Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 Fore warning the first few paragraphs are my story, if you dont wanna read just scroll down to my questions. thanks. My relationship came to an abrupt stop about 3 months ago and had be going on for about 7 months . Me and her got along well , have similar interests , and I was loving , and made sure to share everything with her (worried on how she felt , didnt argue, talked things out ,kept altercations small and simple , taking a loss for her , frequently letting her know how I cared about her) If I made a decision I made it with her in consideration. The last two weeks of our relationship , she started closing off , not wanting to tell me thing sbecause " I wouldnt understand" or "she couldnt tell me" and telling them to her best friend . Fast forward two weeks and she broke up with me , which resulted in string of events in which I attempted to find out what was up , and her and her bestfriend immediately started rubbing up.(who she always hung out with very frequently , even when we were dating ) He asks her to the dance , the end up kissing , fast forward another 3 days w , there dating and she ignores me and treats me like **** . And when I talked to her about it (while she was at his house for vtimes day 2 weeks later) she just say she wished things could of gone diffirently and he's her boyfriend now What im wondering is why she's doing this to me , it took us 5 months into us being together for her to even acknowledge me publicly as her boyfriend , she was calling him her BF the first two days they started dating PUBLICLY . Hell I even got her a gift i had worked on for a month ,boxed it and everything , and she said take it back get it away from me . Then shortly after gets a gift from her BF , thats just a hoodie with his colonge on it I was compassionate and tried to express my feeling and let her know I loved her , yet she still ran off to another guy , her reasoning being " i wasnt enough" and "she has commitment issues " despite doing everything in my power to make her happy and even making everything EXTREMELY simple. All i can remember her saying when she broke up with me was how she still loved me but couldnt be with me and couldnt tell me why . And when shes around me or looks at me , she's evidently guilty , does her absolute best to act like everythings fine . And HASNT even messaged me to apologize , and I still care. I tried so hard to keep my promises and I feel like **** that im not able to . She's tottally whipped now , if he dumps her hard will she be back ? 50/50 I want her to , then the other 50 I dont want her to . WHAT DO I DO NOW??!??!?!?! HOW DID SHE MANAGE TO DO THIS SO EASILY?!?!?
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 (edited) May I mention , Most of her close friends can confirm to me , He's a MAJORRR asshollle , and is the excat opposite from me (football team, more muscular etc etc) This girl also happens to be my first :/ and there gonna go to new orleans this summer :/ in which there likely going to share a hotel ,I dont know how to feel about any of this Edited April 14, 2016 by Jasum
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 She also unadded of facebook and snapchat cause she doesnt wanna be ridiculed for what she does . And has cut off a large portion of her social group just to get with him , without them bothering her about what shes doing
Zahara Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 You need to stop receiving information about her and checking up on what she's doing. She's ended it with you and it's over. You can't get into her mind and connect the dots as to why she's doing what she's doing. She's been clear that she's moving on. You need to block her and move on from this. Anything other is just you tormenting yourself. 1
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 You need to stop receiving information about her and checking up on what she's doing. She's ended it with you and it's over. You can't get into her mind and connect the dots as to why she's doing what she's doing. She's been clear that she's moving on. You need to block her and move on from this. Anything other is just you tormenting yourself. I care way to much huh ? It's just so weird if I catch her staring at me , or when she looks at me she looks so guilty it gets to me
Jason9 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 Sounds to me like shes telling you things you wanna hear, rather than being up front and telling you that she has just gone off you. If I loved someone, I wouldnt be with another person, plain and simple and I wouldnt fob them off for someone else within a few days. It cant be confirmed but if she got with him a few days later, then something was brewing up between them way before that. As for feeling guilty, well maybe she does but it hasnt stopped her being with him. She has gone about this the wrong way. From this point on she doesnt deserve any of your effort anymore and you need to focus on you and moving on.
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 Sounds to me like shes telling you things you wanna hear, rather than being up front and telling you that she has just gone off you. If I loved someone, I wouldnt be with another person, plain and simple and I wouldnt fob them off for someone else within a few days. It cant be confirmed but if she got with him a few days later, then something was brewing up between them way before that. As for feeling guilty, well maybe she does but it hasnt stopped her being with him. She has gone about this the wrong way. From this point on she doesnt deserve any of your effort anymore and you need to focus on you and moving on. Your right but it's real hard , Her friends constantly tell me when he leaves her she will try to talk to me again . Knowing how she was trying extensively hard to lie to keep from hurting me (which was dumb)And that thought scares me because I don't know what im gonna do or say if she comes back. I definitely need someone to talk to , someone anybody who can help
Jason9 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 If I was you, I wouldnt say anything at all if she asks for you back. You would be putting yourself in a situation where she could do the same to you again.
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 (edited) If I was you, I wouldnt say anything at all if she asks for you back. You would be putting yourself in a situation where she could do the same to you again. Very true , I've been told if I do , I need to make her work hard for it . Plus , the worst part on all this is , She's gone crazy , but then evidently does weird **** around me :/. It confuses me way to much man , and then he's just wheeling her around with no problem Edited April 17, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 Thanks for the Insight Jason, I've got alot on my mind . Any more advice , I really need it .
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 I've made sure to block her on facebook and Kik , I'm just to uneasy man, it's not like shes texted me anyway
Eslaaa Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 I've made sure to block her on facebook and Kik , I'm just to uneasy man, it's not like shes texted me anyway sorry to be so direct, but as a female, it sounds to me like she is more into the other guy than you. You should definitely move on! 1
Satu Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 If you continue to think about this around the clock, you will exhaust yourself, and achieve nothing in the process. The less you know about her activities the better for you. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care. 1
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 You guys advice means alot , This small thing in me tells me constantly , that if she leaves him and really wants to come back she'll try hard. But part of me knows thats bad considering how easy it was for her to do this . Was my mistake allowing her to have close guy friends ? I wanna know how I should go about that so I dont have to go through torture like this again
Bliss09 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 I think the most important thing is to understand even if he does leave her, she may not come back. Self improvement is key. I am struggling in a very similar situation. I'm convinced it is easier for a woman to treat you like ****, in order to make herself feel better about a break up. You do not deserve it at all, and it's childish. The more you try to reach out, the more you show her sadness the more she will know she still has the power. Take the power back. Get out, spend time with people even if you don't want to, and better yourself. At the end of all of this, never forget how she treated you. You're meant to have someone who loves you, and would never betray you. If she does Come back, hopefully by this time you will be able to make a clearer decision on what you desire, and what you need.
LD1990 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 You guys advice means alot , This small thing in me tells me constantly , that if she leaves him and really wants to come back she'll try hard. But part of me knows thats bad considering how easy it was for her to do this . Was my mistake allowing her to have close guy friends ? I wanna know how I should go about that so I dont have to go through torture like this again From the details you've given it sounds like you and her are both pretty young, correct? High school? Because at that age, it's silly to pin any hopes on an ex. You're young, you should date and enjoy yourself, not stress yourself out to hang onto a bad relationship that isn't gonna last. Your mistake was failing to see an obvious red flag, but that's natural. She was your first, you were blinded by emotion. You didn't "allow" her to have close guy friends. She wasn't under your control, she was free to do whatever she wanted, and there's nothing you could do to stop her from doing something. The red flag was this guy friend who she hung out with very frequently. When your girlfriend hangs out with another guy often, particularly if it's without you, odds are that something ain't right. If you're her boyfriend, you're the guy she should want to hang out with. 1
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 I think the most important thing is to understand even if he does leave her, she may not come back. Self improvement is key. I am struggling in a very similar situation. I'm convinced it is easier for a woman to treat you like ****, in order to make herself feel better about a break up. You do not deserve it at all, and it's childish. The more you try to reach out, the more you show her sadness the more she will know she still has the power. Take the power back. Get out, spend time with people even if you don't want to, and better yourself. At the end of all of this, never forget how she treated you. You're meant to have someone who loves you, and would never betray you. If she does Come back, hopefully by this time you will be able to make a clearer decision on what you desire, and what you need. Oh man i really appreciate that , like i cant express it enough. I guess my thinking that she will be back , is what I see that's left thats "her" the good her . I've had this situation before , but have never gotten this feeling . It's never been wrong before , something about her , I know it's there . I only got this feeling with one other chick , and it ended up happening based on the feeling . idk idk idk idk im so unsure
Author Jasum Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 (edited) From the details you've given it sounds like you and her are both pretty young, correct? High school? Because at that age, it's silly to pin any hopes on an ex. You're young, you should date and enjoy yourself, not stress yourself out to hang onto a bad relationship that isn't gonna last. Your mistake was failing to see an obvious red flag, but that's natural. She was your first, you were blinded by emotion. You didn't "allow" her to have close guy friends. She wasn't under your control, she was free to do whatever she wanted, and there's nothing you could do to stop her from doing something. The red flag was this guy friend who she hung out with very frequently. When your girlfriend hangs out with another guy often, particularly if it's without you, odds are that something ain't right. If you're her boyfriend, you're the guy she should want to hang out with. Your on the nose , Graduating actually . She was orginally intending to go on a trip with him , and a another friend and his GF this summer . I hate how I didn't see that originally . It just gets at me more knowing she's probably gonna ending up having sex with him . I trusted her to much and was trying to create a feeling of fairness and consideration . I just fail to grasp , how he is able to get her wrapped around her finger so easily , I mean there carbon legitimate carbon copies of one another(the same excat person practically) I can't see it working out :/ , there always around each other like ALWAYS , plus there both *******s if you think about it he's just a bigger one. It's just real interesting like i find it genuinely amusing . Only so long before they get ,bored, annoyed, or things get heated This isn't even related to the breakup , Im legitimately stumped on how that happened , any thoughts ? Edited April 14, 2016 by Jasum
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