Any input? Why would he break up with me & still say he loves me?

[Athena21]

Okay, here it goes...

 

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years and have been living together for a year. Amonth ago, he asked me to move out, but he still wanted to be together as a couple. I didn't understand but I moved out anyway. I have been out for a month, but he has asked me to stay the night almost every night that I haven't lived there. And me being so inlove with him, I always give in. Well, we have been getting into it a lot because I don't know why he asked me to move out, he will never give me a definite answer, it's always just "This is something that I have to do for myself".

 

So, since it is so unclear to me, we get in fights about if quite often. Well, I have broken up with him about two weeks after I moved out and the next day we were back together. Then about two weeks ago, he broke it off with me saying that I deserve better than what he is giving me. We were back together later on that night, and he said that he was sorry for hurting me.

 

Then last night the same thing happened, but the way that he did it was very indefinite, like he just wanted me to finalize it. He said it would be better for me if we broke up. So I asked him if he was breaking up with me and he said "ya sure". So I said ok. I think that he expected me to cry about it like I would normally do, but when I didn't, his tone changed, and then there was a long silence. Then I said that I was going to get off the phone, and he said "ok, I love you, and I'll talk to you later". This confused me, because it's not routine for him to say that, and why would break up with someone and say that?

[thathurts]

I had very similar relationship and these are my opinions, what am i saying may not be correct for you,

"I deserve better than what he is " this means he is cheating on you or he thinks that he does not love you as much as you love him.

 

We had frequent fights with my gf also, and you are saying that 3 years..probably, he was not sure that you are the one. We had ended our relationship several times. I was like him, forcing my gf to brake up with me so i would feel innocent.

 

You love this guy right? Do what my gf did, tell him that it is over and you need space. If he does not come back in short time, it means you wasted your time. She did same to me, it is risky i was late and i lots her forever. It looks like he got bored, and wants to see other people, but he is afraid to lose you at the same time. As i told you before if you are not happy, tell him, you cannot keep your relationship like this. Never ever cry, do not be like, oh i cannot live without you, once we feel that, it is bad. He should know that you are strong, have firends to have fun. Do not contact him till he begs. If he does not it means he does not love you and you were not meant to be together.

 

I hope it helps, and good luck

[Marshbear]

He wants a FWB relationship.

 

If you don't leave him...

[Athena21]

I had very similar relationship and these are my opinions, what am i saying may not be correct for you,

"I deserve better than what he is " this means he is cheating on you or he thinks that he does not love you as much as you love him.

 

I don't know about this piece of advice. Although I may seem very naive about all this, I do know that my boyfriend loves me, and he is definitely not cheating on me. I thank you for your advice however, I pray to God that it is false in my case.

[Fallen_Angel]

I'm sure he does love you, but that's the thing about love...it is so darn finicky. He may not love you the same way he did at the beginning of the relationship.

 

Trust me, this is a tough pill to swallow. Shouldn't two people who love each other be together? Yes, in theory, but not when the two individuals in question do not love each other the same way.

 

Repeat these words to yourself: You DESERVE a guy who DOES NOT doubt his feelings for you. I try to think about this whenever I feel an urge to contact my ex.

 

Good luck.

[thathurts]

i did not want to be mean to you, sorry if you got it that way ,i am a guy and what i see is, he is not sure about his feelings about you.

[zack121]

I feel for you bigtime... I had this... did not know what to make of it... I will read with interest...

 

I discussed this kinda situatio/comment with a close friend, and he assures me that it can happen. I fail to see how but remember at the time thinking "yeah that sounds reasonable"... Damm I am romantic, Should love not conquer ALL!! Mine evern said had to use her head and not her heart... I love you but can;t be with you. Did not make sense. but perhaps one day it will...

 

He sounds a little insecure, and playing a kind of attention game, wants you to ummm prove you love him, by having you reassure him that you'll react the way that will boost or confirm his insecuritys. (aka if I say this, if she loves me, she'll react like this and I feel better) I could be 100% wrong.. just my thoughts.