RoseChua Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Hi there. I made an account here to be able to express myself somehow as I am going through a very difficult break up. So here's my story. We've been together for 9 years, since HS. Just last year, around Aug, things became so rocky when we were having petty and insecurity fights until he met someone on the bus that made him feel unsure of me. I did all of the necessary actions to stop him from going and to give us another chance to try. He admitted to me everything that he felt about the girl and that he stalked her on Facebook but did not pursue her anymore because he took another chance with me. When I thought everything was finally going stronger for us, just before our anniversary this March while I was away for a vacation, we had some issues again. We weren't able to communicate while I was away but we met on our Anniversary when I got back, we just watched a movie but we're probably mad at each other and didn't greet each other at all. Then the next day, he dropped the bomb when I asked him if we have a problem. He said he doesn't love me anymore. Saying that he does not deserve me because I am being unfair to him for not equally loving me back. He said he's not happy anymore and just want to break up and come clean. He told me I was his great love but he just can't love me back the way I love him. It was such an emotional rollercoaster for me, and I begged him a lot of times until I just finally gave up. I thought he'd use this space to think things over because when he broke up with me, he was still quite unsure of the decision he made but he said he is ready to take this chance. He made it clear to me that there is no other person involved for his decision to break up with me and it's purely his decision. We had a week of silence, he was also silent on the first week. Posting and sharing posts on FB how messed up he is and his life is a joke so who needs April fools. Then he also posted an article about Immature Love vs. Mature Love. I thought he's still trying to think things over until yesterday. We haven't been together for at least 10 days already but he became active on social media again, (I'm not stalking at first but I got curious) and realized that he may be starting to like someone new, who is a girl I've been jealous for when we were still in a relationship. He starts liking her posts and even reacting LOVE icon on her profile picture. I tried to observe if they go online and offline together, I finally concluded that maybe they're starting to show interests with one another. Then also just yesterday, he posted another article tackling about the stages of a guy in love, and captioned the "Acceptance" stage. So I assumed he's finally trying to admit to himself that he is on the stage that he is falling in love again. We remained no contact for more than a week now after our breakup because he made it clear to me that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me at this stage. He told me I should help myself learn to live without him and communicating with him. So I just gave up, too. He was mad at me for trying to see him the last time we had a real encounter with each other. We work at the same company and we sometimes still bump into each other but pretend we're ignoring each other's presence. The fact that he is starting to make a move to someone else already stopped me from having hopes with him for another chance because it is such a dealbreaker for me. He comes off now as a jerk in my eyes for showing me he's doing the things he knows that will irritate me on social media and in real life. I just thought what we had was something irreplaceable, given the relationship was full of firsts and it lasted 9 years. Yet he just suddenly decided to flush it on a toilet, just like that. What do you think of my current situation and can you please give me some advice? Thanks in advance.
Author RoseChua Posted April 12, 2016 Author Posted April 12, 2016 I guess for me it is just all happening so fast. It's truly hard to move on, on my part, because I loved him too much. But right now, I am starting to admit to myself that he is not worthy, even though I left all of my lines open for him in case he wants me back. He said he'll let me know and he won't hesitate to tell me if he feels something's missing.
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