be with her boyfriend who is in the military and is stationed there next. Like forever. On top of that, she hasnt been going to small group and wont be going for the next month because shes in a play, and then she has a wedding to go to this summer that she is going to instead of going on this church road trip. Apparently the dates have already been set so she knows she wont be able to go on the trip. So I will never be able to see her ever again after this summer and on top of that she wont even be going on the church road trip which will be the last opportunity to go on the road trip with her ever! She said she wished she could go but had a close childhood friends wedding that same weekend.When I asked if she would ever be going on the trip again or if I would ever see her again she said ehh probably, we will see, I mean Im going to be so busy with my boyfriend aka future husband and we cant go on trips with the church or see each other forever. Like it was no big deal! Omg! I am so upset and she doesnt even care that she wont ever see me again.

I was just wondering if it would be unreasonable to ask the pastor to change the date of the trip (in August) so that she can go since this is the last chance I have at going on a trip with her and I wont ever see her again. And I cant drive so its not like I can visit her either. Do you think I could ask her if we could plan a road trip of our own with some people from church?

[Deirdra]

You don't drive but can't you fly? She's going to be out of state. I don't understand why you keeping saying you won't see her again "ever."

[privategal]

She has so much on her mind.

So many things are changing, she is excited, nervous, alot to do.

Im sure she does care but she might be emotionally prepared for your friendship to change.

It is hard for one friend to feel left behind and still very attached to the friend moving away.

You are still connected to THIS life, the old friendship, things not changing.

She is mentally preparing for the next phase which unfortunately means leaving people behind.

But people and their priorities do shift and change and thats hard to accept and its hurtful when you feel left out of her new life and will miss her.

Id begin to process and let her go. Once she moves, reach out and be the best friend you can be to her while also being patient that she is adjusting, meeting new people and in a different phase.

Try not to take it personally.

Give her time to adjust and change.

Allow the changes to happen in your friendship and accept them.

She doesnt want to go on the trip because shes basically saying she has outgrown the trips and is anticipating moving on. Not from you but from everything.

Maybe update some new goals for yourself, count the blessing of the good friends around you and try to just let her go and build a new life.

Think positive, its not personal but Ive been there and agree it hurts.

I had a best friend and he dropped me after I moved away. I was devastated to lose my friend but after some time now Im doing better and accepting it.

Dont cling to her. Be there but also start to branch out to other new things and people in your own life too.

[jashash]

Why does her moving mean our friendship has to end or change? Her being emotionally prepared for our friendship to change means she wont miss me or care if it does?