scubasteve Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 So what the heck is the difference, I read the new term has been going on called ghosting. Isn't it the same has NC?
LD1990 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 They're different, the distinction being the break up conversation. With ghosting, there is no break up conversation (ghosting basically is the break up), with no contact, there is. Ghosting - guy and girl are in a relationship (with ghosting, it's often a casual relationship), guy decides instead of telling girl it's over he'll just stop responding to her completely. No contact - guy and girl officially break up in some form, guy goes into no contact by blocking girl and not responding if she does find a way to contact him. 1
The_Dork_Lard Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 I'm confused too. I got a barrage of VERY nasty texts telling me it was all over, but I didn't acknowledge them by replying, I just disappeared, because she didn't deserve a reply. So in my opinion I ghosted her AND initiated no-contact, they were both the same thing, no?
Neffer Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Ghosting: the most spineless cowardly way to dump someone - you just vanish. You dodge them in every way as if you are a 12 year old. Because telling someone its over is way too scary. It makes it harder on the dumpee as they have to go through extra stress trying to figure out what the hell happened. Its a very crappy thing to do to anyone. NC: breaking off contact after you have broken up with someone to clear your head and heart and get on with life. Enables moving on, is very upfront. 3
jen1447 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Ghosting is certainly a form of 'no contact' (assuming it's done thoroughly), but it's usually done so as to sneak away from either a BF/GF or more commonly just someone you've dated who you don't want to date anymore. No contact in the most commonly established context is a strategy for dealing with a breakup where the former partner is shunned so as to avoid the personal turmoil that tends to come with lingering on with them in person or via phone/text/social media/etc.
mightycpa Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 No contact is when your ex breaks up with you officially and unambiguously, and you never hear from them again. It may feel bad, but at least you know when the end occurred what it was like. Ghosting is when they don't bother to break up - they just disappear one day without a word, and you wonder WTF happened? Where did they go? Usually, in both cases, you'll wonder why.
smudge21 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Ghosting is the cowardly nasty evil way people (relationships and friendships) decide to treat others they no longer want in their lives - they just go, as if they died, and you never hear from them again. Reaching out never works and you only end up feeling worse. No Contact, in my opinion, is on the side of the dumpee. It's what we do when we've been dumped. It's our time to take back the power. It's not so much ghosting as we've already been pushed away, dumped, treated like dirt. Therefore, IMO, No Contact is good and powerful, used by people who are brave enough to let go of something bad and move on, to better things. Ghosting is for the weak and pathetic, the cowards. 1
PLT Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Ghosting is horrific. My ex ghosted me after 3 and a half years together. Not completely out of the blue, we had our problems but I thought we were working through them and then she walked out of my life without telling me, and without even saying goodbye. I've suffered a great deal over the past 6 weeks because of this. The ghosting just compounds the hurt and pain you feel because it's an added layer of betrayal. I never thought my ex would do that to me, seeing as how at one time we were so close. I will never understand how anyone could treat another human being like that, especially one they told they loved and cared about for so long. It's cowardly, insensitive, and just downright disgusting behaviour. 4
erklat Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 I thought it was the same. The outcome is the same. I ignore them so hard I sometimes doubt their existence. 1
mightycpa Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 I thought it was the same. The outcome is the same. I ignore them so hard I sometimes doubt their existence.It isn't the same. As hard as it is to hear the words "We're done.", at least you got to hear them. Some people have to suffer through the absence of those words, while getting exactly what you got after. It makes them doubt their self-worth in a way you'll hopefully never know. I know you think it couldn't be worse than it is, but believe me, it can be.
basil67 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 I'm confused too. I got a barrage of VERY nasty texts telling me it was all over, but I didn't acknowledge them by replying, I just disappeared, because she didn't deserve a reply. So in my opinion I ghosted her AND initiated no-contact, they were both the same thing, no? No, that's not ghosting. Ghosting involves leaving someone wondering what happened to you. It's disappearing without warning. Your ex knows very well what happened to you. And smart move on your part not responding to hideous texts.
BikerAccnt Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 It isn't the same. As hard as it is to hear the words "We're done.", at least you got to hear them.. Exactly! People always talk about closure, and least with the words, you have some semblance of it. When someone walks away...it's just cruel. I've never even thought of ghosting anyone. Even after just one date, if I have no plans to see them again, I've always, always called, to let them know that. I'll thank them for the one date, say I don't think we make a good match, wish them luck and say goodbye. I don't let people wonder about my intentions. 1
Recommended Posts