Ben1ppp Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I have or should I say was seeing this girl for the last 2, nearly 3 months. Anyhow just about a week ago she suggested we stop seeing each other, I'll go into why now. I met the girl at my friends house we didn't speak but we ended up speaking online and we arranged to meet, the day before we met was the day she 'officially' ended things with her ex, I didn't know this at the time however, by the sounds things had been rocky/ on and off for a while. I happen to know the ex also. First date was the cinema things went well, we carried on talking and things started to progress quite quickly, I'd say a month in we'd done everything intimate and I was going round nearly every night to see her, I know you'll say I saw her too much but it was more so her asking to see me, I know she was treated badly in her last relationship so I just wanted to treat her as good as possible. If I'm honest she did seem really into me, I know she was because I know she was talking me up to her friends and asking my girl friends all about me and wanting to know more and more, she only used to say good things to me and make me feel good about myself. We were planning to go on a long weekend away to a different country, and just making lots of plans in general, she used to talk ahead into the future, as if she saw us still seeing each other then. I know it was too soon but we happily told each other I love you, it didn't scare either of us away so we just went with it, we would say it before we went to sleep. It just felt like we'd known each other years. Anyway things were only getting better then one Monday 3 weeks ago when I'd normally go round she made out she was busy and that she would ring me when she was in bed, keeping this in mind I automatically had a gut feeling something was up, she did ring me but the phone call was very short 10 mins or so, normally we can talk for hours. So yeah I thought it was strange but didn't say anything I just went with it. But 10 minutes later she rang back saying I need to speak to you, she basically said a relationship is the last thing she wants right now as she'd just come out of one and that she feels we were heading that way and that she just wants to take things slow, I said that's fine I'm in no rush and I'm happy with how things are going and I'd like to take things slow aswell. Since this day we havnt seen each other like we did and when I did see her she seemed distant, hardley hug, kiss etc. I never said anything to show I noticed a difference I just went with the flow. It was like this for a week then one night she rang me and said she thinks it's best if we stop seeing each other as she thinks we want different things, and she just wants to be happy without having to worry about me or my feelings. I didn't kick up a fuss I just said okay you know I like but like I said I'm in no rush I just take each day as it comes. As of yet we still havnt met again, I tried to go no contact but she would message me nearly every day saying, "hi you okay?" I wouldn't be rude i would reply but just keep it short. Until I said if you can't see things going back to how they were then I think it's best if we stop talking as it will be easier for me to get over you. She said okay and told me about the whole still being friends thing. A few more days of no contact and I get a text, " hope your okay I just want you to know that I do miss you, just incase you think I dont x" I just replied with same. Okay so obviously I like the girl like I've never liked anyone, I want things to get back on track and I want a future, but it seems unlikely. Sorry to bore you, I just wanted to get all points across and make things crystal clear. This is my first post so I hope to get some feedback as it's driving me crazy. 1
Satu Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 It's very obvious that you were the rebound she used to 'get over' her ex. There's no future for you with this girl. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. 2
LD1990 Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 You have basically two options here. 1. You block this girl completely so you don't get anymore messages from her. It's gonna hurt but it will get better and you'll be able to move on with your life. 2. You continue to allow her to stay in contact with you. She continues to text you meaningless BS that gives you that faintest glimmer of hope but really only serves to boost her ego. This keeps going on until she discards you completely or you decide to give option 1 a try. Chalk this one up as a lesson learned, the lesson being that people who complain about lousy relationships, set up their next relationship in advance, and then fast track that new relationship tend to be unstable partners who will do the same thing to every partner. 2
Author Ben1ppp Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 I did say that I felt like a rebound, she said how dare you say that, if I wanted a rebound I'd of found someone that I didn't care about, she used to say I was everything shed ever want in a boyfriend and even more. However thanks for the reply I just find it hard to understand how she changed so quick. 1
Satu Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I did say that I felt like a rebound, she said how dare you say that, if I wanted a rebound I'd of found someone that I didn't care about, she used to say I was everything shed ever want in a boyfriend and even more. However thanks for the reply *I just find it hard to understand how she changed so quick. *She didn't change 'so quick.' She was never really into you. You were a band-aid. Sorry. Take care. 1
Author Ben1ppp Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 LD, everything ends up at option number 1, it's just hard because she said at one point she felt like she would be happy in a relationship with me, all I'm doing is literally just waiting and hoping she changes her mind but it's just getting me down 1
Satu Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 LD, everything ends up at option number 1, it's just hard because she said at one point she felt like she would be happy in a relationship with me, all I'm doing is literally just waiting and hoping she changes her mind but it's just getting me down *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. 1
Author Ben1ppp Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 I know that's the way to go with how she's being. But my frame of mind is 100% wanting a positive outcome, ie her regretting her decision. As we speak just had a text saying, " I just want you to know that I do miss you, I think so much of you and I just miss the person you are" all this does is give me a glimmer of hope that there still a chance of things progressing. I really want to reply. Once again I appreciatiate the time and effort of your replies. I am 22, however I may not seem it, this has just hit me hard, I do have previous relationships so I do know all advice currently given is correct but just too hard to accept. 2
LD1990 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Keep in mind that the person who's using you as a rebound usually doesn't know that. It's not like she went into this relationship with you thinking "I'll use him as a rebound." But regardless of her opinion, that's what you were. She didn't like her relationship anymore, so she left to be in a relationship with you. She got serious with you as quickly as possible to replace what she lost when she dumped her ex. No contact is tough. Getting your emotions jerked around because you won't block a girl that's using you for an ego boost is a lot tougher. Just remember, she's not texting because she's thinking of you. She's texting because she wants you to keep thinking about her. If she really missed you, and thought about you, and missed the person that you are so much...she'd be working her ass off to be with you. 2
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