BikerAccnt Posted April 15, 2016 Posted April 15, 2016 So if you read my earlier thread, you know I broke up with my GF of 2 years earlier this week. I still think it needed to be done, and really, I'm not upset so much at the end of the relationship, as I am angry over how I was made to end it. I can't believe how much this has been eating at me these past few days. I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I had to end up breaking things off by text message because she wouldn't return my calls. I had asked her 3 times last week to call me; twice via leaving a voice mail, and once Friday when she answered a good morning text. She never acknowledged me asking her to call, and she never did return any calls. Finally, after 4 days with no contact whatsoever, I texted her and ended it. After two freaking years... Anyway, I feel like **** now that I had to end it via text. Absolute ****. Additionally, and not surprisingly, she's not tried to contact me, has blocked me on FB, and I'd bet everywhere else too. Why do I feel such the bad guy when she didn't have the decency or respect to call me back? I didn't want to just leave things fade away, yet I feel like the bad guy over all this. I think I'm probably still to concerned over what she thinks of how I ended it. How stupid is that? I keep telling myself that I had no choice. She knew my need for open communication, but clearly didn't respect me enough to have a conversation with me. I find myself making excuses for her...for why she didn't call. What the hell is the matter with me? It really doesn't matter does it? You don't go 4 days without speaking by any means to your boyfriend if you still care what's going on with him do you? Anyway, I know I just have to work thru the anger, what's done is done. I'm just so freakin' mad/upset/sad that it had to end this way. That I feel forced to end something in a way so totally opposite to how I would have preferred.
NopeNah Posted April 15, 2016 Posted April 15, 2016 The old "forced breakup"...She wanted you to end it, thus the slow fade she was pulling. 4
Esquire_Seattle Posted April 15, 2016 Posted April 15, 2016 Biker: I posted on your last thread about the similarities in our situations as I had to do the breaking up twice. I was so tortured by it each time because they say it's always easier for the dumper, but in our case, even though we finalized the ending, we were not given a choice really so it's not much easier. Everything you are feeling is normal - you are grieving and that will include rumination, regret, obsessive thoughts and anger, along with the other known stages. Don't fight the feelings - just feel them and let them pass. The situation sucks - plain and simple. And you will hurt. But you know what - it's better to break your own heart by leaving than having the person break your heart every day you're with them. I dead if focusing on how it ended, focus on the fact that after 2 years, this woman that you loved couldn't even give you the decency of a return phone call. Heck, I even return calls of clients I don't respect or want to talk to, but it's human decency. Focus on the actions. She was disrespectful, emotionally abusive and downright mean. It's probably not what you want to hear but it's the unfortunate reality. As time goes on a little, you will see it in its correct perspective. You saved yourself from a lifetime of walking on eggshells, roller coaster emotions and cycles of breaking up and getting back together. That drama may feel like love, but you don't treat someone you love in the manner you described. Hang in there. Keep posting, keep reading. You'll be more than fine! 1
BC1980 Posted April 15, 2016 Posted April 15, 2016 There is no good way to breakup or end things. Honestly, there just isn't. It's usually messy and sad all around. It seems like you were the forced dumper, and maybe you are mad because she made you do it. I'd be mad about that too, but the point is that it's over. 1
mightycpa Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 What would be different if you had never followed up? She wouldn't be talking to you, you wouldn't be talking to her, and in the end, you're in the same place you are today. Maybe what's eating you is that it was really you who were broken up with, quite unceremoniously. Ghosted is the term you're looking for. It's pretty harsh.
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