iceknite Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Alright so I have a dilemma I was hoping you guys can help me with. There's this girl who worked at my office last summer as a student, that I started having feelings for and just as I was building up the courage to ask her out, there was a huge flood at the office that closed it down for over 2 months, so I kind of lost my chance. We had pretty frequent chats before the flood and we had a lot in common, I thought we were starting to build some chemistry. We had to work from home during the restoration and renovations of the office and by the time we got back, the summer was over and this girl went back to school but we kept in touch through text and Facebook. However I didn't want to ask her out over text, I feel some things are better done in person. She frequently "liked" the pictures I posted on Facebook and wished me a happy birthday, but I'm still not sure if she has feelings for me or just doing it as a friend. So back on the work front, she is scheduled to come work back at the office as a student again this summer and will likely start in May. My intention is to make my feelings known to her and pursue a relationship, which I know may be risky to date a co-worker, but she's only there for a few months and we work in seperate departments, so I don't think that's an issue. Which leads me to my actual question, but first I should mention that I'm 25 years old and still a virgin. I've dated a few girls and have kissed them, but aside from some cuddling and rubbing, it's never gone any further. I guess I always got too nervous to make the move. So my question is would I help my chances with this girl by gaining some experience and losing my virginity? I've always thought that I'd lose it to someone I care about, but I'm at the point where I'd rather lose my virginity to some girl, than lose my opportunity with this girl because I was too nervous or something. I know a lot of people will say that losing your virginity is special and it should be with someone you care about, but how many people end up marrying the person they lose their virginity to? In your experience, how much does having experience help? Because it hasn't worked too well for me in the past...
smudge21 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 You seem to be putting all your energy into losing your v-plates than actually setting up and getting a date with this girl, who you automatically assume is going to jump into bed with you. How do you know she's also not a virgin? Now there's a thought, two people, meet over a flood lit office and fall madly in love then eventually share that awesome moment together... chill. Stop focusing on this feeling that you need to have sex before you can have a relationship with someone. Where does that come from anyway? Instead just turn your attention to this girl and how you're going to ask her out - I'd go with the simple fact that you never got your chance last time so now you want to take her out for a coffee before the office burns down (keep it light and funny). Also, think about it this way - which do you think she'd prefer to find out about you (if it comes to this) that you're still a virgin because you never felt that close to someone until you met her... or that you were planning to ask her out and decided to screw some random unknown girl beforehand?
Miss Peach Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 (edited) I have dated two men who were virgins around your age. I didn't hold it against either men. It didn't work out for other reasons but if you both want a relationship rather than a hookup then the right woman will be patient and possibly open to teaching if she is more experienced. I have had to teach a few guys the basics of being with women - guys much older than you. If losing your virginity to someone you care about is important then don't sacrifice that just to try to win some woman. As I've gotten older I've learned good relationships are more about finding a good match than trying to get a specific person to like me. FWIW I have learned more about sex in LTRs than in random hookups. So even if the first time isn't good it can get better with chemistry and practice. ONS typically are mediocre at best anyway because it takes awhile to learn different bodies. The only argument on the other side is that when men haven't had much experience (i.e., they marry as virgins) they seem to wonder what they are missing. If you think that might be an issue then it might make sense to indulge a bit at some point. Edited April 13, 2016 by Miss Peach
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