yellowhibiscus Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 I was asked out by a guy and I gave him my number. The same day he texted me just saying hi in the afternoon. I also received a text at 11:00 pm last night from him and I was just about falling asleep. I found it odd that he would text someone he just met at 11:00 pm. I've been out of the dating scene for awhile and this just seems like bad etiquette. What do you think? I have not yet gone out with him and am kind of wondering if I should say no now.
Zahara Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Usually, late night texts mean booty call. If I was interested in someone, I'd be sure to reach out at an appropriate time and extend a proper invite for a date, rather than play texting, especially at 11PM. So many hours in the day to connect and communicate.
Author yellowhibiscus Posted April 16, 2016 Author Posted April 16, 2016 Thanks, I kind of thought that too...except he was just texting me to tell me that he was finally home after band practice and that was the extent of it. It was just a little weird to me. I would never text someone I barely knew that late at night.
Zahara Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Thanks, I kind of thought that too...except he was just texting me to tell me that he was finally home after band practice and that was the extent of it. It was just a little weird to me. I would never text someone I barely knew that late at night. First contact can be about anything -- it's the opening line leading into a possible conversation about coming over. They can't come out right and ask you to come over for sex -- they have to ease into it. Who knows -- maybe he's genuine. See where he goes from here.
ASG Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 To be honest, I get more upset about early morning texts than 11pm ones. 11pm is not "late at night" for me. Whereas someone texting me at 7am will most definitely wake me up and put me in a bad mood... So it really depends. I don't even class "booty calls" until gone 1am. Before that it could still be a legit hangout (in my world, that is, that revolves around working evenings and no early mornings). So I wouldn't dismiss it on that alone.
basil67 Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Seems to me to be an age thing. I'm old and would never initiate a text between 9:30pm and 9am. My phone is also on 'silent' from 10pm to 7am But young people seem to initiate texts at all times of the day and night. 2
Shanex Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Seems to me to be an age thing. I'm old and would never initiate a text between 9:30pm and 9am. My phone is also on 'silent' from 10pm to 7am But young people seem to initiate texts at all times of the day and night. This. Though it depend where you draw the young people line. I'm past 30s and tolerate late evening/night texts even from friends. My father wouldn't want to be woke up at 2am by some bugger that's for sure.
thecrucible Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 I reply to texts whenever I find a spare minute. Maybe this guy is just keen and wants to show his interest? If he is only after a booty call, you will know soon enough because he will trail off. @Basil - I like your idea about limiting texting to certain times. Unless I was in a relationship with a guy, I usually wouldn't reply to any text that late as it sets some kind of expectation that you will always do so. If you limit to certain you are keeping some time to yourself not to be bothered I dunno, I just don't really do texting though.
ASG Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 Seems to me to be an age thing. I'm old and would never initiate a text between 9:30pm and 9am. My phone is also on 'silent' from 10pm to 7am But young people seem to initiate texts at all times of the day and night. Yeah, I guess this is accurate. I'm in my 30s, but an avid texter. And sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and check my phone and see texts from friends. And I might reply. At 4am! My phone is always on silent, though. And the vibration only wakes me up if I'm in a light sleep phase.
elaine567 Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 Thanks, I kind of thought that too...except he was just texting me to tell me that he was finally home after band practice and that was the extent of it. It was just a little weird to me. I would never text someone I barely knew that late at night. I don't think that is a booty call as it doesn't sound like he invited himself over or suggest you come over to his, he was just saying good night basically. 11pm is "late" for an early riser but for a night owl it is fine. 1
Otter2569 Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 If it was not a booty call I wouldn't read o much into it. Simply tell him that you don't check your phone after x and before y. Or as I do: at a certain time of the night I put my phone on mute and turn it face down. I look again when I wake up or over a cup of coffee.
Methodical Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 My guess is that he was trying to show interest and keep himself on your radar. FWIW, it sounds nothing like a booty call text. As far as texting etiquette goes, that varies depending on whom you ask. Some ppl use it as their main form of communication, others couldn't care less for it. As for the time, I think that is also subjective depending on one's lifestyle. It's easy to suggestion someone turn off their phone or switch it to vibrate but that's not always practical bc you want your close peeps to be able to reach you in the event of an emergency. I wouldn't automatically ditch a guy bc he sent a text too late for my liking. I suggest you give him chance but let him know that you aren't fond of receiving calls or texts between the hours X - Z. If he doesn't abide by your wishes, then blip him off your radar.
loveweary11 Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 (edited) No, no, no. Phones are on 24/7 and muted when you sleep. That's the accepted rule. I wake up at 3:00am and text whoever I have something I needed to mention something to. Someone I just met, my mother, a friend, whoever. Texting is only synchronous communication when both parties want it to be. It falls back to asynchronous communication (like email) in off hours. There is no expectation for you to reply until the next day to a late night text. If you were also awake and in the mood to text, you would have. Otherwise, no big deal, you'll respond the next day. You are reading way too deeply into it. Edited April 17, 2016 by loveweary11
alphamale Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 I have not yet gone out with him and am kind of wondering if I should say no now. you should say no, he sounds like a loser
MissBee Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 I was asked out by a guy and I gave him my number. The same day he texted me just saying hi in the afternoon. I also received a text at 11:00 pm last night from him and I was just about falling asleep. I found it odd that he would text someone he just met at 11:00 pm. I've been out of the dating scene for awhile and this just seems like bad etiquette. What do you think? I have not yet gone out with him and am kind of wondering if I should say no now. Usually that's the first sign of what's called a "fuqboy," someone who texts you at ungodly hours asking what you're doing or striking up "casual" conversation, usually with the intention of inviting themselves over for "fun." If you haven't heard from a man ALL day until the wee hours....be suspicious.
smackie9 Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 I think you are over reacting....if it's not an appropriate hour for you, then don't bother looking and leave it for the morning. What might be late for someone, may not be for another. Everyone keeps a different schedule. He just got home and took a shot to see if you were up, no big deal. Obviously this guy likes you and thought you might be into some chat. If it's not your thing then don't bother going out with him, it would be a compatibility issue because you both keep different hours.
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