BrokenBadly Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 This seems to be the one thing i have been struggling with. Me and my ex were together for 2 years both about 30 yrs old. She broke up with me via email (which absolutely hurts) 6 weeks ago. In her email she stated that she could never tell how i felt about her in the relationship and often times i made comments or actions that hurt her feelings. I never really knew that i was hurting her that much. It is so difficult to not constantly beat myself up over my mistakes that caused the relationship to end... . I literally begged and pleaded that we get couples counseling and things could be so much better if we worked on some of those things. Im just struggling so much with that. Its so hard to except that i messed up and now its over .... causing me all this pain that i am in now. I have never felt so low in my life. I thought she was going to be my future bride and we were going to start a family in the next few years:(
Rachel39 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 It hurts sometimes to think we weren't given a fair chance to change things or make amends, but maybe sometime apart will help you both and if there has been no lies or cheating, maybe at some point you could have a conversation if it's what you really want. You also have to be prepared for rejection but pls don't do what most of us have done and that is bet it's humilTing and makes you feel terrible. Go no contact try to heal yourself
NVO Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 (edited) I never really knew that i was hurting her that much. If you did not know, how could you ever change your behavior? She breaks up with you by e-mail, than puts the blame on you... Seems to me that you are not the one who should feel guilty. Just imagine the mistakes you made. Picture yourself and her in that setting. And try to remember how you felt at that moment. Did you do the things you regret on purpose? Did you really want to hurt her? Or did you always act with her best interest in mind? I'll bet you never wanted to hurt her. And if she did not communicate her complaints, how could you possibly know? Edited April 11, 2016 by NVO
keiji Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 (edited) This seems to be the one thing i have been struggling with. Me and my ex were together for 2 years both about 30 yrs old. She broke up with me via email (which absolutely hurts) 6 weeks ago. In her email she stated that she could never tell how i felt about her in the relationship and often times i made comments or actions that hurt her feelings. I never really knew that i was hurting her that much. It is so difficult to not constantly beat myself up over my mistakes that caused the relationship to end... . I literally begged and pleaded that we get couples counseling and things could be so much better if we worked on some of those things. Im just struggling so much with that. Its so hard to except that i messed up and now its over .... causing me all this pain that i am in now. I have never felt so low in my life. I thought she was going to be my future bride and we were going to start a family in the next few years:( I'm on the same boat, and let me tell you: it's not fair to be hurting due to your partner's behaviour and not telling them, not sharing with them how you feel and give things a chance to smooth out. I wasn't given a chance to speak and try to solve our differences (which were minor, if you ask me). My ex-g had huge problems to express her feelings, so she hid her upset from me. Then she got fed up and dumped me. And, believe me, I'm not beating myself up for it. Communication is essential and a right you should give to your significant other. Edited April 11, 2016 by keiji 1
Author BrokenBadly Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 Thanks guys! Yeah that is what everyone is saying. That she fails to communicate. I was thinking about it earlier today. We often had "serious" talks whenever an issue did arise, and we somehow worked through other things in the past, but one common theme that i remember is that she would always ask me how i felt or how i thought but never would reveal her feelings or thoughts and often times i felt as if we were playing poker and she knew my cards but i had know idea of hers. (metaphorically speaking)
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