AliceW Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 I am childless and 35 years old, and I'm still on the fence about having a kid, and I'm running out of time to make up my mind! So I'm very curious about other people's thoughts about this issue. I'm an only child myself, and my other close relatives (the aunts who spent family holidays with my family) were unmarried and childless. None of my friends have children (few of them are even married). So what I'm wondering is: does the fact that I feel no compelling need or even a strong desire to have children mean that I'm just one of those people who wasn't meant to do it, or do I simply feel that way because children are so alien to me (because of my life circumstances)?? I'm living my BF, who is also ambivalent about this. Is there something wrong with us? It seems abnormal not to want kids more...I mean, I do want a child on some level, but I also rather like the freedom I have now, and I'm just not sure the sacrifices would be worth it to me...but then again, maybe I have no idea what I'm missing....sigh. One thing is for sure: as long as I'm this uncertain I won't do it. I'd rather regret not having one than regret having one (not fair to the child!).
krbshappy71 Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 One thing is for sure: as long as I'm this uncertain I won't do it. I'd rather regret not having one than regret having one (not fair to the child!). I wish more people would be like you. There is nothing wrong with not wanting children, they are a HUGE upheaval to a life, in the best and worse ways. If you and your boyfriend are happy, enjoy your lives as they are. The clock ticks to let us know what time it is, not what you have to do with that time. I commend you for giving this so much thought and rationality. If you chose not to have children, there would always be foster parenting as an option later, adopting, or maybe just being there for someone in your own family (or his family) who needs a sitter, an upstanding role model for their child, someone to take their daughter to the mall and give her a bond to another woman she can talk to. There are so many roles women can play besides a mother role themselves. Take your time, the only right decision is the one that you know in your heart because YOU know YOU the best.
JPMorgan Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Nothing wrong with that. I chose not to have children and took measures to ensure that I would not get pregnant; and there are sometimes when I wish I had, but 99.9% of the time I'm glad that I did not. There are some people who will be condescending toward you though because you are not part of 'the club' and don't have labor and delivery stories to tell, etc. That gets frustrating sometimes. I get tired of people telling me "you don't know what you are missing". Yes, I DO know and THAT is why I am missing it!!!
Dad to adopted son Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 I am a 47 year old male with no biological children. I do not think the world will crumble or not survive because my genes are not passed on. I adopted a beautiful son from Korea 6 years ago, and I believe he has given me the same joy and love that any biological son could give. If at some point in your life when you do feel that you want a child, consider adoption or foster care. Foster care has less stringent age limitations.
BrotherAaron Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 There are six and half billion people in this world, and the human race can afford for a few people not to reproduce, to say the least. If you don't want to have kids... good! It says nothing of the quality of your genes, but it speaks volumes of your character. Like my favorite saying on the topic: "Copulate, don't populate!"
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