sxzzy Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 hey everyone. my ex and I were together for 2 years. it was very serious and we lived together for about a year. we were long distance for about 8 months before I took a study abroad program to be near him. the program ended and we were back to a long distance. we have a lot of good memories together and I know he loved me a lot. I was his first serious gf and his first kiss, first everything pretty much. but then he started saying that he has changed, he's not feeling happy and he feels as though he lost himself and his friends and stuff. he believes that I was too controlling and made him choose between his friends and me (which wasn't the case). he said its best to break up since we won't see each other for like a year anyways and it's been 4 weeks since the breakup. the ending was confusing because in the last few weeks he'd disappear off and not talk to me the entire day, saying that he doesn't want to talk. I found out that he was going out with friends and other people, drinking etc. finally, we ended things and I didn't act hostile, said good luck and that I hope he doesn't forget the memories. he didn't reply. I haven't contacted him since and neither has he. I think he is seeing a new girl, straight away (like 2 days after the breakup). it hurts a lot that he would do that because it's the last thing I would expect from him. he's always told me that it's me or no one else. I never begged him or called or texted but he's blocked me off Facebook and Instagram. I've been taking steps to heal myself and some days are better than others. I've reconnected with old friends and am trying to lead a normal life but I wish he would contact me soon. do you think he will? what should I do? I want him back - but I also know that things aren't the same anymore. but I at least want a chance because I do miss him a lot and we shared everything together. we were basically together 24/7 for a year. 1
confuseddddgirl Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 honestly i know how you feel. 4 weeks of nc is pretty good and you should keep it up ! dont give him the satisfaction of knowing that your sad and hurt. he may be seeing another someone else, but she will never be you. im sure you cross his mind but since there is long distance between the 2 of you he's probably thinking that it'll never work out if you guys were to get back together. just do you and dont expect anything. if its meant to be it will be, trust me. 1
Author sxzzy Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 thank you so much for the reply. I've been doing pretty well for the last few weeks but starting to relapse again. this really helps and makes me feel better. I just gotta keep going.
Lasko Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 hey everyone. my ex and I were together for 2 years. it was very serious and we lived together for about a year. we were long distance for about 8 months before I took a study abroad program to be near him. the program ended and we were back to a long distance. we have a lot of good memories together and I know he loved me a lot. I was his first serious gf and his first kiss, first everything pretty much. but then he started saying that he has changed, he's not feeling happy and he feels as though he lost himself and his friends and stuff. he believes that I was too controlling and made him choose between his friends and me (which wasn't the case). he said its best to break up since we won't see each other for like a year anyways and it's been 4 weeks since the breakup. the ending was confusing because in the last few weeks he'd disappear off and not talk to me the entire day, saying that he doesn't want to talk. I found out that he was going out with friends and other people, drinking etc. finally, we ended things and I didn't act hostile, said good luck and that I hope he doesn't forget the memories. he didn't reply. I haven't contacted him since and neither has he. I think he is seeing a new girl, straight away (like 2 days after the breakup). it hurts a lot that he would do that because it's the last thing I would expect from him. he's always told me that it's me or no one else. I never begged him or called or texted but he's blocked me off Facebook and Instagram. I've been taking steps to heal myself and some days are better than others. I've reconnected with old friends and am trying to lead a normal life but I wish he would contact me soon. do you think he will? what should I do? I want him back - but I also know that things aren't the same anymore. but I at least want a chance because I do miss him a lot and we shared everything together. we were basically together 24/7 for a year. You are his first for everything so its very likey that he has not experience relationships enough to determine what a healthy relationship is. its not your fault, he has GIGS. these are more typical on people who are younger and still wants to have fun, or people who are immature. my ex was 28 and she has GIGS, thinking that there was somthing better out there. stay no contact. dont give him the best of both worlds. 1
smudge21 Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I think you were living in hope despite being NC. Now that the realisation has started to creep in, it's like the break up all over again. Been there, done that. It's so unforgiving when you realise they're not coming back, but in many ways, it's also like a final nail in the coffin and now you are free to really start healing. It's always tough to let someone go, especially someone you loved so much, but remember that he left you. Nothing you did caused any of this. You are still worthy of so much better and will find that once you're healed from this. All the best. 1
PegNosePete Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I want him back Doesn't he have a say in the matter?? If he doesn't want you back then it's simply not going to happen. I'm afraid to say that through his silence, he's made it pretty clear that he doesn't want you back. You need to stick to NC and move on... 2
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 . but then he started saying that he has changed, he's not feeling happy and he feels as though he lost himself and his friends and stuff. he believes that I was too controlling and made him choose between his friends and me (which wasn't the case). he said its best to break up since we won't see each other for like a year anyways I think he is seeing a new girl, straight away (like 2 days after the breakup). he's blocked me off Facebook and Instagram. I've been taking steps to heal myself and some days are better than others. . do you think he will? what should I do? I want him back - but I also know that things aren't the same anymore. but I at least want a chance because I do miss him a lot and we shared everything together. Because he broke up with you, deleted you from social media and is already dating somebody else, no I don't think he will ever contact you again. Even though you were the 1st, that relationship has run it's course. He's done & he has moved on. You should do the same. Allow yourself to grieve. Surround yourself with positive people but move forward. He's not coming back. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I think it's really over, OP. There is a reason these first loves rarely last. People naturally want to date around, explore their world. We change so much when we're young and our choice in partners reflects that. Add long-distance to that, and it's very difficult to maintain a relationship. It's very hard, but you will someday feel better. You've already done a great job keeping up No Contact for 4 weeks. Continue that. I promise that he hasn't forgotten all about you, but he is moving on from it. You should do the same. 1
Satu Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Stick to NC and concentrate on getting your needs met in a healthy way The sooner you accept that it's permanently over, the sooner the healing will kick in. Carry on spending time with the other important in your life, and prioritise your mental, emotional, and physical health above all else. You will heal. Take care.
Author sxzzy Posted April 12, 2016 Author Posted April 12, 2016 thank you for the responses. it's really hard because I really thought it would last. we were really compatible and just always got each other and had the same likes and whatnot. we had a lot of good memories. I wish it didn't turn out this way but to hear that it's really over for good, makes me feel relieved and incredibly sad at the same time.
d0nnivain Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Acceptance is the 1st step toward full healing. You are on your way.
ashley1992 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 hii.. having no contact clearly is extremely hard.. im going through it at the moment.. i guess if he really wanted u and the relationship... he would try to contact.. the same thing in my situation.. he hasnt tried to show hes sorry or contact me..i guess it just shows... and yes.. hes in the wrong so thereforee he should be the one trying.. i guess u can see hes true colours. u deserve someone much better!
Skipper1 Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 Hi guys, I just joined today and don't know if this is the right section to post my story but here I go... I was in my first real relationship, we were long distance. We were talking/together for a good (almost) 4 months. We broke up the 22nd of March and today is April 13th. It was a mutual break up but he was definitely the one that initiated it. (Once I get the hang on this site, I'll post my story!) We followed each other on social media (Instagram and Snapchat). The day after our breakup, I posted a picture and he did as well. (We both rarely post) We liked each others posts. After that, I've put up a couple of pictures and he continues to like them. As well as watch my Snapchat story's. The only "contact" we had is when (exactly two weeks from the date we broke up) he snapchatted me a picture of an edit he had made in his photography class and he captioned it "This looks cool". I just opened it but didn't respond. I feel like he sent me that just to see if I would start a conversation with him. Anyways, the day after he snapchatted me, I deleted him off of my Instagram and Snapchat. He isn't blocked...just deleted. We'll be broken up a month officially on the 22nd of April. And in a few days we'll be 4 weeks of NC. I'm wondering if he'll come back...
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