justabottle Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 I'm with my guy for almost 5 years soon, I'm 24, he's 32. He just got a new job while I've just finished my 3rd year in uni, I still have 1 more year to go. I'm a hoplessly romantic, and he's the hoplessly practical kind of person. I'm that kind of person who would be willing to give all out or like make sure that my partner is happy, but of cos, I'd need that same kind of effort from him. I don't want to be in the position where I'm the one putting in the effort and he's just there receving it. So I just casually asked him yesterday, would you do the things I like just to make me happy if like I had a really bad day or something like that or when I'm sick. I gave the example of buying flowers, and he said no, becasue it's impractical. And he went on saying that we are compatiable in this sense. I might be overthinking, but I really hates it that he stopped putting in effort ever since he got me, it's like he took me for granted (Which he claimed that he did). Because of this, I also gave up trying to make him happy after a while because it felt like my needs weren't met at all in the first place so why should I bother about his? It's been going on for quite a while, like I'd dropped by every monday last semester to his workplace to have lunch with him, buy him some desert with a note to him (and he likes it, he still kept those notes in his room). But when I ask him to come my house to have dinner with me, he'd whine and make remarks like, it's far. He expects me to have conversations with his parents, which I did, and when I asked him to talk to my sis (like yesterday), he'd say, no. I already don't feel the excitement of seeing him, I'm not sure if it's because of what happened yesterday that's why I'm feeling like this, but I defintely don't feel that I want to put in extra effort for him anymore. But I also have to factor in that maybe it's his stress at his new workplace that's why he's like that. I'm meeting him in a few hour's time, and I'm dragging myself, but I also feel that I should talk to him again (I've talked to him a few times abt it before). Don't know what is the kind of question I'm asking, but I just want to let out my thoughts and like see if I'm overthinking/ oversensitive or am I in the wrong for feeling like this, thanks!
bathtub-row Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 He seems very clinical and self-centered if you ask me. You should find someone who's more suited to your way of thinking. You're totally incompatible with your current bf.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 It's ironic because even though he's the older one in the relationship, he's acting immature. Whereas you're emotionally available and know what you want. Just goes to show that age doesn't always represent maturity levels in dating.
Buddhist Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 I'm with my guy for almost 5 years soon, I'm 24, he's 32. It's very likely you are in a one-sided relationship. Many women (of all ages) attach themselves to men who just think a relationship is a free-ride of affection for themselves. It's an extremely common experience. Mostly it takes a few rides on this merry-go-round before we realise it's a dead thing and something to be avoided. If I were you. I'd cut my losses now and move on.
jcromp Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 It just sounds like you two aren't compatible. Sometimes opposites attract, but not when it comes to what you expect from each other in a relationship. Age doesn't always matter, but it your case, he was firmly into adulthood and you were still really young when you got together. It sounds like you've grown up and realized what you're really looking for in a relationship, and unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he's it. This isn't likely to change much either, I'm afraid. I'd say to break up and find someone that's looking for the same things that you are. No sense in wasting more time in a relationship where your needs aren't being met.
Cinnamonstix Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 I am a hopeless romantic too, or a "feeling" type", with a history of dating logical, practical, "thinking" types. Now that I am dating a sensitive hopeless romantic, I could never go back. It is just so much more fulfilling to be with someone who is as loving and giving (perhaps even more so) as me. There is better out there for you! 1
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