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What's his deal? Mixed Messages? Lol


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Posted (edited)

I posted last week re: how long should I wait for a guy to ask for a second date. Everyone seemed to think 1 week was the appropriate amount of time. So get this...

 

First official date (we'd gone for coffee once prior): I go to this place, he cooks me dinner, we have amazing conversation, talk for hours, and end up making out hot and heavy. Amazing. No sex, but the date went really well.

 

We've been friends for about 8 months, so it's a bit of a transition. Anyway, we both have wildly demanding jobs (we both get maybe 1 night a week off). That said, he hasn't inquired about date #2. On the other hand, I saw him the other night while he was working (he manages a restaurant), and he couldn't keep his hands or eyes off of me. He'd hug me whenever he could, tell me how beautiful he thought I looked, stand and talk to me forever...he even put my hand in his while he was talking to me (which I thought was a bit strange all things considered). The body language clearly says "IM INTERESTED!!!"

 

What gives, and what should I do?

 

A part of me thinks that because he tried so hard to make the first date happen (he was incredibly persistent, took the reins, handled everything) - maybe he's waiting for me to make the effort?

 

Thoughts? And for those of you big on Astrology (I can't even believe I'm saying this): he's a Scorpio (I'm a Cancer), lol...

Edited by seeingthisguy
  • Like 1
Posted

You may be right - he tried hard for a first date. Might have been an effort and he expect it to be a two way street. You can initiate and engage conversation and why not ask him out for a date even if you don't call it that.

 

Sorry, I hardly care about astrology.

  • Like 1
Posted
I posted last week re: how long should I wait for a guy to ask for a second date. Everyone seemed to think 1 week was the appropriate amount of time. So get this...

 

First official date (we'd gone for coffee once prior): I go to this place, he cooks me dinner, we have amazing conversation, talk for hours, and end up making out hot and heavy. Amazing. No sex, but the date went really well.

 

We've been friends for about 8 months, so it's a bit of a transition. Anyway, we both have wildly demanding jobs (we both get maybe 1 night a week off). That said, he hasn't inquired about date #2. On the other hand, I saw him the other night while he was working (he manages a restaurant), and he couldn't keep his hands or eyes off of me. He'd hug me whenever he could, tell me how beautiful he thought I looked, stand and talk to me forever...he even put my hand in his while he was talking to me (which I thought was a bit strange all things considered). The body language clearly says "IM INTERESTED!!!"

 

What gives, and what should I do?

 

A part of me thinks that because he tried so hard to make the first date happen (he was incredibly persistent, took the reins, handled everything) - maybe he's waiting for me to make the effort?

 

Thoughts? And for those of you big on Astrology (I can't even believe I'm saying this): he's a Scorpio (I'm a Cancer), lol...

 

Your first date was him cooking you dinner at his place and making out. Then 8 months go by and he never asked you out for a second date? You see him and he's all handsy and huggsy but sill not asking to take you out?

 

This is not a mixed message. The message is clear. He wants to DO you not DATE you.

 

Sorry.

 

PS. he did NOT try hard to make the first date happen. A home-cooked-meal date is considered pretty lazy in the dating realm.. on par with Netflix n chill...

  • Like 4
Posted
Your first date was him cooking you dinner at his place and making out. Then 8 months go by and he never asked you out for a second date? You see him and he's all handsy and huggsy but sill not asking to take you out?

 

This is not a mixed message. The message is clear. He wants to DO you not DATE you.

 

Sorry.

 

PS. he did NOT try hard to make the first date happen. A home-cooked-meal date is considered pretty lazy in the dating realm.. on par with Netflix n chill...

 

I think he wanted to get laid too. Sorry.

 

Hey, a guy cooking you a meal and setting up a romantic, indoor nite IMO, is putting more effort than taking you to a restaurant then brining you up for a nite-cap. But seriously, if the dinner indoors is meant with the intention to bed you (and you haven't even started dating and/or aren't married) then that's just cheesey and cheap.

  • Like 3
Posted
Hey, a guy cooking you a meal and setting up a romantic, indoor nite IMO, is putting more effort than taking you to a restaurant then brining you up for a nite-cap.

 

This guy works in a restaurant so cooking and serving meals is "all in a day's work" for him. Plus he could have easily brought home food to serve her or might even be one who likes to cook and serve people which makes this whole set up even more effortless.

 

He doesn't have to decide where to take her. He doesn't have to make dinner reservations. He doesn't have to worry about the restaurant bill. He doesn't have to dress for dinner. He doesn't have to drive anywhere. He doesn't have to figure out how to convince her to come back to his place...

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
Your first date was him cooking you dinner at his place and making out. Then 8 months go by and he never asked you out for a second date? You see him and he's all handsy and huggsy but sill not asking to take you out?

 

This is not a mixed message. The message is clear. He wants to DO you not DATE you.

 

Sorry.

 

PS. he did NOT try hard to make the first date happen. A home-cooked-meal date is considered pretty lazy in the dating realm.. on par with Netflix n chill...

 

HAHA no no, first date was a week ago (not 8 months ago). We've been friends for 8 months is what I meant.

  • Like 1
Posted

If you want another date, tell him.

 

Then you'll find out if he's really interested or not.

 

There's no need for mystery and guesswork.

  • Like 4
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted
If you want another date, tell him.

 

Then you'll find out if he's really interested or not.

 

There's no need for mystery and guesswork.

 

Lol nice work, McGruff. Hahahaha. Mystery solved. Going on another date, he's "definitely interested." #WellPlayed

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