how to stop being obsessed with someone

April 12, 2016

Hi there, I just joined this forum because it seems like a place that where I can chat with people in similar situations who might understand my situation. Normally I prefer to introduce myself to a forum first but I have this situation weighing so heavily on my mind that I feel the need to discuss this right away and I am hoping it will help if I type this out. I can really use some advice. sorry in advance for the long post but I have so much going on and need to vent to someone...

There is a man that was trying to talk to me from an online dating site. I actually remember him from another online dating site that i was previously involved with last summer and he was trying to talk to me on that site too. From the way he looks in his pics he is one of the sexiest men i have ever seen that had any interest in me (an extremely attractive biker guy)...in fact I was a bit surprised he has any interest in me at all ...i even wondered if he was using a fake pic. Anyway, I dont normally think or care about things like looks but i could not help but notice. Anyway at that time we chatted back and forth a bit and he wound up giving me his phone number. I never called him because I was too shy but I always had him in the back of my mind..thinking and hoping that I would someday have an opportunity to know him again. He became kind of like a fantasy man for me. a bit like the movie "10" but in reverse..lol.

Anyway eventually his profile was nowhere to be found on that dating site and I was dissapointed but in the meantime I was a non paid member of the "match" dating site and as luck would have it I happened to spot him on there but he had some different information on his profile. He had his living location different (he had his location as being in NC but on the other site it was sc). He also had it that he was divorced but on the other site he had it that he was never married. This made me suspicious but i wound up "liking" one of his pics just to see how he would respond and the next thing I know he was sending me messages left and right trying to chat with me but I had no idea what he said because I was a non paid member..but I just knew it was him because I could see his little pic on each notification that was sent to my email. He was doing this practically everyday. so i eventually caved in and joined as i was so curious what he was saying to me. I was really hoping that he was complementing me on my profile that I put alot of effort into or my diverse interests or hobbies but I was disappointed to find that he was just repeatedly asking to chat with me. I did finally have the chance now to communicate with him and all he wound up doing was giving me his phone # again..like he did last time. He also explained that he now lives in NC and SC due to the commute with his job..he said he remembered me from the other site but I was not really sure that he did... he said he was ending his membership on the site so would like to communicate with me outside of it. However, I told him that I was an ultimate member and even though he would no longer be a paid member he will still be able to communicate with me for free. he said he will no longer be going on there and that i would need to communicate with him outside of the site at this point if I wanted to get to know him..I found this a bit odd that he was so against communicating through "Match" but i went against my better judgement and wound up giving him my cell # and an email that has no info about me in it, i guess i felt like i practically joined match to see what he wanted and curiosity started getting the better of me as well as my attraction to him...and we wound up emailing back and forth and even talked on the phone once. however, the conversation started heading in a sexual direction..and once again, since i found him so attractive and thought about him for so long I kind of went with it but i dont normally engage in things like phone sex or sexting. In fact, i have not been sexually active in years.

anyway, we had these steamy emails back and forth and he seemed to put quite a bit of effort into putting together these unbelievable fantasy messages for me to read but we were also chatting and getting to know each other a bit in between. he asked repeatedly to meet me in person but I was so confused about doing this due to how the conversations were going but i did tell him eventually i would like to meet him. My confusion comes from the fact that I normally meet people as friends on dating sites to alleviate the stress that comes from first dates but this situation between me and him was taking a different turn. Anyway, in the meantime he had expressed to me how happy he was to have joined "match" and that it was worth it for the month just to get to know me. he thought i was funny and had a great personality and that he loved chatting back and forth with me like we were doing.

anyway, this went on for about 2 weeks and i could not believe i was talking to this man that i was dreaming about for so long (like I said, kind of like in the movie "10"..lol), it all seemed to good to be true, but we swapped news pics to each other and he wanted to meet me so much that it all now seemed so real and like a fantasy come to life..he would send me a morning email to me and we would chat back and forth throughout his work day...all the while expressing his interest in meeting me in person. however, last week i noticed his emails dying down a bit. i sent him a few emails with no response in return so I finally asked him if he would like to meet me last friday. i said this just to see if i would get a response and he did get back and said he could not meet me friday but could do so saturday. I made an excuse and said I was going out of town for a few weeks but that i would meet him when i get back if he still wanted to..i felt that there would need to be a little space between the sex talk and meeting him for me to feel comfortable in doing so. he messaged me saying that he will always want to meet me and to call/email him anytime and he said i was his friend and he will meet me with no expectations because he knows i fear rejection..but his email to me was kind of putting the ball in my court to message him . however, i was feeling like i was doing most of the pursuing at this point so I sent him a message back asking him to please email me if he wants to meet me when I get back april 20th...i said that i dont want to push myself on him. i also asked him if he really thinks of me as a friend but i got no response from him since. I am even wondering if he even received the message and i am tempted to send another one to find out but i am afraid that i wont get a reponse and i dont want to stalk him. i am getting the feeling he has lost interest in me...thoughout our conversations i found out that he is a womanizer and sleeps around quite a bit...this is also another reason i was hesitant about meeting him. There is no doubt that I would either be rejected by him or putty in his hands and i dont think i would be able to handle the rejection or even the one night stand even though I would also want to do that with him at the same time.

Anyway, i have not heard from him and am feeling rejected and as you may have guessed i now have become obsessed with him and i dont know how to stop this. just imagine your fantasy man or woman that you thought about for so long doing all of this to you?? i guess it is normal for me to feel this way in light of the cirsumstances. I have never found someone this sexually attractive before and i cant seem to get him off of my mind. I am also saddened that he probably did not mean it when he said he sees me as a friend and was glad he joined match to meet me. I guess these were just words that he did not mean.=(

I so wish i never communicated with him now because i dont think i will hear from him again but yet my obsession with him continues on. for all i know he could even be a crook...maybe he was planning on robbing me when we met...there were alot of strange things about him that did not make alot of sense..such as his refusal to even open a message i sent to him on match after his paid membership ended.

Anyway, In light of everything i am thinking that it would probably not be a good idea to meet him at this point..i would likely get more obsessive with him plus i dont think i will hear from him again anyway. i just want to forget about him ...does anybody have any advice?? does it sound like he might have been up to no good? how can i stop thinking about this fantasy man ? will i eventually stop ?? maybe others have had a similar experience and can offer advice??

Thanks in advance for any help with this and for listening to all of this. I feel quite a bit better just typing this all out. i look forward to reading any responses=)

April 12, 2016

Your post was long but still cought my attention. Your infactuated with a shadow thats behind a silicone board. You like how he looks but he may not look like that. Your setting your obsession on a pick and words. Words that might not be true. Everyone has a preference......mine is that I need to look at a persons eyes. Some say that the eyes are the entrance to a persons soul. You can't see or feel that through a computer.....you can only see what the other person wants you to see. If I were you I would tread carefully and.not commit your heart to something like that. Sometimes if it is to good to be true than it probably is. I would go on real dates with real people even if it doesn't work out with them, It is still better than putting your heart and feelings on a screen that has a ghost behind it. Good luck.

April 12, 2016

Well as I was reading that so many alarm bells went off for me. I think you are right to put this one in the fantasy and do not touch basket. But how to get over your obsession?

By realising your obsession with him isn't about him actually it's about what you thought he could do for you. Which was fill your void. You have a need and a craving for something and you convinced yourself that this person was the vehicle to fulfilling it. That's why you can't put it down.

Sit with yourself for however long it takes and let the feelings about him come. Don't tell yourself stories about it, just feel what you feel. Watch that feeling and recognise what part of your body it's emanating from, what it feels like and how it acts. When we have a desperate need like this it generally makes us feel tight, constricted and it moves about the body or can sometimes feel like a gaping hole in our chest for example. You don't have to think about what this is and why it's there just sit with it for a good 15 mins.

I can guarantee that later on in the day you will have a sudden insight into this situation that will lessen your obsession. Repeat everyday for however long it takes until you get clarity about yourself.

April 12, 2016

I wouldn't meet a guy who moves directly to sexual talk before even meeting. You don't know him - you only know what he types.

He could be a scammer - there's tons of them phishing the dating sites - your guy has all the signs of one of them.

I vote no go - look for a man who seems more real and is willing to have coffee within the first week. Don't give away personal info to a virtual stranger. No telling him where you live exactly or what kind of money you bring in. Always let someone else know where you're going and who you're meeting when it's someone new.

Thanks so much for the reply and suggestions. I really appreciate it.=) Actually he did want to meet right away but I kind of like to chat a bit first and the conversation started going in that sexual direction and I kind of helped it along too. However, him wanting to take the conversation off the site and give me his phone # right away was very strange,I have to admit. I also think it is EXTREMELY strange that he refuses to even open a message I send to him through Match now.

But you are right...he does have all the signs of being a scammer...I keep thinking that the fact that he is willing to meet me means he is not but that does not mean he does not want to rob me or something. Maybe him losing contact with me will turn out to be a blessing in disguise anyway.

I just hope it does not take too long for me to forget him. I feel like I can not concentrate on much of anything because of this.:sick:

Thanks so much for taking the time out to read the lengthy post and the great advice. I really appreciate it.

April 12, 2016

Your post was long but still cought my attention. Your infactuated with a shadow thats behind a silicone board. You like how he looks but he may not look like that. Your setting your obsession on a pick and words. Words that might not be true. Everyone has a preference......mine is that I need to look at a persons eyes. Some say that the eyes are the entrance to a persons soul. You can't see or feel that through a computer.....you can only see what the other person wants you to see. If I were you I would tread carefully and.not commit your heart to something like that. Sometimes if it is to good to be true than it probably is. I would go on real dates with real people even if it doesn't work out with them, It is still better than putting your heart and feelings on a screen that has a ghost behind it. Good luck.

this is sooo true!! and actually alot of the hiding behind the computer was because of me. It is alot easier to keep a fantasy going that way rather than running the risk of rejection. In alot of ways I have become addicted to that part of it more than anything else. In fact, he wanted to start sexting, but i am kind of a nerd and have not had a whole lot of sexual experiences througout my life so I was going to give that a try but could not really get into it. He sent me pics of his privates and he wanted me to send naked pics but again, I felt uneasy doing that for many reasons. I was becoming more obsessed over the fantasy talk that he was giving me than anything else as well as the kind words and compliments. I am 46 years old and have not been feeling very good about myself lately at all and I think this may be playing a MAJOR roll in all of this. I seem to be entering a depression and kind of a midlife crisis of sorts.

In truth me and him dont really have enough in common. We really have no shared interests or hobbies. I was flattered that he had an interest in me and seemed to choose me over other ladies that I know on the site that showed an interest in him and I had thought about him for so long and when I seen him on Match I almost felt like it was fate...I guess it just escalated from there but you are right....the sex talk can only last so long anyway. It is not based on reality..in fact, I might be better of hiring a gigilo if I am going to go in that direction anyway, at least this way it is more honest...lol=)

thanks so much for taking the time out to read all of that and your help and insight on this too. I really am starting to feel so much better already!!=)

April 12, 2016

Well as I was reading that so many alarm bells went off for me. I think you are right to put this one in the fantasy and do not touch basket. But how to get over your obsession?

By realising your obsession with him isn't about him actually it's about what you thought he could do for you. Which was fill your void. You have a need and a craving for something and you convinced yourself that this person was the vehicle to fulfilling it. That's why you can't put it down.

Sit with yourself for however long it takes and let the feelings about him come. Don't tell yourself stories about it, just feel what you feel. Watch that feeling and recognise what part of your body it's emanating from, what it feels like and how it acts. When we have a desperate need like this it generally makes us feel tight, constricted and it moves about the body or can sometimes feel like a gaping hole in our chest for example. You don't have to think about what this is and why it's there just sit with it for a good 15 mins.

I can guarantee that later on in the day you will have a sudden insight into this situation that will lessen your obsession. Repeat everyday for however long it takes until you get clarity about yourself.

Wow!! this is wonderful!!! I really love this idea and the suggestions that you have made here are fantastic! I will certainly try this and let you know how it turns out. At this point I am about willing to try just about anything to stop thinking about him and get over this depression I am feeling about myself as well. I will certainly try this and will let you know how it turns out.

Thanks so much for reading all of this and the very helpful response. Seems like every response is making me feel better.=) Thanks so much again=)

I am so glad that I posted on here.

April 12, 2016

Or think about it this way.

This man has spoke to you long enough for the conversation to turn sexual. You have to realise hes using you for his on sexual gratification.

Why feed his sexual needs and his ego. If it were to happen it would of happned by now. Fantasy`s like this are in your own making.

Keep busy and active and meet other nice genuaine people who will treat you right.

April 12, 2016

a lot of those sites for dating have people bots that entice you to sign up as a paid member..the fast and furious messages for example...the fact that "his" picture was common to another site and the info different is also a red flag......its not something you can prove really the people bot theory........the fade off communicating after a while is common...your post ...i dont know for sure...its a guess...it gave me that vibe......if "he" gets back in contact with you around the time you renew your membership or another enticing fellow contacts you around the same time as your renewal....be aware it could be the case.either way even if he was a genuine guy...big emphasis on the genuine...the guy sounds like a big fat fake getting off behind his computer screen while wearing flowery underwear ....use that image to try to wean yourself off thinking about him in a good light...and let the flowery guy go.............good luck..deb

Edited April 12, 2016 by todreaminblue

April 12, 2016

Or think about it this way.

This man has spoke to you long enough for the conversation to turn sexual. You have to realise hes using you for his on sexual gratification.

Why feed his sexual needs and his ego. If it were to happen it would of happned by now. Fantasy`s like this are in your own making.

Keep busy and active and meet other nice genuaine people who will treat you right.

yes, that is very true=) and I think he wants me to chase after him..probably part of his fantasy and probably why he has not contacted me. It makes no sense that he was emailing me left and right on the site just to give me his phone # and then not do much after that. The whole thing just makes no sense whatsoever. I think it must be some game for him.

Thanks so much for reading all of that and the very helpful response. I really appreciate it.

April 12, 2016

a lot of those sites for dating have people bots that entice you to sign up as a paid member..the fast and furious messages for example...the fact that "his" picture was common to another site and the info different is also a red flag......its not something you can prove really the people bot theory........the fade off communicating after a while is common...your post ...i dont know for sure...its a guess...it gave me that vibe......if "he" gets back in contact with you around the time you renew your membership or another enticing fellow contacts you around the same time as your renewal....be aware it could be the case.either way even if he was a genuine guy...big emphasis on the genuine...the guy sounds like a big fat fake getting off behind his computer screen while wearing flowery underwear ....use that image to try to wean yourself off thinking about him in a good light...and let the flowery guy go.............good luck..deb

lol..I like that one about the flowery underwear...:laugh:

yes, I could not agree more that there is something so fishy about the whole thing. What kind of person can talk to someone for a couple weeks and all of a sudden forget about them unless they are up to no good?? I would think most normal people would develop at least a slight bond with that person and not just cast them aside like he seems to have done to me. Like I said, I am not even sure if he would email me back at this point if I emailed him. I noticed a few times when we were chatting he seemed like he got annoyed and impatient about things (mainly he would get impatient about wanting to meet me) and he almost seemed like he wanted to just stop talking to me but then he would suddenly change his tone and be nice again, sort of speak. Kind of like a lose cannon.

Anyway, thanks so much for the added insight and helpful thoughts on this. I really appreciate you taking the time out to help too.

April 12, 2016

This is the very reason why I say you should meet someone as quickly as possible--because you've invested in an artificial construct of who this guy is. You can still go slow after meeting them--but you want to be sure that the person you're talking to is in fact the person they say they are.

This could have been avoided by not allowing yourself to fall in love with who you thought he was and instead meet him in a public, neutral place for coffee or ice cream to see whether or not the feelings you want to let off their leash are real or imaginary.

Also, by meeting them sooner than later, you ascertain whether or not they're real or a catfish. At first, I was leaning towards catfish because you said:

he said he was ending his membership on the site so would like to communicate with me outside of it. However, I told him that I was an ultimate member and even though he would no longer be a paid member he will still be able to communicate with me for free. he said he will no longer be going on there and that i would need to communicate with him outside of the site at this point if I wanted to get to know him..I found this a bit odd that he was so against communicating through "Match"

That is catfishing 101--lure the prospect off the site by saying "I'm cancelling my membership". (This is when you have to put your foot down and tell them "well then, it looks like we will not be getting to know one another".)

But when you go on to say that he wanted to meet you in person, that made me change my mind a bit. The fact that he was saying he lived in two different places on his profiles--well, it could be because he moved and it could also be because catfish do this.

April 12, 2016

It is what it is. Just a fantasy.

The passing of time will allow you to move on. It is the idea of someone like him existing when it is more probable that he does not exist.

When something is too good to be true, it usually isn't.

April 12, 2016

I actually found a facebook page of his and noticed that he has his location as being different on there too...so now it is 3 different locations that he is supposed to be living in..all throughout NC and SC. I also thought his pic did not look all that great on there too. I am thinking that the suggestion that he might not look that good in real life might be correct.=) Not that looks matter to me anyway, but that was how he was managing to hook me.

I also keep telling myself that he was probably intending on using me for something...or maybe even robbing me. I have heard stories of people who met people on these sites and that very thing happened. Imagine how horrible I would feel if I did meet him and he tried to do something like that to me?? who knows, maybe he was intending on doing something like that but after talking to me and seeing how nice I was he decided he could not do it to me...so maybe he is doing me the BIGGEST favor by not contacting me anymore. I keep telling myself all of these things whenever I start to dream about him and it kind of helps=)

I think the worst part to me is the anticipation of wanting him to email me again and the disappointment when I find out he has not. God, I hate that whole process!! I have been through it so many times in life and hate that dreadful feeling. Thankfully though the email he was using for me is not my standard email so I can easily just not check it anymore...but what I have been doing instead is just kind of weeding my way off this obsession. So I promise myself that I wont check that email for 2 days and then after 2 days I check, get disappointed when I see no email from him and then give myself another 3 days to check and I keep going on like this. I also do the same thing with my temptation to email him. Right now i promised myself that i wont email him for a certain length of time and when that time comes i will probably make another promise that I wont email him for another length of time and so on..I am hoping that this weeding process will slowly get me off of this obsession too..sometimes it is easier to do it that way as opposed to just doing things "cold turkey" sort of speak, just like any drug addiction.

Then of course the other game that plays out in my mind is the idea that maybe he did not get my last email to him where I asked him to contact me if he wants to get together but the email never came back to me so I am guessing he must have gotten it. In his last email to me he was putting the ball in my court telling me to contact him...I did not want it to be on me though. I want him to contact me if he really wants to meet me...so there is the temptation to resend the email or send an email asking if he got it..so frustrating!! and in the end what difference does it make anyway...continuing with the online sex thing and/or meeting him would not be a good idea anyway but I still obsess a bit about that aspect too.

God, I can not wait until this jerk is a long forgotten memory!! I have gotten over crushes and obsessions before so I know i can do it again but it never gets any easier no matter how mature I would like to think of myself as being. I am going to force myself to attend a "meetup" today and get myself out and about again. I am hoping it will do me some good to just get away from the computer.

Thanks again for all the helpful responses here!! I really appreciate everyone taking the time out and listen to my venting. This has really helped more than you can even imagine. Thankyou all so much

April 12, 2016

This is the very reason why I say you should meet someone as quickly as possible--because you've invested in an artificial construct of who this guy is. You can still go slow after meeting them--but you want to be sure that the person you're talking to is in fact the person they say they are.

This could have been avoided by not allowing yourself to fall in love with who you thought he was and instead meet him in a public, neutral place for coffee or ice cream to see whether or not the feelings you want to let off their leash are real or imaginary.

Also, by meeting them sooner than later, you ascertain whether or not they're real or a catfish. At first, I was leaning towards catfish because you said:

That is catfishing 101--lure the prospect off the site by saying "I'm cancelling my membership". (This is when you have to put your foot down and tell them "well then, it looks like we will not be getting to know one another".)

But when you go on to say that he wanted to meet you in person, that made me change my mind a bit. The fact that he was saying he lived in two different places on his profiles--well, it could be because he moved and it could also be because catfish do this.

yes, his desire to meet me was what made me think he was genuine too for a while but the other things are a bit confusing..I agree.

I tend to like to chat a bit at first to see if the person is someone I want to meet. I have a VERY big fear of rejection and I try to take the "friendship" approach with people for this very reason. I like to get a feel for whether or not the person is worth me even putting myself out for but maybe you are right...maybe I should rethink my process in regards to that in the future. Even though he was trying to say otherwise, I dont think this man was willing to do the "friend" thing with me anyway so that alone would make me and him not a match.

Anyway, thanks so much for the added response..it was very helpful;)

April 12, 2016

It is what it is. Just a fantasy.

The passing of time will allow you to move on. It is the idea of someone like him existing when it is more probable that he does not exist.

When something is too good to be true, it usually isn't.

yes, this is sooo true!! I dont think I ever thought of him as a real potential match for me anyway!! Even when he contacted me on the other site. I never understood why he contacted me. I am NOT a biker girl and I have very progressive beliefs that tend to only attract a certain kind of person (ie, vegetarian) ..he does not share my beliefs.

I know you are right..time will get me through all of this and maybe just meeting an interesting person just to be friends with might do the trick. There is so much that is feeding into this obsession that is making it worse..such as my isolating work from home job, my midlife crisis, etc..

Anyway, thanks so much for the helpful response. it is so great to have someone try and help with this ..it is really helping me through it. Thanks again,.

April 12, 2016

My guess- he's married and was looking for some side action but he chickened out (thankfully) or got caught. I bet he has kids too.

I think you dodged a major bullet.

April 12, 2016

My guess- he's married and was looking for some side action but he chickened out (thankfully) or got caught. I bet he has kids too.

I think you dodged a major bullet.

wow!! you could be right. Did not even think about that one but that could definitely be true!! or maybe he had a heart attack and dropped dead. There would be no way for me to know.

I just cant wait until he is just an afterthought for me.

Thanks for the added thoughts on this.;)

April 13, 2016

just wanted to post a quick message to once again thank everyone who has been so helpful to me with this. I never would have thought that chatting with this person would have had such a negative affect on me like this or else I never would have done it but anyway, I am getting better and better everyday. I just keep trying to remind myself that he is a scammer so there is nothing to really miss or feel bad about since it was never based on reality anyway. There are also some other really nice and interesting people who have started to communicate with me now too and some are actually far more attractive and 10 xs nicer then him. Again, I dont care about looks but I guess it is nice to have a distraction a bit.

I also keep thinking about the flowery underwear remark made by todreaminblue...and that it is probably true..:D:D

I think at this point it is becoming more of a hearbreaking feeling than anythingelse. I think it hurt most that he ignored my last message to him when I asked him if he really sees me as a friend. I guess I am surprised that someone can be so cold hearted in this world. For some reason I have a need to be friends with everyone I meet and when someone rejects that it hurts so much and to just be completely ignored after chatting with him for 2 weeks is very hurtful to me.

Anyway, thanks again everyone for all the help. Maybe I will feel better enough soon that I will start to help others on here and respond to posts that others have made. Thanks again and I will keep everyone posted. This helps me more than you can know.:)

April 14, 2016

oh boy...i had a horrible set back just now. I was on the dating site "Match" and noticed that this man had finally opened the email I sent to him last week and he also viewed my profile. I did tell him that I might be posting new pics so this could be why...however, I have not posted new pics yet. Anyway,he still never bothered to email me or respond to my last email to him so I kind of had a setback and wound up emailing him...I just said a quick "hello" and asked how he was doing. I told him that I was still in NY ( I said this to keep in line with my original lie that I said to him).

God, I hope that was not a big mistake. :sick:

I am going to feel so bad if he does not get back to me but I will probably eventually tell him how I feel if he does not and I may just tell him that I dont think it is right to play with peoples emotions like he has.

I cant believe I have gotten so hung up on him like this. There are so many nicer people that have been messaging me lately. I think I am now obsessing over the rejection more than anything else. I have difficulty accepting that not everyone wants to be my friend..especially when they say they do.

I feel kind of sick to my stomach now that I did that. I wish I did not have such an obsessive personality like this and more of a life. Anyway, I will keep others posted on how things turn out.

April 14, 2016

Yeah it was a bad move but on the plus side, you e never met him, you don't actually know him, and in a few weeks when you're over this, you'll probably just laugh at yourself about it.

No biggie..but..definitely don't do it again.

April 14, 2016

Yeah it was a bad move but on the plus side, you e never met him, you don't actually know him, and in a few weeks when you're over this, you'll probably just laugh at yourself about it.

No biggie..but..definitely don't do it again.

yes, you are probably right. it probably was a mistake. I guess I was just surprised that he checked out my profile like he did. I have not heard back from him so far but of course he might email me tomorrow.

just so you know...this is supposed to be a 55 year old man that I am referring to. You would think from the way I describe him and the games that he seems like he is playing that he is only 15 years old. This is a scary world we live in.

Anyway, thanks so much for the response ChickiePops;) I still feel a bit sick that I did that but I guess I was curious to see if he would respond to me at all at this point. If he does not I might be tempted to at least tell him how I feel about his game playing. do you think that would be a mistake??

Nothing has changed on my end so there would be no reason for him to have any different feelings towards me than he had a week or so ago when he was messaging me left and right. I am going to try so hard not to take it personally if he does not get back but it wont be easy. In the meantime I have been chatting with some extremely nice people on Match and eventually I think they will all help me get over this idiot as well as all the great people on here and of course time. =)

Thanks again=)

April 14, 2016

just wanted to update...

I did get a response back from him...he said he is doing good and nothing new with him and that he figured I was busy but is still hoping to meet me when I get back. So it was a very quick response. I am relieved that he did not totally ignore me.

Not sure what any of this means or proves anyway. I also dont understand why he never responded to my last message when I asked if he really sees me as a friend. I guess the bottom line is I dont think he is crazy about me or anything but I think he wants to meet me out of curiosity.

I dont think I could ever meet him (or anybody) from online dating unless I felt they would be willing to be friends with me. I make that very clear in my profile. I also feel that he is still possibly a scammer and I am probably too obsessed with him at this point to meet him in a normal manner.

Oh well, I am relieved he messaged me back for whatever it is worth. =)

just wanted to update everyone=)

April 14, 2016

Only way to get over someone is to never see or hear from them again. If they keep contacting you from time to time, you have to block their number and from your social media accounts. If they keep coming around to "bump" into somewhere or by "coincidence", then you confront them to let them know to leave you alone.

April 14, 2016

When you so much want to be just friends with him you are actually making him feel rejected romantically:confused: at least thats the way i feel when somebody Im attracted to wants to be friends, (ok maybe in your case because its so early on its allright, but still an alarming signal i think:confused:) i feel so bad i just Want to runaway, and cry and Then i get maybe angry:confused: just my view i think your insecurity is making you at bit of a player, actually your playing his emotions:o (offcourse he Can be incinsire, but in case hes not)

just my view, i may be wrong:) wish you:love:

April 15, 2016

truth_seeker and Noideanow..thanks for the added advice on this. I really appreciate it:)

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