bolase Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 (edited) Backstory: been with my boyfriend for 11months, I'm 31, he's 29. He is a field biologist who is based in remote places with limited reception, I work in a big city 6hrs drive away in a job i really like. We see each other approx once every 2-3 weekends and take turns travelling. Somehow despite 10 out of 11 months being long distance, we've survived this far - bf is an incredibly kind, dedicated, passionate, hard working and special person. We love each other and he has expressed things like; he wants to grow old with me, im the best he's every had, etc. The problem is that I've gradually come to resent the distance and because he works in the forest, I can't contact him at all while he's there - I wait for 1-3 calls a week (for which he has to climb a mountain!) but I just need more. Tonight I broke down in tears and told him that it's too hard not knowing when we'll be in the same place. He thought I was giving him an ultimatum between stopping working in his current job and breaking up w me, but I said that's not the case, I could also move, just think about what is workable in your life and what you want because I need us to see each other more. He's previously said he does want to live together, but I can't see him actually making this happen. Then his battery died which he warned me about at the start of the call :/ So my question is, what can I do in this situation? Is it doomed w no end date? I respect his job tons, but realistically if he's going to raise a family one day and look after his parents in a decade or so, he can't live in the forest almost full time..I don't know what he really sees in his future. I will wait for his response but can't push it further. Feeling very sad about this, and for making him feel guilty about being out of contact. Edited April 17, 2016 by bolase
LydiaLong Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 Well, I guess it depends on how much you love him. True love can overcome all obstacles. Just think about the military wives who have to be without their husbands for 6 months at a time.
big dog Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 If you really love him it'll work out in due time. It'll take some good honest communication and patience from both of you. I wish you the best...
Deirdra Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 You're asking all the right questions. There isn't more you can do at this point, except decide if you're staying or going should he come back with "I see a future for us. But I want to give this job more time." Honestly, if he is marriage/family-minded, he will be thinking about his circumstances long and hard now. He should be thinking of this anyway. Sustaining a relationship on only 1-3 calls a week?! That's crazy! Ball really is in his court.
Deirdra Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 Well, I guess it depends on how much you love him. True love can overcome all obstacles. Just think about the military wives who have to be without their husbands for 6 months at a time. There is a high rate of infidelity in the military. No doubt due, in part, to all the time husbands and wives spend away from one another.
Recommended Posts