Can I trust her?

[Buddhist]

I feel as if she may have some emotional attachment to him or something. Am I overreacting? or am I justified to feel this way?

I am really confused.

 

Maybe she does. Maybe through working with him she got to know him better and discovered that making fun of someone is judgemental and immature and she doesn't want to do that anymore.

 

You don't need justification to feel anything. But be careful about projecting your own insecurities onto the situation. She is probably just appreciating him as a person, she's allowed to do that.

[Buddhist]

Well i just dumped her. I cannot move on with a cheater.

 

Ha All these are signs of cheating. anyway ths for your opinion

 

No. All those are signs that she has a friendship outside of you and no longer wishes to comply with your overly demanding nature. Good job you dumped her because I somehow think she is better off this way.

[rnfydwnd]

No. All those are signs that she has a friendship outside of you and no longer wishes to comply with your overly demanding nature. Good job you dumped her because I somehow think she is better off this way.

 

Well i don't get exactly which part is demanding. I texted her she did not reply early. Then I obviously did not complain anything about it. It is just her who said she was busy. If i don't reply her quick, she becomes upset. She always ask me to show her my text messages. And i always show them to her. And she sometime gets offensive if i do the same. When we are both busy, she always ask me to cook. And everything is this way. And she never dresses up even when we go out for a date. And she often dresses up when she goes to lib ir to group meeting without me. Is this a demanding nature?

[katiegrl]

Well i don't get exactly which part is demanding. I texted her she did not reply early. Then I obviously did not complain anything about it. It is just her who said she was busy. If i don't reply her quick, she becomes upset. She always ask me to show her my text messages. And i always show them to her. And she sometime gets offensive if i do the same. When we are both busy, she always ask me to cook. And everything is this way. And she never dresses up even when we go out for a date. And she often dresses up when she goes to lib ir to group meeting without me. Is this a demanding nature?

 

You know what?

 

I agree with you.

 

YOU know the situation better than any of us and if your gut is screaming she is cheating with this guy, then I for one am glad you paid attention to that!

 

So many people ignore their gut, ignore red flags and continue on ..... only to have it fall to pieces eventually anyway.

 

THEN they say, oh I should have listened to my gut!

 

And for the record, her behavior definitely sounds suspicious, others can justify it until hell freezes over, but IMO something was (is) going on and you did the right thing.

 

Good luck moving forward...

[frus69]

From your first post (your GF, or ex rather, got excited when she saw her crush) I already told you she doesn't really like you and you shouldn't have got together with her at the first place. You were the security blanket.

 

 

Now it's more obvious, she has an attention spam of a gold fish. I think she def has a crush on other guys. I also think you made the right decision dumping her

[d0nnivain]

It's good that you ended the relationship because she was pulling away from you. I do think she has been ignoring you but I still see no proof of cheating. Either way, you haven't been happy lately. You have been jealous & demanding. So it's better that it's over.

 

 

Do be cautious going forward about how much responsiveness you expect from an SO. In school texting back during class is one thing but since you will be getting a Master's degree & presumably a high level job, don't think you will have the kind of free time you have now to be constantly available to an SO or them too you. The real world is going to be a wake up for you. Be ready.

[rnfydwnd]

Well..there was a girl who has been chasing me since the start of the Master's program. And now I am with her. I truly feel sorry that I came to her now. Did not know I should have been with her instead. She even comfort me for this incidence. I am gonna focus on her now. Thx for advice guys

[JAbba2gEther]

Hello. Thank you for asking about this question of your feelings. You appear to be feeling a little insecure about your girlfriend’s friendship with a colleague in her class. You want to clarify whether you may be overreacting or justified in your thoughts.

 

Any committed friendship always requires adjustments. You have found a girl in your Mater’s program, and seem ready to explore whether this relationship will be enduring. You thought that your girlfriend acts in a particular manner, but suddenly she changes her habits, which surprises you. Once you shared the same response towards another male colleague, but now you realise she has gotten to know this person a little more through sharing the same class; and may not necessarily share the same thoughts about him as she once did.

 

I wonder if celebrating her growth is something that is required in this situation? You stated she always wanted to wear earrings and makeup, but she was too shy to do so. But now, after a few months she may have decided to take the courage to do so. Is this showing that your girlfriend is growing and gaining confidence in herself? Rather than seeing it a result of her impressing another guy, perhaps it is that she wants to feel more confident within herself and, well, has it made her appear prettier in your eyes too? Have you shared your awareness of this change to her in a positive way?

 

To have a girlfriend who shows compassion to another student may not be necessarily pointing towards her being unfaithful to her. I, for one, appreciate my friends showing kindness to others. Perhaps she is realising that kindness is far more a gift to give to people than making fun of them.

 

To summarise, your girlfriend has shown two qualities that are admirable. Firstly, she is showing courage and concern for her appearance. This may benefit you in the future, and cannot suggest that she is doing so to impress any other person beside herself. Secondly, her response stating a fellow student is ‘poor’, and her desire not to make jokes of him anymore, may show that she is showing kindness and is definitely something to be encouraged in the future.

 

All the best in your continuing relationship with this girl and all the best with your studies.

[JAbba2gEther]

 

I feel as if she may have some emotional attachment to him or something. Am I overreacting? or am I justified to feel this way?

I am really confused.

 

Thank you

 

Hello. Thank you for asking about this question of your feelings. You appear to be feeling a little insecure about your girlfriend’s friendship with a colleague in her class. You want to clarify whether you may be overreacting or justified in your thoughts.

 

Any committed friendship always requires adjustments. You have found a girl in your Mater’s program, and seem ready to explore whether this relationship will be enduring. You thought that your girlfriend acts in a particular manner, but suddenly she changes her habits, which surprises you. Once you shared the same response towards another male colleague, but now you realise she has gotten to know this person a little more through sharing the same class; and may not necessarily share the same thoughts about him as she once did.

 

I wonder if celebrating her growth is something that is required in this situation? You stated she always wanted to wear earrings and makeup, but she was too shy to do so. But now, after a few months she may have decided to take the courage to do so. Is this showing that your girlfriend is growing and gaining confidence in herself? Rather than seeing it a result of her impressing another guy, perhaps it is that she wants to feel more confident within herself and, well, has it made her appear prettier in your eyes too? Have you shared your awareness of this change to her in a positive way?

 

To have a girlfriend who shows compassion to another student may not be necessarily pointing towards her being unfaithful to her. I, for one, appreciate my friends showing kindness to others. Perhaps she is realising that kindness is far more a gift to give to people than making fun of them.

 

To summarise, your girlfriend has shown two qualities that are admirable. Firstly, she is showing courage and concern for her appearance. This may benefit you in the future, and cannot suggest that she is doing so to impress any other person beside herself. Secondly, her response stating a fellow student is ‘poor’, and her desire not to make jokes of him anymore, may show that she is showing kindness and is definitely something to be encouraged in the future.

 

All the best in your continuing relationship with this girl and all the best with your studies.

[rnfydwnd]

The thing is she used to wear make ups when we first started date. So she is not the kind of person who is ahy about wearing maje ups. And there is another guy in her team, and she compained about his irresponsibility and talked something bad about him.

So this is not the case you are thinking of