Forget About Her Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 How the hell do you tell if you are over an ex? We were together for 5 years and it's been 6 months since the breakup. It's been over a month of NC, and we've had spats of 1 month and 2 months of NC prior to this. She's dated/slept with two other guys since our breakup. We tried to work it out for about a week and a half, but she ended up meeting guy #2, and ended that b/c we had a really stupid minor fight. Deep down I know it's never going to happen between us. I've had sex with several other girls since our breakup and even seriously dated 2 people. I'm currently seeing someone else, who is a great girl, but she doesn't have some of the qualities that I loved in my ex. I don't sit around and ponder about my ex constantly like I used to, but I do think about her from time to time. I saw a recent picture of her yesterday and I started to really miss her for the first time in a while. I have NO desire to call her or talk to her at all, ZERO! I'm so confused as to what constitutes being over someone, and what is normal to feel.
WhoSaidThat Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Well, first of all, you have to make a choice. IMO, stay strict NC until you are over her, only you will know when you are over her. I wouldn't get into any serious relationships just yet, it sounds like you are still healing. If you do get into a serious relationship you might just end up comparing the new girl to your ex, which makes for a very unhealthy relationship. My advice is to get the ex out of your life once and for good so you can actually get over her, otherwise it will keep coming back to bite you in the ass.
Jadey Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 You know youre over them when you wake up one morning and think hey i havent even thought about her/him for a couple of days. Or when you do think of them you dont get that sinking hurting sickly feeling. You can looks at photos, her the songs that remind you of them, etc etc and be ok. You can start dating and not comparing them to your ex all the time. Youll just know trust me. Your time will come Be strong!
TMonkey Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 The fact that you have no desire to call at all is half, or more, of the victory. I envy you.
Author Forget About Her Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 I still think about her from time to time, but now when I think about her, it's not "damn, I really wish I could go running with her, or watch a movie, or go on the paddle boats"...it's just a thought. And I've completely conquered the desire to call and talk to her. I haven't seen her in a while, so I can't say how I would feel if I actually saw her, but I'd rather prolong that for as long as possible. I don't really get the desire to want to be with her anymore (although it does happen from a rare time to time), but it seems to be more of a thought like what would happen to us if we did end up together. I just wish I knew what some other signs of finally moving on are.
Marshbear Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 I think you are well on you way. Keep it up and one day you will even be hard pessed to remember her name. Peace...
Author Forget About Her Posted June 21, 2005 Author Posted June 21, 2005 Haha Marshbear...Funny you should say that b/c the girl I am seeing now has the same exact name! Don't think I"ll be forgetting that one any time soon
blue16 Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 I think you're over someone when you don't get jealous about the fact they are with someone else. Like if you were to see her with her boyfriend would u be envious? Of course imagining a situation is a far cry from the real thing, but you get my point. If see her with her new interest and not get jealous at all, then I would say you are over her for good.
XNemesisX Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 I think that you know you are over someone when you start thinking about someone else more. I truly think you don't fully get over an ex until you meet someone else that you like just as much and who you spend your time thinking about. Also, when you stop dreaming about them. For me, I was over my ex as soon as I started getting real feelings for another person and started spending my daydreaming time thinking about this other person. It took me 7 months to get to this point but I don't think I would be over my ex if I didn't start seeing this new person who I like SO much. I have had a string of short-lived relationships since my break up that just didn't do this for me. Eventually you will meet someone that you find yourself liking SOO much more..trust me
outdated Posted June 21, 2005 Posted June 21, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX I think that you know you are over someone when you start thinking about someone else more. I truly think you don't fully get over an ex until you meet someone else that you like just as much and who you spend your time thinking about. Also, when you stop dreaming about them. For me, I was over my ex as soon as I started getting real feelings for another person and started spending my daydreaming time thinking about this other person. It took me 7 months to get to this point but I don't think I would be over my ex if I didn't start seeing this new person who I like SO much. I have had a string of short-lived relationships since my break up that just didn't do this for me. Eventually you will meet someone that you find yourself liking SOO much more..trust me Definitely. It's necessary to put yourself out there and meet someone else because until then you will have that sense of "loss" and think only of your ex. That's why healing times vary for different people. I completely believe that I would still be wallowing in self-pity and pining over my ex if I hadn't forced myself to go out and put myself in different situations with different people and you know what? I met someone that I like a lot, and like XNX, I know spend my time thinking about her instead, and it makes me happy instead of nervous and irritable. This also helped- one day I said to myself that I was tired of feeling this way about my ex- wondering what she was doing, if she had found someone new etc. I told myself I was done feeling that way and I meant it. Of course I had to force myself at times, but you can control your thought process although it requires a bit of training and self restraint. But the first day was good- I could tell my attitude was changing. I was tired of being love sick, and frankly, she just wasn't worth it to me anymore. That night I had a dream that she was following me in a car and when we got to an intersection- she went one way and I went the other. I woke up and felt like I had finally let go. Haven't dreamed of her since, and don't think much about her anymore. Have no desire to call her and don't fear seeing her. It's funny how dreams can have such an effect on your daily life. It was such a release, and frankly, I haven't had such a blatantly symbolic dream like that before. I knew that was the end. I watched her drive off in my rear-view mirror and thought, "eh."
Recommended Posts