Author whatonearthshouldido Posted April 12, 2016 Author Posted April 12, 2016 We are of middle-eastern culture. We didn't tell him to divorce her, my brother brought it up. All we said is that he can do whatever he thinks is best for his life. Why people on this board refuse to accept that we tell him that its his life and that we told him that there is no need for his wife to get us involved is beyond my control. I am being told about saying we have to stay out of it when on multiple posts I have said that we are staying out of it and she is forcing us to get involved. Plus, i didnt seek opinions elsewhere. This is my first time every posting on any site.
Toodaloo Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Its your brothers decision. His life, personally I think he needs to grow a pair fast, but hey that is one persons opinion. I think you all need to tell him that you love him and will support him no matter what his decision however if he does decide to stay with her that she is not welcome in your homes and she is to be kept separate from you. Personally I think this is a major clash of personalities and he needs to end it before children do arrive. The faster the better. If he has already married her he need to get a good lawyer so he can keep his home and his bank balance, get a quick divorce and get rid. If this is the first time you are posting on this site then why are you commenting on the advice being given being so different?
Author whatonearthshouldido Posted April 12, 2016 Author Posted April 12, 2016 I read other posts on other websites that are identical to our situation, except that our situation is a little worse than the ones I read. I never posted on other threads or made any comments; just read them. That's why I was shocked at the comments made here. We advised that if he is happy and wants to stay with her, then do so. We just wont be part of the overall picture. We will see him and not see her and we are fine with that.
mightycpa Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 You originally asked what you should do. The correct answer is nothing. This is your brother's bed, not yours, not your mother's, not anybody else's. It's his life, he can either live with his decision to marry her or he cannot. It doesn't matter if he's weak or easily manipulated or whatever. This marriage may have an effect on you, but it does not suffer from your lack of attention. All you can be is a sympathetic ear to him, and he's got to figure out what he's going to do and when he's going to do it. 2
mightycpa Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 I'd be livid, but that's because we've never had the sort of dynamics I've read in your posts. Maybe I'm one of the ones who didn't understand what you were conveying, but did I read correctly that you wanted to exclude him from a family event and told him that you only wanted adults there? And this deal about an engagement party where gifts were exchanged escaped me as well. Maybe it's due to cultural differences, but I don't see anybody treating others particularly well in this situation. You did not read correctly. It was the crazy wife's sister's ne'er-do-well party-crashing boyfriend. I get the impression that to you, "him" is the brother?
Emilia Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 We are of middle-eastern culture. We didn't tell him to divorce her, my brother brought it up. All we said is that he can do whatever he thinks is best for his life. Why people on this board refuse to accept that we tell him that its his life and that we told him that there is no need for his wife to get us involved is beyond my control. I am being told about saying we have to stay out of it when on multiple posts I have said that we are staying out of it and she is forcing us to get involved. Plus, i didnt seek opinions elsewhere. This is my first time every posting on any site. I think that you and your family look down on her and her lot and she can tell. Not sure what makes you think you are so special. Stop meddling.
GorillaTheater Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 You did not read correctly. It was the crazy wife's sister's ne'er-do-well party-crashing boyfriend. I get the impression that to you, "him" is the brother? That's what I thought originally, yes. I don't think I'm the only one confused about the OP's situation, but it could be my fault that I'm not grasping the situation correctly.
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