getsmartie Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Don't get so caught up in the relationship that you forget about your friends! 2
jen1447 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Be attractive. Don't be unattractive. My tip would actually be to avoid tips bc IRL this stuff's usually too niggly-particular to be covered well by generalities. 1
RecentChange Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Rather than looking for a relationship to make you "complete" - work on making yourself as complete as you can - and they will come to you. Emphasise the qualities in yourself, that you desire in a partner. Want someone who is secure and confident? Be secure and confident. Want someone passionate and sexy, be passionate and sexy. 5
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Rather than looking for a relationship to make you "complete" - work on making yourself as complete as you can - and they will come to you. Emphasise the qualities in yourself, that you desire in a partner. Want someone who is secure and confident? Be secure and confident. Want someone passionate and sexy, be passionate and sexy. Yeah, I'd go with that. Don't demand things you can't offer in return just because you think you deserve them simply for being you. That said, all the tips in the world won't amount to much when you are finally sat opposite them, swept in the moment and completely oblivious to anything else. And living in the moment is great, too . 2
Imajerk17 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Your mission when it comes to dating isn't to get someone to like you, nor is it to change, fix, or "make wrong" anybody else. Instead, your mission in dating is to show up unapologetically as you are. And if you don't like something about yourself, change it or own it. 4
SammySammy Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Have fun. Enjoy the process of finding someone. Don't worry about outcomes so much. If you find someone compatible with you, great. If not, that's okay too. Just make sure you're enjoying yourself along the way. 5
soph-walker Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Keep a check on your standards; too low/too high are not always a recipe for love. 1
Poutrew Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 (edited) 10 characters.... Edited April 10, 2016 by Poutrew
road Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I'll add another. Don't date co-workers. Bad advice. I have known lots of people that met their future spouse at work to wind up being married 50 years and grand kids. You like a woman ask her out. Just ask her out. Do not worry or care about being rejected. Just as you are not willing to date every woman. There is no woman out there that has to be willing to date every man. Do not multi date. 1
ltjg45 Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Make sure you can stand on your own before attempting to invite someone else into your life for any reason. 3
hippychick3 Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Attraction does not equal attachment. Excessive texting also does not equal attachment. Dating should be a slow and steady process. Don't allow yourself to jump ahead without going through the stages. Keep expectations low and stay emotionally detached until they've shown consistency and trustworthiness over time. Dating should be FUN. If you're not having fun, you're dating the wrong person. 1
JuanDelToro Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 -- Don`t let anyone to tell you what you should or shouldn`t do. -- Don`t let his/hers emotions affect yours. 1
Author Jabron1 Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 (edited) Bad advice. I have known lots of people that met their future spouse at work to wind up being married 50 years and grand kids. Reasons against: - Beautiful women are everywhere - Peace and quiet at work is disturbed: some of us value our space - Sexual harassment in the workplace - Everyone knows your business - Dealing with the fallout at work is a nightmare (can personally vouch for that) Can't think of any particular positives, other than the thrill of playing around whilst you should be working. I think it's completely unnecessary and really not worth it IMO. People at work get friendzoned. We all have boundaries, right? There's one of mine. Do not multi date. Bad advice Just different perspectives Edited April 11, 2016 by Jabron1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Know when to cut your losses. It is terrible to see people waste months and years of their life in situations where the writing was on the wall at month 1. I have wasted all my 20s like that and it's one of the biggest regrets of my life. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 As for dating at work, I would do it in a second if someone was single. It's by far the place where I find people with most in common with me. I would date over 50% of them easily.
smudge21 Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Try not to over think every single little detail. If he/she wants to be with you, then they'll be with you. Don't think the worse just because they didn't respond to your last text. Try to read signs better or at least go with your instincts and what you feel is right. The amount of times I've misjudged a moment - "oh sorry, I don't drink coffee so no need for me to come up to your apartment.." doof!!!
SwordofFlame Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I don't agree with the don't date at work advice. It depends. If you report to this person or come in regular contact every day, than it's probably not a good idea. But if you work in a large company with hundreds or thousands of employees, and you don't see this person very often, why not?
jen1447 Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 I don't agree with the don't date at work advice. It depends. If you report to this person or come in regular contact every day, than it's probably not a good idea. But if you work in a large company with hundreds or thousands of employees, and you don't see this person very often, why not? It's actually an example of why rubber stamp tips don't actually apply well - obvs each person's scenario could vary wildly and would have to be evaluated independently.
2.50 a gallon Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Lesson #1: Girls just want to have fun Learn how to talk to women and then learn to listen. Don't jump in and tell her all about yourself. Ask her about her life, her pets, her cats, her likes, movies, favorite foods, restaurants, etc. If you listen she will unknowingly give you openings to ask her out. Indian food, what is it like? It has been awhile, since you have eaten there. Let me take you and you can help me order. Have you ever tried Thai food? You have never been the races? There is going to be a great one next week I took dates to the circus, car races, taught them how to fish, taught them how to fly kites, Etc. 2
2.50 a gallon Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Listen to what oldshirt says. I learned that if I found a gal attractive, in most cases she had a boyfriend. And lesson 1A: Don't back off just because you think she is out of your league in the looks department. I am a short skinny guy and for the past 20 years I have happily shared my life with a long legged gal totally out of my league. She is 8 years younger than me, and when we met she was living with a tall, muscular, guy, read six pack. who just so happened to look like her favorite actor, Steven Segal. I am still not sure how I won, but she is totally in love with me. And I her.
jasmineb Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Lighten up - it's not life or death. No, it's really not. Think logically about yourself. If you have dated 100 different people and something was "wrong" every time.....the common denominator is YOU. NOT the 100 people you dated. Be honest when you look at yourself and fix what needs fixing. Or just bow out when you get too bitter.
Toodaloo Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Shut your mouth and open your ears. Actually listen to what they are saying not what you want to hear. Never be afraid to ask questions even if you think they are personal or intrusive. Smile. Lastly it doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship - all that matters is that you can look yourself in the mirror each day, like and be proud of the person looking back at you. As long as you can do that then you are bound to meet others who like and will be proud to be with you. Then you get to make the choice. Oh and before you take JasmineB's second bit of advice remember that we are not all here to love everybody. We all have different character traits and flaws that make and define us as individuals. So if you can honestly say that you have no idea what it is and none of your friends or family can give you feed back or help with that... well sometimes it really is just a simple matter of you have not found the right one yet. Don't bother beating yourself up about it. Just go out and meet more people instead. 1
GravityMan Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 - Just be yourself, get out there and date! You'll likely learn a lot of valuable things by just doing that. And those lessons will be tailored towards you and your temperament. - Don't get too invested too early. - Relax, don't take things TOO seriously, don't overthink and try to get outside your head and live in the moment...that may make it easier to just enjoy each other's company. - Listen and pay attention. Don't ignore your gut or intuition. - Maintain a reasonable, healthy perspective...it's just a darn DATE, and the end of the world won't happen if the date doesn't work out. Some "failures" are blessings in disguise. And keep in mind that often it's nobody's fault if the date didn't lead to future dates...many dates go very well, but the sparks or "fit" or whatever wasn't quite what one or both people were looking for. (Jen makes a good point about rubber stamp tips, though...) 1
Woggle Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 I will give a few. Always look at what people do instead of what they say. Be who you are and don't change yourself for anybody because 9 times out of 10 they still aren't pleased once they get what they claim to want. It is not your obligation to pay for the wrongs that other members of your gender did.
Shiggs Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 One thing a friend told me about was in regards to the fear of rejection when pursuing women. It has helped me cope and move on after a recent break up. I recently got out of a 3 year relationship where my ex didn't want me in her life anymore. Looking back, this was the ultimate rejection. I don't feel as afraid approaching women anymore to ask them out anymore. It all kind of clicked in my head. Rejection happens all the time, and we shouldn't fear it. The rejection of my ex kinda numbed the pain that rejection happens and we shouldn't let it get in our way of pursuing women or anything in life. How we deal with it is what defines us. So my one tip: Don't fear rejection when asking someone out. The worst thing they can say is "No." It's not the end of the world. 1
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