NTB Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 so after 3 months of NC and it's been 5 months since the break up now all of a sudden she is asking my friends and our mutual friends about me.........i don't get it??............she moved on way faster than i did, just a month after we broke up she was seeing somebody new which she so had to just tell me about she called me every time she had a date with him to tell me about it. thing is should i call her or no.......yesterday a mutual friend called me and told me my ex called her just to ask about me to see if i was seeing anybody, how i was doing and etc. and then she tells me that my ex told her "if you see him tell him to call me"..........i don't call her and i didn't even think about breaking NC but now since her friend told me this all i can think about is calling her........i thought i was doing better but now i am have second thoughts so what should i do call her or just let it go....
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 let it go. you always want what you can't have. this is no good at all!
Opium Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Being in a relationship you have connections and a comfort level that you reach with this person. If you want to talk to her to see how's she's doing and feel your emotions won't get in the way, I see nothing wrong with just "talking". Now, if you still have feelings, you have to wonder if the reason she's asking about you is because: 1. She just wants to see how you're doing and talk as friends. 2. She's lonely and "needs" a man to talk too. 3. Realizes she still has feelings for you, and maybe wants to work things out. After a breakup the relationship can be better but think of the "kind" of relationship you had and if you feel you both can make changes. This is of course if you feel you still could be with her knowing she was with another guy. BO has a point, after sometime you just have to learn how to let go! In the end, you're going to do whatever it is you feel right, just go with your gut feelings, they're 99.9% of the time on point!
outdated Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 I say let it go. She was rubbing it in your face that she had a date and you don't treat someone you love like that. Go out and meet somebody new. I know it's easier said than done, but it's worked for me! The only time I think about my ex now is when I realize how long it's been since I've thought about her. the quicker you put it in motion, the quicker you'll move on. Good luck!
Opium Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by outdated I say let it go. She was rubbing it in your face that she had a date and you don't treat someone you love like that. Go out and meet somebody new. I know it's easier said than done, but it's worked for me! The only time I think about my ex now is when I realize how long it's been since I've thought about her. the quicker you put it in motion, the quicker you'll move on. Good luck! Or that too!
Lonestar Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Obviously she broke up with this guy she was dating and she's single again. That's why she's asking about you. She's lonely now and looking for an ego boost, probably thinking and wondering who you're seeing or if you're still pining over her. It's natural for people to start wondering about exes after another relationship fails. I wouldn't call her if I were you. She knows how to reach you and if she's really dead set on getting in touch with you she will. Right now she's putting the feelers out to see how quickly you respond. If you do, you'll look weak. Let it go.
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by Lonestar Obviously she broke up with this guy she was dating and she's single again. That's why she's asking about you. She's lonely now and looking for an ego boost, probably thinking and wondering who you're seeing or if you're still pining over her. It's natural for people to start wondering about exes after another relationship fails. I wouldn't call her if I were you. She knows how to reach you and if she's really dead set on getting in touch with you she will. Right now she's putting the feelers out to see how quickly you respond. If you do, you'll look weak. Let it go. Word.
FolderWife Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Lonestar is absolutely right. She needs an ego boost, and wants you to call her. Like she said, if she really wants to talk to you, she will find a way to contact you on her own. DO NOT CALL HER. Realize that she doesn't want you, she wants you to make her feel better.
Author NTB Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 but why from me?? last time i spoke to her i told her i wanted nothing to do with her cause the way she was treating me.........girls are evil but i will take the advice and let it go
Forget About Her Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 PLEASE...I AM BEGGING YOU...LISTEN TO ME! I was in almost the same exact position as you, time wise and situational as well. She seemed to move on after 5 years almost instantly. I had NC for close to 3 months, and she dated some other guy for a while. After they split, she started asking my boys about me, was I seeing someone, how was I, etc. I broke down and we started talking. We actually hung out nearly everyday for a week and a half. It WON'T work! She's using you as a security blanket. Believe me, i wanted to believe that she came to her senses and realized that I was the one for her, but she was just lonely. Don't get back with her, it's not worth it!
Jadey Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Its simple, people dont like when their exes stop pining over them, contacting them and telling them they want them back. Therefore most of them get worried that you ARE over them and so they want to know what youre up to, contact you, to see how you react to them. Basically its more than likely an ego boost sadly Also remember, people long for what they cant have!! I say stay with NC untill she contacts you. And even then think hard about responding Stay strong
blue16 Posted June 19, 2005 Posted June 19, 2005 That's so lame "If you see him tell him to call me." she's just testing to see if you'll take the bait so she can boost her own ego. If she wants to talk to you then she can call. If she DOES call...do not fall into her trap and instantly think everythings good. Let her chase you, then you can decide what you want to do.
Rhythm28 Posted June 22, 2005 Posted June 22, 2005 Sounds alot like my situation. My ex has ALOT of pride. It's been almost a month of no contact but I know she's been calling some mutual friends and then they call me asking if I'm going out or what I'm doing this weekend. I can't prove it but why else would they call? Stick to NC. It's tough but you feel better about yourself when you don't cave in and pick up the phone.
Author NTB Posted June 23, 2005 Author Posted June 23, 2005 well i didn't call her and what i did do was told my boys not to tell her anything about me and to tell me nothing if she asks about me and they were cool with it but the females (her friends) that was another story i asked them to stop calling to fish for info so they could report it back to their fearless leader and if they wanted to call to talk that was cool but i didn't like the fact that they would call me and want to play 21 questions............ so i got the "your a jerk she just wants to know how you are doing" i didn't feel like explaining that i still love this girl and really it was killing me that she would be seeing some one new and well i just said "yeah i'm a jerk whatever" i swear i thought all this was done with just when i think i have her out of my life she crawls back in
She_Devil Posted June 23, 2005 Posted June 23, 2005 If she wants to talk to you, she will call. Don't make it easy on her. I don't understand why people are always going on about ex's. You don't have to keep in contact with them for any reason other than children and even then it is overated(trust me I know). Move on don't look back. Don't give them anything you want back, cut your losses move on. Sorry that was starting to be a rant!
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