Do women like men who give them space?

[carhill]

Hold on loosely. If she's attracted, she'll hang around, if not, fly, fly away.

[GravityMan]

Any woman with decent self esteem will run like the wind once she gets the picture that a guy's controlling. And, controlling guys are desperately insecure guys or else they wouldn't behave that way.

 

A man is not in any position to give a woman "some" freedom. Women ARE free.

 

Precisely. (For both women and men.)

 

The phrase "give them space" in the OP's thread title should immediately set off caution lights for any secure adult with a decent head on their shoulders.

 

This whole notion of "space" wouldn't arise in the first place if both people were secure. It would be a non-issue.

[Popsicle]

Just a wild guess. Cancers are freakin' awesome though! (At least the ones I've known).

 

Thanks!

[MissBee]

I know guys who try to control almost every aspect of a women's life. If they drink, smoke, shop, whatever. The women seem to be happy but when they break up they share how they were so miserable. Then there are guys who back off and let their lady have freedom and they seem to have a better relationship. Do women respond better to having some freedom? If so why do so many dudes do the opposite?

 

I'm not someone's pet, child, or slave. I could never be with a man who thought controlling any aspect of my life was a normal part of dating and who even needed to consider "giving me freedom" or space.

 

My ideal relationship is where my SO and I have our own lives, our own ambitions, careers, friends, interests and we come together as a couple and share our lives but we still have our own identities, interests, things we may do separately and are full human beings outside of the relationship. That's part of what is exciting and why I even like someone...because they are their own person. I want to know they love me and choose to be faithful because of their own choice, I don't want to be with someone who I control...that's not fun...and I certainly wouldn't tolerate a man who felt he had to control me.

 

It is deeply insecure (and therefore unattractive) to attempt to control someone in a relationship. Many guys (and women) do it because of a deep insecurity or thinking for some reason that relationship means ownership.

Edited April 12, 2016 by MissBee

[bathtub-row]

Do women respond better to having some freedom?

 

Doesn't everyone? I mean, who likes being controlled?

 

I've yet to meet the guy who was willing to give me space. They have all been needy drama kings.

 

I have no answers for you as to why men do these things. But a lot of women do it too. Very few people can give their SO's space.

Edited April 12, 2016 by bathtub-row

[stillafool]

Do you always feel like you need validation though?

 

Not at all.

[S_A]

I have no answers for you as to why men do these things. But a lot of women do it too.

 

Totally agree that there are women that do it too.

[singlelife]

I mean why stress a chick out?

[fitnessfan365]

A key element of attraction is longing. So if you're always in a woman's face, how is she supposed to miss you? But at the same time, being too aloof can also make her lose interest because she won't feel wanted.

 

The easiest thing is to let a woman initiate most of the communication. Then when she does, you make plans with her. The more she reaches out, the more often you see her. Now that's not to say that you should never initiate. You definitely should. However, by focusing mainly on making plans, it helps to keep attraction stronger in my experience.

[Lady2163]

I think I understand what the OP is asking. I know this can be a hot button topic and people can get hung up on semantics - how they personally define a specific word.

 

Space in this context is the willingness to not micro manage a partners every decision. You don't feel the need to weigh in on all aspects of their life. You don't have to see them every day or spend every free hour together.

 

Now, there is such a thing as neglect and abuse. A while some woman on here posted all the things she was doing to play hard to get with a guy who was crazy about her. She had INTENTIONALLY pulled so much crap, he didn't believe her when she told him she loved him. I think she was young, too. A budding narcissist.

 

If you ignore texts and call it giving space, you're the one taking space for yourself to respond.

 

If you ignore your partner when they are asking for your help or want to spend specific days together (birthday, graduation, anniversary, etc), you aren't giving them space and free time - you're possibly ruining special days for them.

 

Which leads me to a spin off of another post on here. If you have a crisis and need to ask your P for some time, space or a break, the moment it becomes neglectful instead of just time, space or a break, that makes you a jerk. Anyone who puts someone on hold or limbo for an undetermined amount of time is a control junkie.

 

There are times it is acceptable. Let's say you're an accountant. No doubt during the last few weeks, you've been swamped. If I was dating someone at a tax firm, I wouldn't expect much the month before April 15th. But the better show up with bells on, flowers and tickets to somewhere or something April 16th (or you know, the first day it isn't swamped anymore).

 

I've been divorced around 20 years. I haven't had a relationship that involved living together since. I've had the discussion, but it never happened. If a man tried to tell me how to spend my money or told me I was not allowed to do something I had researched, we wouldn't be together much longer after that.

[singlelife]

A key element of attraction is longing. So if you're always in a woman's face, how is she supposed to miss you? But at the same time, being too aloof can also make her lose interest because she won't feel wanted.

 

The easiest thing is to let a woman initiate most of the communication. Then when she does, you make plans with her. The more she reaches out, the more often you see her. Now that's not to say that you should never initiate. You definitely should. However, by focusing mainly on making plans, it helps to keep attraction stronger in my experience.

 

What you said. Make them want you. Who wants to be all up on somebody all the time anyway?

[singlelife]

I think I understand what the OP is asking. I know this can be a hot button topic and people can get hung up on semantics - how they personally define a specific word.

 

Space in this context is the willingness to not micro manage a partners every decision. You don't feel the need to weigh in on all aspects of their life. You don't have to see them every day or spend every free hour together.

 

Now, there is such a thing as neglect and abuse. A while some woman on here posted all the things she was doing to play hard to get with a guy who was crazy about her. She had INTENTIONALLY pulled so much crap, he didn't believe her when she told him she loved him. I think she was young, too. A budding narcissist.

 

If you ignore texts and call it giving space, you're the one taking space for yourself to respond.

 

If you ignore your partner when they are asking for your help or want to spend specific days together (birthday, graduation, anniversary, etc), you aren't giving them space and free time - you're possibly ruining special days for them.

 

Which leads me to a spin off of another post on here. If you have a crisis and need to ask your P for some time, space or a break, the moment it becomes neglectful instead of just time, space or a break, that makes you a jerk. Anyone who puts someone on hold or limbo for an undetermined amount of time is a control junkie.

 

There are times it is acceptable. Let's say you're an accountant. No doubt during the last few weeks, you've been swamped. If I was dating someone at a tax firm, I wouldn't expect much the month before April 15th. But the better show up with bells on, flowers and tickets to somewhere or something April 16th (or you know, the first day it isn't swamped anymore).

 

I've been divorced around 20 years. I haven't had a relationship that involved living together since. I've had the discussion, but it never happened. If a man tried to tell me how to spend my money or told me I was not allowed to do something I had researched, we wouldn't be together much longer after that.

 

A person won't be happy if you make them do what you want them to. Why not accept a person for who they are?

[elaine567]

It's a fine line to tread and it is very individual, no solution fits all.

Space is important, but it has to be the right kind of space and at the right time.

Some women value their space and feel suffocated if given too little, whilst others given "space" hate it as they feel "Well he doesn't give a damn about me.."

During traumatic events some need space to sort their heads out, whilst others need the comfort and safety of closeness.

Space can therefore make or break relationships, get it right everybody is happy, get it wrong and it won't work out.

[Justanaverageguy]

Here is the thing: Some women do like to have their own space .... some don't and love to be in a tightly coupled relationship where the almost become a single entity with their partner (you all know the type).

 

People are different. Yes boring response but its true. I'm a prototypical Aquarius. I value my independence more then anything. Nothing turns me off quicker then a clingy type. I value my own space and also value and find it attractive when a woman I am seeing values her own space. It means when we get together we are actually really excited to see each other and have something interesting to talk about. Its a balance though you need to find someone who "fits". I've seen this be both a hugely attractive and unattractive trait to different women. Some just can't understand why I would possibly want to spend time without them

Edited April 21, 2016 by Justanaverageguy

[singlelife]

Why stress out a woman? Just enjoy the relationship.