aelvidge Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Me and my ex dated for a year, he broke it off 2 weeks ago. We have barely spoke since as I wanted to try NC but had a long conversation Sunday. He said he's confused about what he wants and needs a lot of time to think. He said I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him but he also thinks I'm the right girl, wrong timing. He said he's hurt the thing that meant the most to him and that makes him upset. I told him he contradicts himself by saying those things and he also makes me confused saying things like that. I love him a lot and I guess that's why I've stuck by him (he has broke up with me twice in the past but after 48 hours max we were back on) I didn't try and beg when he ended it and I don't like making excuses for him but he is so afraid of commitment. He said he doesn't know why I'm sticking around and that makes him think but we will speak on the weekend and he thinks we should keep our distance rather than text a lot (like we did when we were together) but also keep in contact whilst we both do some thinking. He wants to speak to his dad and nan for their advice. Anyone ever been in this situation? What did you do and what was the outcome? I really want to text him and say I want all or nothing but I also have to respect he needs time. 1
Zahara Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Anyone ever been in this situation? What did you do and what was the outcome? I really want to text him and say I want all or nothing but I also have to respect he needs time. Yes, and from experience, you need to move on from him. His pattern is to rubberband. He's already done it 3 times. It's not going to change. I went NC and completely removed him from my life. No, you don't respect his need for time. You respect yourself enough to remove yourself from someone that treats you that way. There is no need to text him re: all or nothing. He's dumped you three times in one year. He's been very clear. You giving him time and space only enables his behavior. Time to eject. 6
266696687 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Me and my ex dated for a year, he broke it off 2 weeks ago. We have barely spoke since as I wanted to try NC but had a long conversation Sunday. He said he's confused about what he wants and needs a lot of time to think. He said I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him but he also thinks I'm the right girl, wrong timing. He said he's hurt the thing that meant the most to him and that makes him upset. I told him he contradicts himself by saying those things and he also makes me confused saying things like that. I love him a lot and I guess that's why I've stuck by him (he has broke up with me twice in the past but after 48 hours max we were back on) I didn't try and beg when he ended it and I don't like making excuses for him but he is so afraid of commitment. He said he doesn't know why I'm sticking around and that makes him think but we will speak on the weekend and he thinks we should keep our distance rather than text a lot (like we did when we were together) but also keep in contact whilst we both do some thinking. He wants to speak to his dad and nan for their advice. Anyone ever been in this situation? What did you do and what was the outcome? I really want to text him and say I want all or nothing but I also have to respect he needs time. He is spinning you lies to keep you from moving on. It's simple if you was the best thing that ever happened to him he wouldn't have broken up with you. If you were the right girl the timing wouldn't matter. He is lying to you. Stringing you along while he does what he wants and is free to see whoever he wants whenever he wants while keeping you as a back up option because he knows how you feel about him. He just has to feed you some BS lines to keep you clinging on. Let him go. Walk away. Don't stick around for someone who doesn't want you. 4
Satu Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Unstable relationships aren't worth stress and disturbance they cause. All they do is make life harder than it needs to be. I would go NC without a backward glance. Take care. 3
Zahara Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/528135-what-do-we-do Go back and read your thread. A year later, you're again in the same spot. 3
LD1990 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Yeah, take it from someone whose ex moved out and then moved back in twice, along with numerous mini-breakups - this isn't gonna work. Your ex isn't suddenly gonna change and become a stable partner. He's gonna keep breaking up with you and getting back together until the day he decides to break up with you for good, and it sounds like he might already be at that permanent breakup point. He has shown you no respect as a partner by breaking up with you when the mood strikes him, so don't hang on to this dead relationship under the pretense of respecting his need for time. If he needs time so often, cool, give him all the time in the world by moving on and never looking back. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Three strikes, he's out. Time for you to find a new teammate. 1
mightycpa Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 It's not so much what he wants that should be important to you. It's what he clearly doesn't want badly that should have captured your attention.
ashley1992 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 maybe he doesnt clearly want to tell you hes not into you? if i were you.. i would stop trying and if he wants to leave.. then let him.. u deserve better! sometimes we think we know a person.. but then their true intentions and colours come out! im sure u will find someone better who will treat u nicer.. think hes is one out of 7 billion? lol
butterfly1958 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 Your heart has to be very unsettled and at times very it has to hurt greatly. When we care about a person, certain behaviors are expected. What behaviors do you need from your ex to KNOW that he cares about you? What are you looking for in a life partner? Would sitting down and making a list of what you desire help you understand what is keeping you where you are with your ex? What is really keeping you in the relationship if he is uncertain? Love is an emotion.....it is commitment paired with communication that takes a marriage partnership through the years to help maintain focus, direction, respect and love. Praying you find clarity as you look at your relational future......
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