Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Evening,

 

I'm a male 32yrs old, been single for over a year now after my last breakup. Wasn't very enjoyable so just took time out & said I would only go back to dating if something special came along. Special did come along about 2 wks ago.I met her on my walk to work. Asked her out, exchanged details. When she got in touch, we arranged to meet up & exchanged some messages. Everything about her appealed to me, especially in terms of how she just seemed nice.

 

 

We went on the date & in my opinon it went really well, took her for food we chatted, laughed & joked all eve. I walked her home & while we was mid convo, I grabbed her arm & kissed her. Told her I was interested in what she was saying, but id been wanting to kiss her all eve. She laughed & said "I'm glad you did" so I dropped her off at the station , she said she had a great time, kissed me. & I told her to message me when she got home.

 

She did & asked if I had got home, I messaged her saying "just got in, you should know I had a great time with you tonight :)"

 

she read the message (whatsapp) & has yet to reply. It's been over 24hrs now. & I'm second guessing myself. I don't know what to do from here? based on past experiences if a girl is into me she will be keen to message & follow up. given that before we went on a date she wouldnt go 2hrs without messaging me.

 

any help would be appreciated, it's hurting me head :(

Posted

What was she supposed to follow up with you about? She let you know she got home safe. You told her you had a nice time. She'd already told you earlier she had a great time. What about that means she owes you a text? Not everyone does the constant texting crap. You can't make a person just keep texting by never stopping texting back yourself. It's tiring.

  • Like 2
Posted

You like her? Ask her out again. Take the initiative to do so and see how she responds.

Posted

Yup, the next move is for you to ask her out again. From what I've seen on here, I'm not sure a lot of women do much amusing out.

Posted

It'll be because she isn't quite sure what to say. She may wonder why you said you enjoyed yourself but didn't actually ask her out in the last text? But don't worry about it - just shoot her an easy going text, ask her if she wants to do it again or invite to an event you know locally that you think you'd both enjoy.

Posted

Try to relax a little. I've been in your shoes plenty of times and when I was younger I would panic and second guess myself just as you're doing now.

 

When you feel like seeing her again just ask her out. Cut the bull****, be honest and just tell her you want to see her again.

 

If anything be thankful that she's not one of those girls that is glued to her phone constantly texting nonsense for the sake of it.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

first responder, it wasn't my intention to "make" her text back. Pre date she was messaging me consistently every time I had a break at work I would come back to a message from her. Post date that has ceased. All I'm trying to decipher is if she has changed her stance post date. Last thing I want to do is follow up asking her out & making her feel awkward if she not even feeling the idea of seeing me again.

 

Appreciate everyone else's input, as it happens I have a spare ticket to an event this Wednesday, do you think that would be a good idea?

Posted
first responder, it wasn't my intention to "make" her text back. Pre date she was messaging me consistently every time I had a break at work I would come back to a message from her. Post date that has ceased. All I'm trying to decipher is if she has changed her stance post date. Last thing I want to do is follow up asking her out & making her feel awkward if she not even feeling the idea of seeing me again.

 

Appreciate everyone else's input, as it happens I have a spare ticket to an event this Wednesday, do you think that would be a good idea?

 

So what if you ask her out again and she feels awkward! That's her problem, not yours. If everyone thought that way no one would ever ask anyone out.

 

Yeah, just tell her you have a spare ticket to whatever it is you're already going to and that you'd love her to join you.

  • Author
Posted

So she sent me a message Sunday morning saying

 

"Hey! How are you? Hope you having a good weekend, can't believe it's Sunday already! :("

 

I responded about an hour later saying

 

"hey yourself :) I don't even know what happened to Saturday! but am good, just at gym. Did you end up going ballet? am sure the appeal of men in tights would of persuaded you! haha"

 

this was in reference to her being invited to go watch ballet & deliberating whether to go or not.

 

She read the message 10mins later & she didn't reply. it's been over a day. No I know the original responder had a rant about messages but she initiated & then went quiet.

 

I have no idea what to do, because I asked her a direct question & she just ignored it. plus I intended to ask her out but if she not even replying to a message like that is there any point?

Posted

Just ask her out. Her saying 'I cant believe it's Sunday already' very much reads like she's wondering why you haven't already.

Posted
So she sent me a message Sunday morning saying

 

"Hey! How are you? Hope you having a good weekend, can't believe it's Sunday already! :("

 

I responded about an hour later saying

 

"hey yourself :) I don't even know what happened to Saturday! but am good, just at gym. Did you end up going ballet? am sure the appeal of men in tights would of persuaded you! haha"

With all that waffle maybe she thinks you're just looking for a pen pal?

 

Next time cut the chatter and go straight for the next date plans.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
With all that waffle maybe she thinks you're just looking for a pen pal?

 

Next time cut the chatter and go straight for the next date plans.

 

So am I waiting for her to message me or just go straight to ask about date?

Posted

I'd say you've got nothing to lose by asking her out again.

 

You either get a yes, a no, or no reply.

Posted (edited)
So she sent me a message Sunday morning

 

So you didn't spend the weekend together?

 

I'd be wary of people texting on a Sunday. It's what I have done to people I consider a low priority.

 

The weekend's gone, and she's just sending out feelers.

 

Starting to look like a woman with options IMO.

 

She's spinning plates. You are the proverbial 'plate' being spun. The text keeps you spinning.

 

I responded about an hour later saying

 

"hey yourself I don't even know what happened to Saturday! but am good, just at gym. Did you end up going ballet? am sure the appeal of men in tights would of persuaded you! haha"

 

Fair enough.

 

But my attitude would have been a bit more 'what do you want?' :laugh:

 

She read the message 10mins later & she didn't reply. it's been over a day.

 

Now this is really bad - just disrespectful. She could have at least given you a short convo.

 

Obvious game playing is obvious.

 

Now I know the original responder had a rant about messages

 

You shouldn't let crankiness get to you ;)

 

I have no idea what to do

 

You demote her. She is no longer your #1, because she's too unreliable.

 

Don't give her anymore weekend dates. Hit her up randomly when you're bored in the week.

Edited by Jabron1
Posted

Can I make a suggestion here.

 

Just phone the girl.

 

People have lives and get distracted. Just ring her and see!

  • Like 2
Posted

If I've learnt one thing over the years it's this; use the phone to make a date and nothing more. Cut the chit chat, it's pointless and boring if you don't mind me being blunt.

 

Be that one guy who only makes contact to organise a date. Good quality women are bound to have a number of guys chasing them and most guys will be doing what you are doing to some extent, texting her boring, pointless messages that don't go anywhere. Be confident enough to tell her what you want. You want to see her again? Then tell her that and nothing more.

  • Author
Posted

Really appreciate the messages, given me a lot of perspective & has helped me not to stress about it. It tells me that I like her because In past all girls i have dated I have never felt like this.

 

Am just going to leave it a couple of days & if I have heard nothing still I will drop her a call

  • Author
Posted

jabron1 really appreciate you taking time to reply to that with all that depth.

 

We spent Friday night together & that was it.

 

definitely a woman with options & I am just a plate being spun!

 

I've been round the block long enough to understand that if a girl ain't messaging you she on someone else's line.

Posted

Just don't let her games make you chase her around.

 

Stay cool, McNabb ;)

 

  • Like 1
Posted
jabron1 really appreciate you taking time to reply to that with all that depth.

 

We spent Friday night together & that was it.

 

definitely a woman with options & I am just a plate being spun!

 

I've been round the block long enough to understand that if a girl ain't messaging you she on someone else's line.

 

Not necessarily. As frustrating as it is a lot of girls play games like this.

  • Author
Posted
Just don't let her games make you chase her around.

 

Stay cool, McNabb ;)

 

 

I actually feel a lot better for having watched that vid :)

  • Author
Posted

"Thankfully (excluding men in tights) I didn't end up going to the ballet, but I did end up out for my bud's birthday. Hideous hangover yesterday.! ?

I'm now spending my Monday catsitting - my lovely little pet decided to eat ant killer and vomit everywhere this morning ?"

 

This was her reply... (above) yesterday late afternoon

 

I replied by asking her to come to an event with my onThursday, she not even read the message & it's almost a day since.

 

am thinking do I chase it up? or just invite a friend of mine to go because the longer I leave it I'll end up going alone

Posted

If a man has not contacted within the first 24-48 hours after the first encounter, he is not interested or he will just be a friend rather than a bf. I am now extending this to text messages / phone calls. If the man is really interested he will call, not text. The ones who text even within 24-48 hours are like the ones who call a week later - they are mildly interested, you may even have a second encounter with them, but you will not see or hear from them again after that second encounter. He's just checking if you were waiting by the phone or maybe he's lonely and wants someone to be with for another evening, but it won't go anywhere after that.

 

Sad but true.

  • Author
Posted

appreciate the input but do you realise I'm a guy? ?

Posted
If a man has not contacted within the first 24-48 hours after the first encounter, he is not interested or he will just be a friend rather than a bf. I am now extending this to text messages / phone calls. If the man is really interested he will call, not text. The ones who text even within 24-48 hours are like the ones who call a week later - they are mildly interested, you may even have a second encounter with them, but you will not see or hear from them again after that second encounter. He's just checking if you were waiting by the phone or maybe he's lonely and wants someone to be with for another evening, but it won't go anywhere after that.

 

Sad but true.

 

Not 'sad but true', at the very least not a universal rule.

 

I hate calling. I don't know if it's a generational thing or I'm just awkward like that, but that's the way it is. No matter my interest, it is very unlikely I'll ever call to set up a date, if the option to either text or do it in person is available. Does that mean I'm only ever luke warm over women?

 

And I'm sure I'm not alone here.

×
×
  • Create New...