Negging

[jen1447]

How does "you're not as fat as some people I've dated", get her to have sex with you??????

 

It's actually kind of a complex psychological process, and it only works on ppl who already have self esteem issues. Bscly the premise is that you get them to devalue themselves to the extent that they're willing to 'give away' sex, bc they think or feel they're not worth anything better. And if you can couple it with seeming to offer more than they think they'll normally get - reasonable good looks, 'niceness' (you complimented her shoes after all), some nominal security, etc., it sweetens the deal.

 

Ppl with low self esteem can temporarily regain feelings of positive self-worth by way of sexual acceptance. You give it up to the guy who otherwise doesn't like you much or think very highly of you but at least he'll give you some human warmth and affection for a little while. And in extreme prolonged abuser-type cases, this psychological back-and-forth becomes a sort of defacto norm - you associate negativity with a certain form of limited acceptance that you're brainwashed into thinking can't get any better anyway. So on it goes.

 

I don't OLD but I suspect ppl do it on there to fish for victims - if they get the kind of response they're looking for, they know they've got a live one and they can press the tactic and deconstruct them enough so that they hopefully put out on the first or second meetup. Then you can drop or continue to use them as desired.

 

For 'bang and bail' situs the possibilities probably hang on how exploitable the insecurity is in the short term and how well the 'negger' (feel strangely uncomfortable using that form lol) sells his own trade-up appeal - more common than you might think. :-/

[ChickiePops]

Exactly, most of this.

 

Obnoxious is when i cannot resist but not in a nasty way.

 

Only this morning my Better half was watching me arrange my quiff for the day and said..

 

`You`ll do, passable even` As she smacked my backside with a wet towel.

 

Enormous fun ensued..

 

 

But having read the thread it appears a very sad manipulation tactic by blokes who have no idea how to be themselves.

 

I've said things like that too but it's always done out of love rather than as a manipulation tool. It's teasing/flirting and it's fun.

 

My best friend and I have a competition every time we see each other for who can come up with the worst, most disgusting name to call the other one. Loser has to buy the winner a drink or a snack.

 

I call my boyfriend Butthead or sometimes Voldemort (he's saved in my phone as he who must not be named). He thinks it's hilarious.

[PrettyEmily77]

Who cares what it's called? Jesus, it's effing rude is what it is. Just say goodbye.

 

Yeah, in my days there didn't seem to be much skill involved in being insensitive tossers - now apparently some of these modern guys are so clueless they need a crash course in reading about, learning and practisinh that crap as a seduction technique, no less... So glad I'm old and not single.

[soph-walker]

I've said things like that too but it's always done out of love rather than as a manipulation tool. It's teasing/flirting and it's fun.

 

My best friend and I have a competition every time we see each other for who can come up with the worst, most disgusting name to call the other one. Loser has to buy the winner a drink or a snack.

 

I call my boyfriend Butthead or sometimes Voldemort (he's saved in my phone as he who must not be named). He thinks it's hilarious.

 

I'm all for gentle teasing when you've built up a rapport with someone but I draw the line at 'you're gorgeous but not sexy enough for me' or 'would it hurt you to wear lower cut tops instead of dressing like that' or my particular favourite 'I have no idea how or why but you look good'.

[kendahke]

If someone came at me with that, I guess the only thing I would say was "wow..is that the best you can do?" and walk away.