what456 Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Why won't my ex boyfriend throw my things away. we are not together....
ImaManDammit Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 Why won't my ex boyfriend throw my things away. we are not together.... Sorry did you break up with him or did he break up with you?
Author what456 Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 i broke up with him because he was still hung up on his ex. Now two years later...he still has my stuff...so he says.
Author what456 Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 it matters because i am in love with him....
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 it matters because i am in love with him.... Then try to get back together with him. What is with all this dithering about?
Author what456 Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 there is no dithering blind otter..the problem is that i don't think he trusts me with his heart or he is scared. i don't know how to reassure him....
ImaManDammit Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 there is no dithering blind otter..the problem is that i don't think he trusts me with his heart or he is scared. i don't know how to reassure him.... Well I think the way he was hung up on his ex he is now hung up on you hence the need to hold on to your things. Just an assumption. So I'd talk to him about it now to see where he is. Which is odd advice coming from me since I usually take the take of and leave type of approach.
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 there is no dithering blind otter..the problem is that i don't think he trusts me with his heart or he is scared. i don't know how to reassure him.... His issue, not yours. I had the same problem he does, for a long time I would not give myself completely to anyone. It's a scarey step he has to decide to take.
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 Blindotter, what made you do it? Years of therapy. Pretty much. I was ready to take the step and I did it. I met my BF and took the leap of faith of having a long distance relationship for a few months, which is a huge risk for me... It's an individual thing. My BF couldn't have MADE me do anything, and pushing me to do it (as my exhusband did) would only have pushed me away. But I wouldn't go so far as to imply that your ex is anything like me. We are each different. My point is, he has to realize for himself what he wants.
Author what456 Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Blind otter, what did they say to you in therapy? why were you like this? I REALLY love my ex. I havent even been with anyone since we broke up! i just want to show him how much i care... this weekend showed me how much he cares too...i didn't realize it until this weekend....help!
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 Blind otter, what did they say to you in therapy? why were you like this? I REALLY love my ex. I havent even been with anyone since we broke up! i just want to show him how much i care... this weekend showed me how much he cares too...i didn't realize it until this weekend....help! I was like this because I was molested as a child, and raped at age 12 and again at age 19. I had a horribly abusive relationship. I went from sh*tty relationship to sh*tty relationship avoiding intimacy with the excuse that the men I was involved with weren't "right" for me. They weren't. I was getting involved with emotionally unavailable or emotionally crippled individuals as an excuse to avoid intimacy. It wasn't what they said to me in therapy. It was first and foremost MY CHOICE to get better, which helped me face the demons I had been running from for over 20 years. I was a dangerous person to be involved with because I was so f***ed in the head. I hope your ex is not like that. In any event you can do nothing to change him. Only he can change himself.
Author what456 Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Blind otter, I am sorry to hear that. How are you now? Are you still in a long-distance relationship? You actually sound alot better in your posts and I hope you are. So, there is NOTHING I can do? I just want to see him happy that's all...
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by what456 Blind otter, I am sorry to hear that. How are you now? Are you still in a long-distance relationship? You actually sound alot better in your posts and I hope you are. So, there is NOTHING I can do? I just want to see him happy that's all... Thank you, I am. I am going to visit my lover in July.... In any event, wanting to see him happy is all you CAN do....wish him well, hope for the best. I wish you well, too.
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