DwightKSchrute Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Hi everyone, been looking at this forum for a while now while trying to deal with my own break up from my ex girlfriend of 2.5 years but never posted anything. However I’m at a stage now where I feel I can post the details now as I have been struggling lately. I’ll start when last August I decided to take a job in the Middle East for 9 months. This was an amazing opportunity for me in my career and working abroad is something I had always wanted to do. We had been together for just under 2 years then and like you would expect she didn’t really want me to go, however I explained to her that this was massive and she could come over when I had holidays and we would be fine. I should let you know that during this relationship, she was more invested than me in that she would post cheesy status’ and post things about us where as I didn’t do this as much, she knew I still loved her but and felt the same way about her. Anyway I started my job and we were as good as ever. We both missed each other, talked to each other each day and tried to Facetime or Skype whenever possible. Time passed and she came out and visited in November. It was amazing to have her there and see her again. A few weeks after she left is where the first problems arised, one day I got a notification saying someone had logged on to my snapchat from an IP address in the UK and also someone had logged on to my facebook. I knew it was her as she had given me her IPOD and she was still receiving messages on it through imessage. She had told her friend that she done it and was worried about who was on my list and if I was snapchatting other girls but when I asked she point blank lied. This hurt me but I eventually confronted her and she admitted it, I was so annoyed and hurt she done this but she begged not to end anything and she was so sorry. I loved her and I knew the right thing was to forgive her and move on. Christmas came and I came home for 2 weeks, Again it was amazing being home and spending time with her, good as ever, I could really tell she was in love with me and I was with her. Although I didn’t tell her a lot I missed her like mad and loved her so being away was hard but my work was very demanding and I couldn’t get any time off to come home and visit. February came and my birthday came, everything was great we were amazing together and still talked every day, missed each other etc. Not a hint of any argument between us. Fast forward a week later and this is when it started to go downhill. Now I am no angel here I know that, and this is my fault how it started. I asked her to put money in my bank so I could buy something, she said she would try, she didn’t promise anything and ended up she didn’t make the bank in time. I was so annoyed( I know my fault not hers) I started to say things that I knew would annoy her such as ‘I’m going to stay here for 2 years’ ‘I have deleted all our chat history on WhatsApp.’ Just saying hurtful things that I did not mean but I knew it would annoy her! I regret this night so much and it annoys me each day. To make it worse, the next day was Valentines Day. We barely spoke as she was clearly pi**ed of at me and hurt. I tried to explain how sorry I was and how I only said they things as I knew it would annoy her and that I never meant anything. She acknowledged what I was saying however couldn’t get over the fact I said it and it still hurt. So we had a talk and she said she needed some space, we could still talk but not as much as before as it wouldn’t be right and she needed time to think, however she assured me we were far from over. That week was horrible, I couldn’t not talk to her, each day and night I would leave a nice message, I even phoned her a few times in which we spoke but I could tell she didn’t want to speak.(if only I knew now that I should have taken that week to let her recover and not keep pressuring her) I ordered a new phone cover for her and a nice card to get delivered to her house, I felt so bad and I could not focus in work. Again I probably pressured her into having a chat to sort things out on the Thursday night where she said yes everything is fine I forgive you but don’t let it happen again. I was so relived but even when I was talking to her she didn’t seem normal. About an hour later she said that she felt she was lying to herself and that she wasn’t ready yet, she still missed and loved me but something just didn’t seem right. She started to say she was bad for me etc and that I had a life before her and I would have one after her. Hearing these things sent me into panic mode, I begged liked mad and went crazy throwing things about my room etc. Eventually we agreed to not speak for a week, no contact at all and see how we were feeling after the week. That night I decided to go on her Facebook just to look and came across her friends page, when I went on there I seen she was tagged in pictures on nights out when she said to me she was working. Her explanation was she went out before work for a few hours and that she didn’t have to tell me about it cos I did not ask. I felt betrayed even although I kinda believed her but she still lied about it. It then got worse, I logged on to her emails and seen she had logged on to a 24 hour WIFI at a Travel Lodge. This threw me and I called her a liar, I asked her why was she at a travel lodge and her first response was ‘Why would I be at a Travel Lodge?’ Long story short she got so pissed at me saying I was accusing her of things and yes I did call her a liar but she said I didn’t trust her, Her reason for being at a travel lodge was her and her friend went to pick her friends parents up from Perth after they had stayed there for the night. She didn’t want to talk to me and said she needed space and time but I knew I had to come home, after speaking to my mum and my boss I booked a flight on the Friday night, I got a few days to come home to try and fix things. I didn’t tell her as she had already told me not to come home. I arrived the Saturday morning and she was at work. I am really close to her family so I walked into her house and her mum and dad just thought I was home to surprise her for a few days. When I got in to her room the phone cover I got her was sitting on her computer desk, that was hard for me to see. That wait for her to get home was the longest in my life. When she finally got home she was so annoyed to see me but I needed to come home or I would have regretted it my whole life. She barley spoke to me and gave me nothing, didn’t want to touch me etc. I left after 45 mins but after leaving I felt 100 times better as if I was fine with everything. It was so good being home and around my family. I was due to leave on the Monday morning and she was working the Sunday, we talked a little and she was hesitating whether or not to come up to talk on the Sunday night, she eventually said that she couldn’t come up as it wasn’t fair, I had fell asleep anyway so I didn’t see the message until the morning. I was gutted with the way things turned out when I went home and it should have confirmed things for me but I was too naive. My mum has always said if someone wants to be with you they will make time but clearly this wasn't the case. Anyway I went back and she started posting pictures of her on nights out and changing her profile pictures before saying it was over as it was the only way she would get the space and time needed. It killed me and took a good few weeks to accept it, I started NC for a few weeks and she would get annoyed as I replied with a thumbs up to one of her breadcrumbs messages, she replied a couple of hours later saying 'so am a not even worth words anymore that annoyed me hahaha' I ignored this and she then replied with 'why are you being so rude' I caved and said that I was doing no contact as it was helping me. During this time she also tweeted saying 'I'm over everything' with a middle finger emoji and has also tweeted indirect quotes about relationships. I muted her on FB and Twitter but my friend said that she was posting stupid things directed at me. Everybody keeps telling me she has a guilty conscience about something but I don't know what to think. I have been on NC but since coming home I have tried to get my things back from hers(Massive DVD and bobblehead collection haha! Clothes and Xbox) but she has read them and ignoring me. I will text her mum now as I want everything back and try and move on with my life. It's been difficult being back home and not having her, feel like I have went backwards 10 folds in my healing. She has texted my best friends gf saying she has deliberately distanced herself from them incase they were on my side but we are all adults here and that isn't the case, they done nothing wrong as she ignored her best friend during that time also. Few things I've forgot to add! -She accused me of getting with a married woman who I had spoken to once at a party with along with her husband. I explained to her that it was ridiculous and explained how I hadn't. It was as if she was trying to make me look bad. -I miss her like mad, we used to do everything together and be with each other everyday so it's been incredibly hard being back to this without her - I don't feel as though I can love anyone as much as I did with her. I don't even feel like talking to any other girls right now. - I now feel horrible blocking her on Twitter/Facebook, Just know she will be posting indirect tweets about me Thank you all for listening to me and it's good to get everything out there. I just want this horrible feeling to go away. I think I became dependant on her and never seen this coming so it's hit me hard. No way at Christmas time would I have ever thought we would essentially be strangers now. Kills me everyday.
Rachel39 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I think this relationship may not of been good for either of you ? You should keep no contact so you can heal and move on with your life. You will find someone that suitable for you
Author DwightKSchrute Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 Update: After sending her a message last week about my stuff in which she read but didn't reply, I text her mum yesterday and we arranged a suitable time etc. After that I finally removed her from all social media, then this morning she decided to text saying "so you delete me from everything, then say you can't get a hold of me? Obviously not". I'm not even going to respond to it.
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